After Tonight

“Ella, babe, look at mom.” I watched patiently as Rob propped up Ella’s wobbling body. When we asked her what she wanted to do that Thursday night, she declared she wanted to go ice skating.
Rob and I had made it a tradition to go skating every year, so of course we happily obliged. Maybe it was to maybe it was to remember New York in the winter, maybe it was to commemorate the first time we’d been swarmed by paparazzi, or maybe it was just because we both just liked the fact that Rob had to hold onto me for dear life.
I snapped a quick picture—everyone teased me about my new affinity for picture taking. I blamed Ella. The second the flash went off, Ella’s feet gave out from under her. Rob reacted quickly, catching her before she crashed on to her back.
I glided toward them and helped Ella up. She busied herself brushing her jacket off as I pulled her hat back over her ears.
“Will you skate with me?” Her little fingers latched onto Rob’s pants as she tried to steady herself.
“You’ll have to hold his hand, Elle.” I got off of my knees, laughing. Ella, the newly toothless wonder grinned.
“He can’t skate.” Ella giggled, taking my hand.
“Not you too.” Rob turned around and feebly skated away.
“Daddy!” Ella squealed after him. “Wait! I wanna’ skate with you…”
Rob turned around and grinned; he teased her so much. When he crouched down to capture her in a hug, she crashed into him and he fell onto his bum. By the time I reached them they were both lying flat on their backs, Ella’s squeal of a giggle and Rob’s low chuckle.
“What am I going to do with you?” I laughed and held out my hands. Ella ignored them, pushing herself to her feet. Rob, on the other hand, grabbed onto both. As I pulled, I slipped and fell down beside him.
“Ellie, what are you we going to do with your mum?” Rob grinned at me. “She can’t even stay on her feet, my god.”
“Ooooh.” I mocked him and pushed his shoulder lightly.

Rob’s P.O.V.
Ella grabbed onto my pant leg and tried to keep herself upright. The two of us weren’t a good match for skating partners—we’d already fallen over one another numerous times. At one point Abbey skated over and socked me in the shoulder, telling me not to crush her child.
Ella sat on the bench, knocking the blades on her skates against the sides. After dodging her swinging feet, Abbey tackled the right skate. Ella rolled up her sleeves and proudly displayed her bruises—or as she put it her “boozes”. She tapped Abbey's arm and whispered something in her ear. I sat across from them, keeping track of Ella’s hat and gloves—which she’d tossed on the floor.
“We’ll see.” Abbey raised her eyebrows as Ella spoke softly. “Maybe on the way home. Do you want to ask him?” Ella made a face and sucked in her breath. Abbey looked up at me, smiling, and shook her head.
“Can we get hot chocolate?” Ella’s eyes were wide.
“Er…what’d your mum say?” This was always a trick question.
“She said yes…” Ella bounced on her toes.
“Did she now?” I smiled and Ella nodded profusely. “Well if she said it’s alright, then I don’t see why not…”
...
The next day Abbey went into work. There had been a huge order for some Thanksgiving party.
“Do you know how to make chocolate milk?” Ella hopped up on the bar stool Abbey kept by the kitchen counter. Her legs dangled wildly as she twirled her hair between her short fingers.
“I think I can handle it.” I leaned on my elbows beside her, watching her intently.
“Joel’s house has really delicious chocolate milk.” Her eyes were wide as she explained how Allie made this wondrous chocolate milk. She paused to take a deep breath and then continued on.
“Miss Allie, she mixes it with a really long spoon.” I fumbled around the silverware drawer until I found one.
“Like this?”
“Yes!” She shouted excitedly, like she just couldn’t believe we had a long spoon as well.
“Go on.” I resumed my position and Ella resumed her story.
“And then she’s got this powdery stuff…it’s in a…a tubey thing.”
“Will syrup do?” I pulled out the Hershey’s syrup.
“Oh no.”
“No?”
“No.” She looked appalled. Ah yes, definitely got that look from Abbey.
“Do we need to go get some?”
“Uh huh.”
“Alright.” I hoisted her off the stool and held her in my arms. Her little arms wrapped around my neck. “Go get your coat.” Ella smiled and kissed my cheek.
She’d made it down the front steps with her shoelaces undone. I waited for her to tie them—we’d had too many incidents involving untied laces. Ella looked up at me, blowing small puffs of air at a chunk of curly hair that had fallen into her face. I brushed it back, my hand coming to rest on the side her face. Each moment I looked at her, I discovered something new. I could see Abbey in every expression, or myself. I memorized her face—each contour, every strand of hair. I could place every freckle, every mole. I could paint that face blindfolded and in the dark.
“Daddy.” Her voice was so small. “Dad. Can we go and see mom after?” Her blue eyes—my blue eyes—widened with anticipation. She loved going to Abbey at work. Ella placed her hand on her hip.
“You are your mother’s child.” I swooped her up into my arms and she crawled onto my back. Her light breath danced across my neck as she wrapped her arms around me and started to sing.
Ella loved to sing. Her favorites were anything by Van Morrison—which I might have had a hand in. She was convinced that he wrote “Brown-Eyed Girl” for Abbey and I didn’t argue. I thought back to the months I had sung to her inside Abbey’s stomach—I knew she was going to love music. Abbey was thrilled with this. Ella would make up songs for her and dance around the flat singing her heart out.
She found the chocolate powder within minutes of entering the corner store, the same store where Abbey and I had our first date. When we left, she was more excited about going to Faye’s than she was about the chocolate milk.
Grace was at the counter when we got there. She’d started a new job with some hotshot designer and usually spent the occasional free afternoon helping out Jo and Abbey. After giving Ella a quick kiss, she pushed her toward the kitchen door.
“Go ahead Ella.” She grinned. Ella had lost her first tooth a week ago; there was now a gaping hole where one of her front teeth should be. It was the first time Abbey and I had played the Tooth Fairy. Let’s just say that the next time will be smoother.
“Momma!” She shouted as she swung open the door. I heard a gasp from the kitchen and Abbey shouted Ella’s name with equal excitement.
“Did you walk here all by yourself?” Abbey had bent down on her knees, grabbing Ella for a kiss. A devious smile appeared on the little girl’s face and she nodded her head. “Are you sure there isn’t someone lurking around the corner? Tall? Funny voice perhaps?” A few months ago, Ella realized that I didn’t sound like her mother, her grandpa, her aunts or her uncles. She frequently pointed it out to me.
Ella shook her head once more before peaking around a shelf. “He’s here!”
Abbey laughed, standing on her toes to greet me with a kiss. I let my lips linger, unafraid of Ella seeing how much I loved her mother. Abbey’s eyes sparkled, her lips tasting faintly of frosting.
I picked Ella up and set her on the counter. She began to play with the mixing bowls and other utensils Abbey was working with.
“Keep your tongue out of it.” Abbey gave her a warning look. Ella nodded and merely kept stirring the contents, though once I saw her stick a finger in.
Abbey grabbed my hands, lacing her fingers through mine. Her brown eyes looked up at me and I felt a sudden rush coming from the pit of my stomach. We still hadn’t gotten married, something the press had been hounding me about for years. We both wanted it, but because we’d gone a little bit out of order, making it official just kept losing its priority. Still, she called me her husband and I called her my wife.
“So about her birthday…” Ella’s fifth birthday was on November 30th. “Something small?” Abbey had been all about “small” since her mother passed away.
“Of course.” I wrapped my arms around her shoulders as she busied herself writing a list of things that would have to be done. Ella had already started her own guest list, putting her name at the top.
. “So what are you guy’s doing?” Abbey smelled of sugar, and when she came home later that night our bed would smell just like her.
“We are making chocolate milk.” Ella dropped the spatula on the counter and picked up the grocery bag. “Miss Allie taught me.”
“Save some for me, alright?” Ella nodded happily.

