‹ Prequel: No Love For the Dead
Zombie Squad
III
"Well," David said while walking down the steps from city hall, "We got lucky." "What do you mean we got lucky?" Johnny asked. "Well," David replied while grabbing his keys from his pocket, "I'm surprised the mayor is even giving us a shot considering how you fucked us in the ass back there!" Johnny was speechless. "What the fuck do you mean 'I fucked you in the ass' back there?!? I didn't fuck nobody in the ass in there! You're just acting like a little bitch is all, huh Simon?" "Nope." Simon replied almost instantly. "See?"
"What the fuck is going on over here?" Laughed a deep voice from around the corner. "Ahh shit," David yelled, "What the fuck are you doing here Rick. And what the fuck is Tattoo doing here with you?" It in fact was Rick Dillenger standing there, with his, as he likes to call him, vertically challenged friend Ronnie. But that doesn't make Ronnie seem any shorter, cause as everyone else sees it, he could very well be a garden gnome. "What does he mean Tattoo? I don't understand why I would be called Tattoo." Rick didn't fell like telling him that this was a Fantasy Island reference. Felling that it was better to just spare Ronnie's feelings.
"Alright," Rick asked with a serious face, "What are you girls doing fighting all the way over here at city hall. Shouldn't you be at home playing Sonic or some shit like that?" Ronnie saw the key chain on David's key ring and decided to take a shot at making fun of him. "Why do you have that Sonic key chain son? David looked at his keys and saw a Shadow the Hedgehog key chain staring right at him. "Hey Simon, do you see a Sonic the hedgehog key chain anywhere on here?" Simon knew what David was doing and played along, "Why no David, I don't see a sonic key chain anywhere!"
"Oh yeah," David said, "That's because it's Shadow the Hedgehog you stupid motherfucker! So.... FUCK YOU RONNIE!" Rick decided to butt in and stop this fighting, "Alright seriously, what are you dumb asses doing here?" Johnny answered this question very quickly, "We're going to become the zombie squad." Rick and Ronnie both started laughing. "Like fuck, you morons are going to be in your stupid little zombie squad." Rick laughed while wiping tears from his eyes. "What makes you think you can become a zombie squad?"
David, walked past Rick and towards a stumbling member of the undead who was at the corner. "You see this zombie right here?" David said while keeping a safe distance from the monster, "How do you kill it?" "You destroy it's brain. Of course." Rick answered. "Ah," David replied with a smile on his face, "What do you do with it's body afterwords?" "You bury it of course." Answered Ricks little friend. "Dumbass" Johnny said between coughs. Ronnie turned around and yelled at Johnny, "You want to go you stupid nerd? I used to beat up nerds like you in high school." "You don't want to fight me little man. I'll kick your ass without mercy."
"Come on" Rick said, grabbing Ronnie's arm, "Don't listen to him. He's just filled with rage. I'll beat him later." "That's what she said!" Johnny yelled while laughing. Rick turned around and saw both Johnny and Simon laughing hysterically, "Alright!" he yelled, with pure anger in his voice, "Which one of you dead fuckers said that? I hate that stupid joke. It's not funny and it never WAS funny! Alright!" "Hey!" David yelled, while pushing the zombie away from him, "Do you want to know what to do with this zombie's corpse or not?"
"Yeah, fine" Rick said, slightly annoyed, "What do you do with it?" David then thought about what he should say, should he tell Rick that you're supposed to burn the body, or let him suffer by not telling him? If he didn't tell him then they would have a better chance of getting the squad formed. He decided what he should say. "Well, I could tell you, but I'm might thirsty right now. Come on you guys, let's go to the bar." The three of them walked to and entered the car. "Hey, tell me!" Rick yelled, "What do you do!" "Well," Simon replied from the back seat, "I think you should go home with your lover there, play some nude Twister, and maybe eat a waffle." David put his foot on the pedal and sped off as fast as he could. "You three listen to me!" Rick yelled while chasing their car, "Your zombie squad will never be a reality! I'll make sure you fail at everything you do! EVERYTHING!"
"What the fuck is going on over here?" Laughed a deep voice from around the corner. "Ahh shit," David yelled, "What the fuck are you doing here Rick. And what the fuck is Tattoo doing here with you?" It in fact was Rick Dillenger standing there, with his, as he likes to call him, vertically challenged friend Ronnie. But that doesn't make Ronnie seem any shorter, cause as everyone else sees it, he could very well be a garden gnome. "What does he mean Tattoo? I don't understand why I would be called Tattoo." Rick didn't fell like telling him that this was a Fantasy Island reference. Felling that it was better to just spare Ronnie's feelings.
"Alright," Rick asked with a serious face, "What are you girls doing fighting all the way over here at city hall. Shouldn't you be at home playing Sonic or some shit like that?" Ronnie saw the key chain on David's key ring and decided to take a shot at making fun of him. "Why do you have that Sonic key chain son? David looked at his keys and saw a Shadow the Hedgehog key chain staring right at him. "Hey Simon, do you see a Sonic the hedgehog key chain anywhere on here?" Simon knew what David was doing and played along, "Why no David, I don't see a sonic key chain anywhere!"
"Oh yeah," David said, "That's because it's Shadow the Hedgehog you stupid motherfucker! So.... FUCK YOU RONNIE!" Rick decided to butt in and stop this fighting, "Alright seriously, what are you dumb asses doing here?" Johnny answered this question very quickly, "We're going to become the zombie squad." Rick and Ronnie both started laughing. "Like fuck, you morons are going to be in your stupid little zombie squad." Rick laughed while wiping tears from his eyes. "What makes you think you can become a zombie squad?"
David, walked past Rick and towards a stumbling member of the undead who was at the corner. "You see this zombie right here?" David said while keeping a safe distance from the monster, "How do you kill it?" "You destroy it's brain. Of course." Rick answered. "Ah," David replied with a smile on his face, "What do you do with it's body afterwords?" "You bury it of course." Answered Ricks little friend. "Dumbass" Johnny said between coughs. Ronnie turned around and yelled at Johnny, "You want to go you stupid nerd? I used to beat up nerds like you in high school." "You don't want to fight me little man. I'll kick your ass without mercy."
"Come on" Rick said, grabbing Ronnie's arm, "Don't listen to him. He's just filled with rage. I'll beat him later." "That's what she said!" Johnny yelled while laughing. Rick turned around and saw both Johnny and Simon laughing hysterically, "Alright!" he yelled, with pure anger in his voice, "Which one of you dead fuckers said that? I hate that stupid joke. It's not funny and it never WAS funny! Alright!" "Hey!" David yelled, while pushing the zombie away from him, "Do you want to know what to do with this zombie's corpse or not?"
"Yeah, fine" Rick said, slightly annoyed, "What do you do with it?" David then thought about what he should say, should he tell Rick that you're supposed to burn the body, or let him suffer by not telling him? If he didn't tell him then they would have a better chance of getting the squad formed. He decided what he should say. "Well, I could tell you, but I'm might thirsty right now. Come on you guys, let's go to the bar." The three of them walked to and entered the car. "Hey, tell me!" Rick yelled, "What do you do!" "Well," Simon replied from the back seat, "I think you should go home with your lover there, play some nude Twister, and maybe eat a waffle." David put his foot on the pedal and sped off as fast as he could. "You three listen to me!" Rick yelled while chasing their car, "Your zombie squad will never be a reality! I'll make sure you fail at everything you do! EVERYTHING!"