Far From Over: A Billie Joe Story

"You didn't take the coward's way out-" Tysen tries telling me, but I interrupt.

"Yes, Tysen, I did," I say. "I put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger, not caring about anything or anybody."

"You wrote letters to everyone. You had to have cared about what you were doing." I shake my head.

"I wouldn't have done it-"

"Ellie, listen to me," he says. "Everyone understands why you did it. Yeah, it's been hell trying to live without you, but I know that, to you, it was the right thing to do."

"But I hurt so many people," I whisper. "Even Billie-"

"He's just pissed he doesn't have anyone to fuck anymore." I look back at him with a slight glare.

"I was... am his daughter. His flesh and blood. Mike and Tre can't look at him the same because of what I did."

"It's his fault they're not as close anymore!"

"But they lost the same thing Billie did," I say calmly. "I came back to clear everything up."

"Then can I ask you something if you came back to clear everything up?" I nod. A pained look flashes in his eyes. "What was going through your head right before you pulled the trigger?" I stare at him for a few seconds, not sure how to answer that.

"Why do you want to know that?"

"I need to know. That's all I've been wondering for the past week." I wait a few seconds before silently sighing.

"I was remembering every time Billie raped me." His eyes lock on mine as he thinks about that for a few seconds.

"I should've stayed home that night," he murmured, letting his head fall back against the sofa's head rest.

"Tysen, don't start blaming yourself," I say quietly.

"But fi I stayed here-"

"Stop!" I take a few deep breaths to calm myself down again. "It's not your fault, all right? So don't start that shit." He looks down but tightens his arms that are still around my waist.

"I'm sorry, babe," he says softly. "I just know it wouldn't have happened if I stayed here."

"Yes, it would've. He was thinking about it days before it happened." He looks back up at me.

"How do you know that?"

"I was told a lot of stuff in In-Between that I would have never figured out if I stayed here. It dominated his mind for a good few weeks before that night."

"But I gave him the opportunity-"

"Tysen, I swear to God if you don't shut up right now I will seriously-" He turns me around and kisses me on the lips, so I stop talking instantly. He pulls away a couple seconds later.

"What were you saying," he asks with a slight smirk on his face. I smile a little and rest my head on his chest.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." Billie walks in with his hands in his pockets, but I can feel his tenseness.

"What do you want," Tysen questions, sounding annoyed. Billie keeps his eyes on mine.

"Robbie has to come over here. He needs to see you."