Abbey’s P.O.V.
Rob and I lazily waited outside of the dance studio where Ella took lessons. She loved to dance. Pair that with her love of singing and I knew we had a little entertainer on our hands. I checked my cell for the time—the teacher always opened the blinds with ten minutes left of class.
“It’s not time yet.” Rob latched an arm around my waist and kissed my forehead. “I just checked.” I smiled up at him and nodded. He loved Wednesday nights.
Her winter recital was coming up and neither of us could contain our excitement. Grace currently had a red tutu in the works back her apartment—Ella had no idea. I smiled, picturing her face lighting up when she got to put it on.
“What are you thinking about?” Rob rested his forehead against mine, his eyes searching mine.
“A lot of things,” I replied casually, wrapping my arms around his waist. He hadn’t changed much over the years. That shock of hair was where it had always been and he rarely shaved his face. His blue eyes still shown brightly and he still liked to whisper dirty things into my ear. “You, for one.”
“Me?” He grinned. “What could you possibly be thinking about me?”
“And Ella.” I ignored his question and kissed him briefly on the lips.
“Of course.”
“And how I want to drop her off at someone’s house tonight so I can spend a little time with you…”
“Who should I call?”
The blinds suddenly opened, snapping the two of us out of current entanglement. We both peered through the window, going through the rows of little girls until we found our own. Ella wasn’t hard to find. She bounced up and down, her little body writhing with excitement as she ran up to the window.
“Don’t watch!” She shouted through the window. “Don’t watch you guys!” Rob and I each covered our eyes, trying not to laugh.
In her mind, the winter recital was supposed to be a secret. She’d sat us down one night and calmly explained that the surprise would be ruined if we watched her practice.
“Ella Pattinson!” The teacher beckoned for Ella to get back into her spot. Ella looked back at us, distress in her eyes, as she scurried back into formation.
Rob and I looked once more before turning around. After a quick phone call, Allie agreed to take Ella for the night. Allie’s little boy, Joel, and Ella got along really well together. He was just a year younger than her and we’d once joked about arranging a marriage. Well, only half-jokingly. Rob wanted her to be with a man he could trust. At this mention, Joel merely stuck his fingers in Ella’s grilled cheese.
“You promised you wouldn’t watch!” Both of our heads snapped at the familiar sound of Ella’s voice. She tossed her purple bag onto a chair and stuffed her sleeves in her winter jacket as Rob held it out for her. Once she’d managed to wiggle in, she sat on the ground and took her shoes off.
“Ellie, love, we didn’t watch.” Rob put her faded pink slippers in the bag. “I swear!” Ella stood up and took back the bag, looking absolutely disgusted with Rob and me.
“She gets that look from you, ya’ know.” Rob whispered in my ear as we followed Ella out the door.
Silently, Ella slipped between Rob and me. She grabbed our hands and leaned into my side.
“Was I good?”
“How would we know?” I asked her, stifling a smile. “We didn’t watch.”
“Oh…” She looked at the ground.
“But we would love to see it.” Rob chimed in quickly. “Will you show us at home?”
“Maybe…” Ella’s face was conflicted. “I guess, if you really want to see it.”
“Oh yes please!” I smiled at Rob, who was already smiling at me.
In her small voice, she began regaling us with the evening’s class and how Miss Kay said that ballerinas do not shout.