After Tonight

I stared at the plane ticket stuck to my refrigerator. January 4th—only two short days away. The question was did I still bust my ass to make the flight?
The tumultuous event at Thanksgiving had plagued the rest of the holiday season, as well as Jo’s wedding—which I showed up to alone. Rob hadn’t tried to contact me since the end of November. No phone calls, no emails, no texts and certainly no letters. Not surprisingly, he never showed up for Christmas. I’d tried for a while, calling and sending emails, but when he never answered I gave up. It was as if I wasn’t even in a relationship with him anymore, despite the fact that his half of all our bills were mysteriously taken care of on time.
Missing him was quite possibly killing me. My appetite was off and I stopped going for runs through the park. The silence of the flat without his husky, melodic voice and guitar-playing drove me close to a breakdown, but I couldn’t bear to be with a crowd without him. My life revolved around work and nothing else. I made no time for people, just baked goods and a horse of a golden retriever.
At least I still had Jude. She’d paw at my legs the second I got home and we’d take a nice walk for an hour or so. And at night, she took over Rob’s space in the bed, snuggling close to me with her loud breathing. I wondered how much Rob would mind to find himself sleeping in dog hair when he came home. If he did.
My family thought I was torturing myself, as they made frequent comments on the sallowy color my skin had taken on and the increasing visual of my bones, but I assured them I wasn’t. Because really, I wasn’t doing any of it on purpose. I just didn’t care.
Obviously I was to blame for all of this, but I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea of just cutting him out of my life that—we had a dog together for Christ’s sake! I’d never felt the way I did with Rob but I had no idea how to prove that to him now and I wasn’t sure if he’d even give me the chance. I was beginning to wonder if he had even known how much I cared for him. Had I ever done anything that truly showed him that he was the air in lungs?
My mother was a firm believer that the solution to every one of life’s troubles was a massage and a hefty slice of tiramisu. I on the other hand, thought it was a bottle of red wine, but as along as she was paying I indulged in both.
So she treated my sisters, Emma, Allie and me to a girls’ day where all five of them proceeded to counsel me. As if I didn’t feel worse already, my mom pointed out pictures of Rob and me on an evening out inside an old People magazine in the spa waiting room.
“You two were just adorable. I bet I’d have myself some attractive grandbabies if you hadn’t kissed Eric.” Thanks mom.
“Rob doesn’t like kids.”
“All the same. If you hadn’t kissed Eric.” I was practically bursting out of my skin to get inside the secluded massage room.
Lunch wasn’t much better. I tried to gorge myself with enough food that I didn’t have to speak, but like all of my plans it failed. My stomach couldn’t handle it all.
“That’s not fair.” I chided. “Rob isn’t that kind of guy. I doubt he’s gone on a sex rampage since he left.” Even though I’d consistently wondered the same thing, they had no right to say that about him.
“He’s irresistible. You think just because you’re not getting any means he’s not either?” Grace asked, poking the wobbly mound of rum-soaked cake on her plate. “He is the It Guy. Every female wants a piece of him and to him, it looks like you want something else. He’s vulnerable—of course he’s getting some!”
“I don’t think that’s true.” Allie chimed in, patting my arm and shooting Grace a dirty glare. “He’s probably beating himself up over all of this and has calmed down to hear Abbey’s side of it all. Rob wouldn’t just expect Abbey to think it’s over between them and move on—he’s too much of a gentleman.”
Allie was right. I would not, could not, allow that clean of a break. For me to really know it was over, I had to hear it from Rob himself. And if he wasn’t going to make the first step, I would.
That is precisely what I did. I packed my suitcase and printed off all of Rob’s hotel information, even the alias I was supposed to give the front desk when I asked for a room key. I was going down to Australia and we were going to fix this. And if indeed we were finished, I wanted to see him once more.
For the first time since I’d known her, Allie said I was not being rash. To my family, however, my plan was riddled with problems. What if he changed his room—what if he’d changed hotels? What if he told the hotel not to give me a key and what if he’d already moved onto to that porn-star of a leading lady? I ignored all of it. All I wanted to do was be in the same room with him again.
