Tonight, Not Again

“So I read about you in UsWeekly,” Carmen stated matter-of-factly as I scrubbed one of the blenders.
“Shut up.”
I’d yet to tell Rob how I felt about him, and it was putting me in a bit of a bad mood to say the least. We had a semi-date planned for the evening; just a movie, but I had been working on my speech all morning long.
“Ow,” Carmen smirked and swatted my shoulder. “Trouble in paradise?”
“It’s not like that,” I muttered. How many times would I have to utter that phrase before I believed it myself?
“Well, the guy in the apartment next to mine and Marnie’s is pretty cute—for your standards I imagine,” Carmen had been with the same girl for at least four years and was constantly trying to fix us up with their friends. I’d gotten several phone calls from very interested women.
“I appreciate it, Carm, really.” I smiled. “But I’ll pass. Rob and I are…fine.”
“Right.”
…
Rob answered the door, looking a little perturbed. His frazzled face and the way he rubbed his forehead made me wonder if I even wanted to step inside. I could hear the television and a few rounds of throaty laughter, which meant that I should have picked up two pizzas instead of the single large pepperoni and black olives pie in my hands.
“Look,” Rob stepped in front of the door. “Before you go inside, I’d like to apologize.”
“Wha—?” I craned my neck to see inside the door, but Rob was blocking the entire thing.
“You know my friend has been staying here?” Rob shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the ceiling. “Well I thought he was going out tonight, but he’s not. And he invited a friend over. This all just went down rather quickly and I really would like to deck them.”
“We could just go to my place…” My voice faded as I realized that wouldn’t be possible. “But Adrienne and Nick are there.”
It felt like high school all over again: living with your parents and nowhere to hang out with your boyfriend. A night with Rob’s friends wouldn’t be that terrible—if anything, it’d make a good story. I shrugged and watched Rob’s facial expressions shift from furious to annoyed to just plain beaten.
“Don’t worry about it.” What was one more day of not telling him? “The pizza is getting cold.”
It took a second for Rob to register what I had said. He just stared at me, lost in some haze.
“Alright,” He sighed and opened the door, allowing me to enter first. “You’re pretty great, you know?”
Was I? He thought I was great? I felt myself blush and cleared my throat. Hoping he hadn’t noticed, I smiled and bravely walked into his apartment.
If I would have known I was going to get a reception like the one I did, I would have just gone home. They stared at me. It was like they’d never seen a woman before. I walked through to the kitchen and tried to busy myself with the pizza, but I could still feel their leering eyes on me. Rob muttered to himself as he grabbed a slice.
“So are you going to introduce us to your lady friend?” The guy with shaggy blonde hair sat up on the couch.
“No,” Rob muttered and tore into his pizza.
“Zoey.” I offered a smile.
“Sam.” He extended his hand and let his eyes drop briefly to my chest.
“Colin.” The other guy jumped in. He had dark brown hair and was a little stockier than Rob. I didn’t like him at all. If Rob hadn’t been sitting next to me, I probably would have reached for the mini can of Pepper Spray that I carried in my purse.
Before I could spit out some sort of greeting, the two sat down across from me and grabbed some pizza. I picked off some olives, rethinking my decision as I chewed them thoroughly. Were the four of us going to watch a movie together? If the answer was yes, I would have at least liked ten feet of space around my person from all angles.
“I am starving!” Sam shouted through a mouthful of cheese. He didn’t seem too bad.
“You got quite the babe, Robbie. She brings you pizza? Solid.”
“As a rock,” Rob replied dryly. Sam just chuckled and rolled his eyes.
“So what do you do? Are you an actress?” Sam, the seemingly more respectful one, wiped some sauce from his chin.
“You’re pretty enough to be an actress,” Colin piped in, looking quite pleased with himself. Beside me, Rob curses bitterly under his breath.
“I think we’re going to go—” Rob stood up and walked over to the sink.
“No, don’t go! What movie are we watching?” Colin sure was friendly. I looked at Rob, who looked back with a desperate expression.
“I, er, I think I left something in your room…let us go get it.” I shook my head at my own stupidity but marched toward Rob’s room. He got my hint and followed closely.
“Yeah, I bet she forgot something.”
“You are an idiot.” Sam shook his head and went back to the couch.
Once we were behind closed doors, Rob and I both let out a relieved sigh. I figured tonight wasn’t going to go exactly as planned, but I didn’t think I was going to be subjected to Colin’s suave pick-up lines. Sam didn’t seem too bad, but Colin…wow.
“Do you think you can fit through here?” Rob stared at me anxiously from beside the window. He opened it, trying to measure the length and width.
“Probably not.” I collapsed onto his bed and rubbed my temples. “Colin is quite chatty.”
“I don’t know him,” Rob muttered and he fell into place beside me. “We do not know one another.”
“Really, Robbie?”
