Lost Souls

Stefan's body stiffened visibly and I knew. He understood.

He wasn't an idiot.

"When?" he asked abruptly.

"At Louis' earlier," I started. I tilted my head back and found a sudden interest in the patterns on the ceiling. It was distracting me while I simply stated facts. "It was a masquerade ball and evidently I was wearing a mask. He--he didn't recognise me." My voice broke at the ending, despite my efforts not to, and Stefan clearly heard it since he came on the couch and hugged me.

No crying me for me.

No, I was past that long ago. But, it was this comfort I needed.

So I sighed and relaxed against him. "I'm sorry," he murmured in my hair.

All I could manage was a quick nod.

Oh the hurt...

Oh…the rage.

How can he not recognise me? Christophe did immediately!

I hadn't changed, appearance-wise. My hair was the same, the curls just a little less crazy and more defined; I had the same eyes, same build, and the same fricking voice! How could someone be so...so...incompetent!

I broke our contact and smiled weakly. "I should think myself to be lucky. I mean, if there was anything I never want brought up, it's that." I said 'that' like one would to some terrible disease. And maybe, in some ways, it was. He was. I don't think I could explain further than that because well, I don't fully understand it enough to express it.

But my thoughts; my feelings, my conclusions and my rationality on things don't truly matter. What is relevant, however, is the facts.

And the fact is that he left me alone. The fact is that he made me cry that day. The fact is that he wasn't there for me when he should've. The fact that is that Stefan found me in a pool of my own blood and I was alive. The fact is this and the fact is that.

The fact is that if he was with me then, none of these twenty years would've happened.

And the fact is, I am grateful for that and that alone.

Because no matter how much I resented him, he gave me friends and a life.

A reason to live.

I wasn't in this empty shell anymore. I wasn't hiding my abilities anymore.

I woke up in my bed, the sunlight streaming through the thick curtains. I groaned and rubbed my eyes.

My house phone rang; shrilly and loud that was so irritating that I had no choice but to answer.

"Darling, how are you?" I heard Christophe say through the line, his voice way too frivolous for this early in the morning. I glanced at the clock. Damn, it was midday.

"Fine," I grunted.

"You seem just peachy," he said and laughed loudly as if I made such a big joke.

"What. The. Mother cunt?" I asked. I could picture Christophe rolling his eyes, all so posh, as if cursing was something he didn't do.

Who cares anyways, 'cause really, it helps me to calm down. Of course, it's also amusing when people look at me funny just 'cause I used 'fuck' way more times than I should in one sentence.

"It seems as if I've acquired an old friend as a guest in my humble abode," he paused as I snorted. Humble abode? Right, and I was Mary Frickin' Poppins. You don't call a two storey mansion that had another level below ground plus pools and mazes and those statues that cost way too much, humble. He then continued. "Yes and last night it was evident you had a certain...reaction to him."

My breathing stopped.

It couldn't be.

"What did you do?" I whispered, my eyes widening.

"I don't know how you know him Rayna," he said softly, his voice losing its flambouyance. "But he does not remember you."

My heart dropped. I know this already; stop telling me, I wanted to scream. I clenched my teeth and closed my burning eyes.

"And well Damon has a reputation for..."

"Being a man-whore?" I suggested bitterly. Christophe sighed heavily.

"So that's how you know him. I was afraid of that," he said. Seconds passed before either of us said anything and it was Christophe who broke the silence. "So what do you want to do?"

I thought about it. Cry? Wallow in self-pity?

No.

I may be weary and hurt but I was also raging pissed. And I wanted to get...even.

I smiled, "Expect me at your home, Louis." And with that I hung up.