Tonight, Not Again

Rob had definitely come to my rescue the night before and I had to admit I was taken by surprise. He’d been an amazing help—I even noticed Adrienne watching curiously from the window a few times. At twelve, I started to doze and Rob suddenly appeared by my side with a steaming mug of coffee. When I finished writing my essay, he gladly volunteered to check to spelling errors. Tiny notes were scattered along the margins by the time he handed it back to me, but when I read them they actually made sense. I teased about his cramped handwriting, and I could have sworn he blushed,
When I woke up two hours before my ten o’clock alarm went off. Rob was still sound asleep beside me, his arm loosely draped across my stomach. I don’t think I’d ever been happier to see him. Snuggling closer to his chest, I pulled the sweatshirt I was still wearing around myself more tightly. It felt good like this. As if his nearly inanimate self agreed, Rob wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping that would be enough to take away the fluttering in my stomach. But when I opened them again, I only saw the sunlight bouncing through the window and onto Rob’s still frame.
It was getting ridiculous—these ludicrous feelings that would just show up whenever Rob came around…or sent me a text, or called, or was even brought up in casual conversation. While I would deny it to my wit’s end that I was falling for him, there was no harm in indulging myself when no one else was around. Right?

Carefully slipping out of his grasp, I propped myself up onto my elbow and proceeded to stare at him. That’s all.

Well, I pushed his hair back once but who’s really keeping score?

All of my friends told me to stop seeing him. I had yet to hear what my parents thought of the situation. And you know, maybe everyone was right. But they weren’t the ones that got to watch him when he slept.

And beside who said it wasn’t just a crush?

“Zoey.” Rob groaned and rolled over onto his back. I quickly dropped my hands and my head. “What…” he yawned. “What are you doing?”
“I don’t want to get up.” There was no sense in telling him the truth. It was what neither of us wanted and I didn’t want to fuck up what we already had.
Rob smiled, closing his eyes and drawing me a little closer. He smelled fantastic. I didn’t get it—someone who smoked like a forest fire should have no business smelling as good as he did. I relished in that little moment, before silently cursing at myself.
“What’s ten more minutes?” A heavy yawned left his lungs and he stretched slightly. “When’s class start, twelve?” I nodded.

…

Shaking my head, I tried to hold myself back from watching Rob walk to his car. He’d left in another rush, making sure I had the hard-copy of my essay ready to go. When I turned back toward the kitchen, Adrienne was scooping a spoonful of yogurt into her mouth.
“So you finished your paper, eh?” She smiled softly and nodded her head.
“Yeah.” I nodded curtly and side-stepped her. “Rob helped out a lot, you know, with all that political science stuff?”
“Zoey,” Adrienne sighed. “Look. Maybe he’s not as bad as I thought he was.”
“You think?”
“Hey. You’ve got to see where I’m coming from.” She folded her hands and began picking at her nails. “You just got out of this three-year relationship—you’re pissed your boyfriend cheated on you and you turn to the next thing with a penis! I mean really, what am I supposed to think? You’re intentionally putting yourself out there to get hurt—and with a guy that we know nothing about except every single woman in the world wants to fuck him. You think he’s not getting any?”
“But Adrienne—”
“Let me finish.” Adrienne’s eyes flashed angrily. “Now, I will admit that I haven’t given this guy a chance…and that wasn’t…entirely…fair. But I just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

I stared at Adrienne for what felt like eternity. Could I really blame her? Who’s to say that I wouldn’t have acted the same way if the roles were reversed?

“I get it.” I sighed and opened my arms. Adrienne smiled happily and we sort of did a little jog until we were hugging one another so tightly I could hardly breathe.
“I’m sorry—”
“No,” I held my hand over her mouth. “Don’t be. That’s why you’re my best friend.”
“Yeah…true. But I still should have just backed off. I mean, if it’s what you want?”
“I do…for now.”
“Alright. Then I’m fine with it—if you just want to have fun with Rob, so be it.” Adrienne smiled more brightly than I’d seen since the morning I woke up beside the Brit. “Just don’t fall in love with him, alright?”

Easier said than done.