“Sod off.” I felt the slight tickle of Rob’s lips below my ear. “This is a disaster,” he whispered.
“It’s really not…that bad.”
“And we can’t even have sex.” He slid his hands underneath my shirt, tracing shapes on my stomach. I giggled. Honestly, not having sex wasn’t bothering at all. How could it be bothering me when Rob had taken on the jealous boyfriend stance the minute I appeared?
“We’ll figure something out,” I paused. “There’s always the Motel 6 around the corner…”
For a minute, Rob took me seriously. He dug into his pocket for his wallet and jumped off the bed. I shot up after him, not particularly keen on seedy motel sex.
“I wasn’t serious.” I called after him. “Hey!”
“We can go somewhere else—just to get out of here.” Rob was pressed flat against the floor, his head underneath his bed. “Where the fuck did I put it?” He grumbled.
“Rob, let’s just stay here.” I rolled onto the ground and poked my head underneath the opposite side of the bed. “Really.”
Staring at him, even underneath dust covered box-spring, sparked the confidence I’d initially arrived here with. Now was as good of time as any—and it was probably only time we’d be sans Sam and Colin.
“Alright,” he sighed, fingers clasping around the wallet I pushed his way, and stood up. “Sorry about this again.”
“It’s fine, honestly.” I stepped toward him, squeezing my fists as my sides. I had to do it. “Listen, Rob, I wanted to ask you something…”
“Yeah?”
The moment couldn’t have been more perfect for a declaration of love. It was entirely out of a romantic comedy. He looked adorable, his hair ruffled and his expression soft. I had no idea what I looked like, but I pretended it was something like Julia Roberts near the end of Pretty Woman. It was right at my finger tips, I could taste it, taste him. Everything was going to be good.
But then some jackass started pounding on the door. I stopped mid-sentence, faltering for a way out.
“What the hell is going on in there?” An undistinguishable voice boomed.
“Just a second,” Rob shouted back, eyes completely unwavering from mine. “What is it, Zoey?”
He looked so concerned, furrowing his brow and stepping a little closer.
“Can I eat the last piece of pizza?” I could tell it was Sam this time.
“Eat the bloody pizza, Sam. I don’t care.” Rob’s hands were on my arms, squaring me off as if I was going to topple over.
I panicked. My mouth was dry and I just stared from Rob to the door, eyes wide. I couldn’t do this with an audience.
“I’ll ask you later.” The words could barely make it out of my mouth. “Let’s go watch a movie.”
“What?”
Rob trailed behind me as I walked back into the living room. Both Sam and Colin had to jump out of the way to keep from getting smacked in the face with door, but I didn’t care. Quietly, I put the pizza box in the kitchen and waited for Rob to put the movie in.
Sam and Colin took the couch, which did not surprise either Rob or myself. I stretched out on the floor and Rob followed suit behind me. He snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me against his chest.
“Are you alright?” He brushed back my hair and kissed my neck.
“Of course.” Inside, I was doing cartwheels for managing to keep my voice steady.
“You sure?”
“I’m just a little tired.”
“Feel free to fall asleep,” he whispered. “I’m an excellent pillow.”
This made me smile. I could have stayed that way forever.
…
Hours later I woke up in Rob’s bed. He was snoring softly beside me. Though I was completely exhausted, I couldn’t fall back asleep. At what point I’d fallen asleep during the movie, I wasn’t sure but Rob was right—he made a pretty great pillow.
A cell phone beeped on the dresser but I ignored it. I figured it was only mine, and I had more important things to concentrate on.
Rob was such a hard sleeper, he hardly moved. On the other hand, I tossed and turned all night long. But with him, I always woke up in the same position I’d started in.
And Rob would never be bothered by the light show and incessant beeping coming from my cell phone. I tried to slip out of his grasp as softly as I could; he looked too cute to wake up.
I only realized the cell phone wasn’t mine when I picked it up. Regardless, I still held on to it tightly. The most recent text message was from somebody named Kate.

When am I going to see you again?

Kristen, Nikki and Emilie also were desperately trying to get in touch with Rob. The phone fell to the floor as I fumbled with it. What was I thinking? I wasn’t meant to read it, I wasn’t meant to know about it. It was Rob’s phone, not mine.
What was Kate’s message supposed to mean? He hardly looked interested in her at the party, but things could have changed. I knew I shouldn’t have been as disappointed as I felt, but I couldn’t help it. We had set ground rules to this thing, but it was so hard for me to believe that everything that was happening between meant nothing to him. Trying to play it off was going to take everything in me. I thought there was something else there, I felt it. Obviously, he didn’t.
Before I climbed back into bed, I stood against the wall with my head in my hands. If I would have told him, everything would have been lost.
As I laid my head back onto the pillow, ready to escape into sleep, Rob shifted beside me, unconsciously gathering me back into his arms. My eyes were fixed on the ceiling. Each touch hurt a little more.