Allie rode in the cab with me to the airport and I was so thankful. I’d considered turning back three times and without her there, I probably would have done it eventually. I checked my luggage and said goodbye to her, breathing deeply to prepare myself for the two-day flight ahead of me.
“Don’t worry about it Abbey.” Allie said, giving me a hug. “You know the truth and as much as I hate to say this, if he doesn’t believe you he isn’t the one you’re meant for.”
“I know.” I sighed sadly. Allie believed in signs too. “I know.” I knew it was true, but I desperately wanted Rob to be the one. A year ago I’d had no idea this stranger would come to mean everything to me.
“Jude likes to listen to the radio when you’re out.” I called over my shoulder as I headed into the airport. Allie just laughed and shook her head.
…
When the plane touched ground in Sydney, I was disoriented and a little buzzed. The plane served alcohol. During one of the stops, I’d called the car service Rob had prearranged to pick me up just to make sure everything was still set. I had no idea how to navigate around Australia—I was mapless—so if it wasn’t, I’d be screwed. But for the first time since November, my luck actually showed up and the customer service ensured there would be a car waiting for me.
It took an hour to get to the hotel and I spent the entire ride in a daze. Before I’d gotten into the car, I tripped over the curb and fell on top of my suitcase. My mission was going to be a hell of a lot harder when I wasn’t on my A-game…not that I really had one to begin with.
The driver pulled my suitcase out of the trunk and pulled it over to where I stood on the sidewalk. I was too busy finally taking in my beautiful surroundings to notice that he was waiting for a tip.
“Oh!” I realized all of my money was still American. “I’ve only got cash from the U.S.” He just smiled and extended his hand. Five bucks should do it, despite the fact our Dollar was losing its value.
“Alright, Abbey.” I talked myself down as I pulled my suitcase into the lobby. It was hard to focus when there were so many things to take in.
The hotel itself was gorgeous, unlike any place I’d ever stayed in. Everything was bright and exotically themed: the walls, the furniture, the lights—everything down to the doorknobs. And it all seemed to be enhanced by the bright sun and warm, sweet air. I noticed the Australians were gorgeous too. Everyone had dazzling teeth and a killer tan. I looked Albino next to these ‘sheilas’.
The woman at the front desk blinded me with her white teeth as I rolled up and got out my papers. Did everyone bleach down here?
“Hi, uh.” My voice quivered. What if I ended up flying down here for it all to just crash and burn? “I need a room key for “Bella” from ‘Edward’ who’s staying in room 609.” She gave me a quizzical look, raising her eyebrows. Did I not look good enough to be with Robert Pattinson or something?
“Alright you’re all set.” She flashed another toothy grin and handed me my key. “Have a lovely day!” My ass I would have a lovely day.
Robert insisted using aliases at the hotel, but it took forever to break him down to use the name Edward. Of course, I thought it was hilarious and would not give up until he agreed. He’d just shot me a look and asked if I was ever going to let him live that down.
I could barely keep hold of the key, dropping it several times before I’d even reached the elevator. My palms were slick with a thin layer of sweat, as was my forehead. Now that I’d finally arrived, I doubted everything that had made me come in the first place. All I could think about was the look on Rob’s face at Thanksgiving. His eyes lit up when he’d seen me—he’d skipped out on Thanksgiving with his parents to surprise me and I’d gone and hurt him so badly. What the hell was I doing here? I don’t even think I would accept my apology.
The hike down the hallway was a strenuous one. I kept psyching myself out that Rob would pass by and the other guests gave me strange looks that only added to my paranoia.
During the flight, as I dozed in and out of sleep, I realized that part of what my parents had warned me about was true. Had I seriously just planned to walk right into his hotel room? That was my master plan?
If he wasn’t there, I would have to wait—and he could be out forever! Or, I could just walk right in on him. And finally, the scenario that I’d played out so many times in the past hour or so was finding myself walking in on Rob and another woman.
