Rants

You can never wash away the hurt and pain someone has done to you.

It’s like you forgave them but you haven’t forgotten.

But I kinda don’t want to forget.

I want to keep my memories of my pain because I’m protecting myself, in a way.

I’m not letting my heart get hurt any more.

I refuse to get hurt by another stupid boy.

No more, I’m done.

Actually, that was a lie.

There is one boy but I’ll get to that later.

Anyway, I’ve kept everything bottled up, and when I’m really hurting I lock myself in my room and cry for hours.

When I’m done I wash my face and lay down on my bed to cool down.

Sometimes I hate crying, and other times I think it’s good to cry so I won’t snap at anyone or bottle it up for so long that it’ll just burst.

I want to talk to someone but I can’t.

I don’t really have anyone I can trust.

Sometimes I just feel so alone and just downright depressed.

I’ve been this way all school year.

I thought it was just a normal teenage phase and it’d go away, but it hasn’t.