You Wanna Ride White Lightning?

White Lightning Wing Commander Steve “Steamin’, Dreamy, Snikker, Mayhem, P.T.W.” Clark... Clarky. You Sir are one of my biggest heroes, if not the biggest. I can only imagine how you would react to reading this; you’d probably cringe. You wouldn’t cringe at the fact that this is a little creepy, but at the fact that you’re my hero. It probably would have made you feel fake.

I can only assume it would make you feel fake, as I never actually got to meet you. But people who have met you have said that you would visibly flinch when someone asked you for an autograph, and that you hated being recognized because it made you feel ‘fake’.

There are very few things I’m certain of in life. And the one thing I’m most certain about is that you Steven Clark were nothing short of a guitar-playing wizard. The last thing you were was fake, let me tell you. I know how it feels though, to feel fake. I think that’s one of the biggest reasons I’ve always looked up to you. Because I can relate to you… not completely as I don’t know how things really were for you. But from what I’ve read in articles and interviews… I can relate.

You actually died a year before I was born, so I never even got a chance to think that I would actually get to meet you. But the thought of building a time machine and getting to chill with you is always nice. I’m sure you could have used a friend who can relate. I like to sometimes think that if I could go back in time and make friends with you, that maybe I could have helped you a little. And maybe you could still be playing for kids today.

From one article I read, in one of my Guitar World magazines, that was dedicated to ‘fallen guitar heroes’ -I cry every time I read it, because it breaks my heart. It said that you were just broken and in need of a friend. I’d like to think I could have been that friend. It also gave me the impression that part of the reason you were so unhappy was that you felt like you weren’t the star guitar player for Def Leppard anymore. That Phil had taken your place because he was being handed all the work. Phil was clean and sober, and recently became a vegetarian and gym devotee… and you… you were the ‘fuck up’. You were ‘incurable’.

I can’t even begin to express how much I know how that feels. Oh God Steve, do I ever. It hurts… it hurts a lot. To constantly compare yourself to your best friend, and always come out the loser, the one who’s never going to be good enough… the fuck up. That’s how I feel. I used to be ‘the star artist’ and now I’m just second fiddle, if that.

Let me tell you something Steve, you were always the star guitar player. Always! And you always will be. Sure Phil is good. But he’s no Steven Clark. I’d rather listen to you play any day. I really would. I’ll admit I can’t really tell the difference between the two of you on your albums unless it’s been pointed out. But I just know…

I just wish I could have met you, just once. And I’d been able to talk to you. Not just the usual; “Oh Steve your so amazing blah blah blah”, but an actual conversation. I never really realised why I look up to you so much before. I mean… you were an alcoholic, addicted to cocaine, painkillers, and who knows what else. But as I’m writing this, I’m just realizing how much I can relate to you.

I’ve been crying through the entire time I’ve been writing this. I feel like such a twat. No one’s ever made me cry like this. But I can’t help it. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, all I can say is I wish you were still here, and that I could tell you how much you mean to me. I look up to you so much it hurts. And I can only hope that you’re happy now… you deserve to be happy more then anyone I know. You were such an inspiration. And you will always live on in my heart as one of the greatest guitar players there ever was.

You’ve really touched my life Steve… and this is the only way I’ll ever get to thank you. You were such an amazing man in life, and I wish you all the best in death.