By the time I finally made it to Room 609, I felt weak. I felt absolutely insane and the desire to run back to the elevator was overwhelming. What was more overwhelming was the sensation of Rob’s touch, that crooked grin and his hay stack of hair-do. I just wanted him to come home to me and rationally listen to my side of the story—not freakin’ UsWeekly’s version. He would forgive me and we move on with our lives together.
If only life were that simple.
Instead of vomiting, or running away, I pressed my ear against the door. If he was doing anything in there, I would definitely be able to hear it. Sighing with relief that I hadn't heard any moaning or groaning, I knocked steadily. I doubted he was asleep—it was six o’clock—but I knocked anyway. Nobody answered and another wave of relief swept over me. At least I had some more prep time. I staggered a bit, feeling a mix of jet lag and anxiety, and slid my key into the lot.
When I finally pushed the door open—they seemed so much heavier in Australia—the smell of smoke just about knocked me down. I could tell what Rob had been doing with his spare time and probably for most of his meals. The place was a mess—huge, but a mess. His clothes were everywhere and I found at least three ashtrays stocked to the brim. The bed was unmade—what a shocker—and there were socks scattered all over the floor. I felt a smile appear on my lips, remembering how many times I had to get on him to pick up his dirty laundry.
I waded through the sea of crap and shoved my suitcase in the corner—I didn’t dare unpack. On the off-chance that I was given extra time alone, I’d planned on showering up and at least attempting to look decent for Rob, but the clutter made it too hard to focus. I had to clean up; I didn’t come from a long line of obsessive compulsive cleaners for nothing. Within a half an hour, I’d managed to find the floor and make use of these things called trash cans, which Rob seemed to have forgotten about.
My body was beginning to ache from being cramped up in that airplane seat and the jet-lag was really starting to kick in. I glanced over at the king-size bed, which looked quite inviting, despite the pair of shoes that had been on top of the sheets only minutes ago. I saw down and wrote out a quick Pro/Con list on the hotel pad of paper.
Pros: Sleep for fifteen minutes, get up, shower and be ready to grovel for mercy within two hours.
Cons: He could come back when I was in the shower
But I just couldn’t stay awake. A quick nap wouldn’t really hurt would it, what kind of apology could I make if I could barely keep my eyes open? I figured he was still on the set, or that he’d gone out with his new girlfriend. Whatever the case was, I couldn’t stop myself from crawling underneath the covers. I smiled faintly at the familiar smell of Rob that lingered on the sheets. I inhaled deeply, letting myself go completely and hoping that Rob wouldn’t throw me out.

Rob’s P.O.V.
My hotel room was clean. Despite the “Do Not Disturb” sign I’d wrapped around the door handle, my room looked like I’d never set foot in it. Where there was once a trail of laundry and the stench of cigarettes was the now the horribly patterned carpet and the faint smell of citrus—I noticed a bottle of Fabreeze on the coffee table. I looked around in wonderment. This past month hadn’t really been my best, but I knew I hadn’t gone this mental to actually forget cleaning up myself.
But there it was, stashed in the corner. I was transfixed by the compact beacon of light. Abbey’s purple suitcase had made it from New York City to Sydney.
To be honest, I’d wondered earlier in the week what she was going to do about the ticket. I’d gotten all her voicemails and emails, but without a response I figured she’d cash it in or something. So this was quite a surprise.
I hadn’t been able to call her myself. I was completely blindsided by that brief snippet in the tabloid and in my entire life had never felt so betrayed. This was the woman I’d thought of several different proposals for, hoping she wasn’t in for that lame cliché stuff. I’d thought out the next several years of my life with her. To find out she was previously engaged was earth-shattering, and then to find she’d been seeing him was absolutely mind-blowing.
Was I a fool to believe that I’d somehow stumbled upon what all those ridiculous stories talked about, what I thought I would never find, let alone find so early? It wasn’t like I had been the kid whose goal was to get a job and raise a family, I’d been the type who wanted to get out and live before I had to be strapped down. But with Abbey, everything was just different. But maybe I was just a pawn in her game, maybe she was the type of person I had been; just out to have a good time.
I just stared at the suitcase, wondering where she was, why she had come and what she was doing. It was odd that she was nowhere to be found when she had clearly been there before. I walked around looking for a note and I found her in the bedroom, sound asleep in my bed.
From the position she was in, it looked as though she’d literally collapsed onto the mattress; but
there was a strange, faint smile on her face. Her brown hair flowed across the pillow, highlighting the gorgeous features on her face. I’d missed her face. Well, I’d missed everything about her. And now that she was here, in the midst of everything, all I wanted to do was stare at her.
I sat down in the chair across from the bed, feeling like my breath had gotten knocked out of me. Abbey loved surprises and this was a bloody good one. I silently thanked my tired mind that I hadn’t had the energy to stay out with the rest of the cast. I wondered what she’d do if I hadn’t come in until early morning. Would she still be waiting?
As I reached for the clock on the bedside table, I noticed a pad of paper with Abbey’s handwriting. The small swirley, yet almost illegible print was a Pro/Con list. I laughed quietly to myself as I read the last Con. I guessed that me finding her like this hadn’t been her original plan.
I slouched back in the plush chair, fighting back the urge to push back the hair that had fallen in front of her face. It hadn’t been an easy month for me. Most nights I found myself in my hotel room smoking like a chimney, or out with the cast wishing I was in my hotel room smoking like a chimney. The month left of filming loomed over me. I felt thrust into an alternate universe and wanted so desperately for things to go back to normal. If it didn’t, I was sure I’d have emphysema by late February.
I slipped off my sneakers, carefully setting them at the foot of the bed. Was it so wrong of me to want to forget all about Eric and just love her again? As quietly as I possibly could, I slid into the bed beside her, watching her eyes. I could still be angry with her, but watching her sleep was the single exception.
Her breath danced across my face, a sensation I could never get enough of. Abbey had to have come here for a reason and I was torn between hearing her out and kicking her out, but wanting to feel her skin warm against my own was swaying the decision.
She stirred slightly, exhaling soundly and murmuring something inaudible. I stretched out my hand and gently stroked the side of her face. I dunno how long it was that I laid there beside her, but my eyes were beginning to close. I glanced at the clock behind me: it was 12:16. I didn’t want to get up and possibly wake her, so I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed on the floor. As I faded into sleep, I could hear Abbey’s voice.
“Rob?” I felt her softly brush hair out of my eyes, her fingers lightly tracing the side of my face. A light peck on my lips and I instinctively opened my arms for her. “Rob.” Abbey was awake now; I however couldn’t tell whether or not I was dreaming.
“In the morning, alright love?”
And just like that, I wrapped my arms around her and held her close; like nothing had come between us, like we’d never been apart. If only things could be that simple in the daylight.
…
When I woke the next morning, muffling the alarm as quickly as I could, I was surprised to find Abbey still asleep. I studied her briefly, watching her chest rise and fall against mine, her breath tickling my skin.
I had to be at the set in two hours so I reluctantly got out of bed and made my way into the shower. Filming was going to be an absolute bore today knowing that Abbey was waiting in my room back at the hotel.
Abbey was bent over her suitcase when I stepped out of the shower. She had no idea I’d been standing behind her when she turned around abruptly, popping a stick of Trident into her mouth. The pack fell to the ground when her eyes met mine.
“Rob!” She gasped, running a hand through her hair. “Er, I uh, I knocked and you didn't answer, so I just let myself in..."
I didn’t know whether to be upset, or somehow get her into bed.
“Rob, I uh, I came here to…” I watched her fumble with the hem of her wrinkled t-shirt, eyes on the floor. I stepped closer and she looked up at me. “Please just listen to what I have to say. Then you can make me leave, please.” She looked so beautiful in her vulnerability.
“Alright.” I hadn’t said much, afraid that I would give my true feelings away. For show, I looked at the clock.
She walked over to the bed and sat down cross-legged, peering up at me with wide eyes. It took her a second to find her footing.
“Eric and I met when I was a junior in college—he was 25. We moved in together two years later and then he’d asked me to marry him.”
It took everything I had to digest this information indifferently, when I really wanted to punch this Eric bloke square in the jaw. I’d come second in the line of men wanting to marry Abbey and it broke my heart, to say the least.
“One day I just decided I didn’t want to marry him. I just woke up and realized he wasn’t the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.” She looked at me, folding her hands in her lap and taking a breath. “That was two years before you and I met.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about him?” It had been the burning question. “I was under the impression that we’d passed that line. I’ve told you absolutely everything—”
“I don’t know why I didn’t tell you, alright?” She interrupted loudly, though her volume instantly lowered. “I don’t know. It was stupid of me. I didn’t do it purposely—I just didn’t want to tell you at first, and then after a while it just seemed insignificant.”
“Why’d you bloody kiss him then?”
“I was in Starbucks—that day I emailed you about the Hawaii cake—and he cornered me into having lunch with him. He said he already had my cell number so he’d call me the next day.” Abbey took a breath, her shaky voice slowly steadying. “And when he didn’t call, I let it go thinking he’d forgotten about it. But then he called and set it up for November 20—Eric wouldn’t let me get out of it, and I tried.”
“So you went out, Abbey I’ve heard all of this. Get to the part as to why you kissed him.” My voice was pleading, as were my eyes I'm sure.
“He kissed me! Rob, I had nothing to do with that except for the fact that I was standing there.” True, I went into this wanting to forgive and forget but it was almost too much when she didn’t deny that his lips had been on hers. I looked toward the window, rubbing my temples. Abbey’s eyes began to water when she noticed my sudden disinterest.
“He said he wanted to give ‘us’ a second chance and I was shocked—I told him that I was seeing you. I was naïve to think that he wasn’t after something. Allie was right, but I insisted that he just wanted to make things right. I got up and left the restaurant and he followed, telling me I shouldn’t lie to myself. I told him I never wanted to see him again and he just kissed me.”
So the kiss was a simple mistake, I could see that, but it worried me that she felt she couldn't tell me about their engagement in the first place. Were there other secrets as well?
But then I realized that everything was in my hands, I could just forgive it and get my sense of balance back. And I did. I would be a bloody idiot not to.
“So how many days did you pack for?” I asked, slipping off the couch and onto the bed next to her. Abbey hastily wiped her cheeks, giving me a skeptical look.
“No doubt more than a day?” And then I saw what I’d been waiting for: Abbey’s smile. She collided with me, taking me out onto my back as she rolled on top of me. I steadied her waist with my hands.
“Thank you.” she whispered, kissing me tenderly. “I can’t even put into words how much I’ve missed you.”
“You and I both, love.” I grinned at her, pulling her down for another kiss.
It was slower, more fervent than the kiss before. Abbey straddled me, pinning my arms above my head and began trailing kisses from my lips down my neck. There was a new fire in her, more passion and I began to feel the anxiety that separation had placed on us float right out of the room. This pent-up sexual frustration was a big turn-on.
I rolled over on top of her, tangling my hands in her hair and kissing her with everything in me. As my fingers toyed with button on her jeans, Abbey grabbed my hands.
“You’re going to be late!” I groaned and buried my face into her neck.
“It can wait!” I moaned, my breathing heavy.
“No, you’re already half an hour late babe. Seriously, can’t they fire you for that?” I rolled onto my back and folded my arms behind my head.
“What time will you be back?” Abbey rested her head on my chest, tracing circles with her fingers.
“Who knows.” I kissed her forehead and stood up, glancing back at the lovely creature sitting Indian-style atop my unmade bed. “I’ll call you. I don’t think it’s going to be terribly late—maybe 10. But when I come back—”
“I’ll be waiting.” She sat up on her knees and pulled me down for a quick kiss. Bloody hell I missed that girl.

Abbey’s P.O.V.
Pure euphoria raced through my veins like a drug. It wasn’t just because Rob had nearly torn my clothes off with his teeth that morning (ha) and was about to take my breath away, no. It was because he was all I ever wanted. Ever. I couldn’t live without him, couldn’t breathe--now he knew that. And that was all I’d asked for