Far From Over: A Billie Joe Story

I walk downstairs with Robbie and see Tysen sitting at the table with Billie. There's the faintest pink mark on his neck from Robbie's hand.

"Ellie, I-" I cut Billie off.

"Shut up," I say. I look at Tysen. "Do you wanna stay here with Robbie until I... leave?" He glances at Billie.

"Of course." I nod once and sit down. Robbie does the same. No one says anything for a short while until Ty clears his throat.

"El?" I look at him. "What has to be done for you to move on?" I stare at him for a couple seconds.

"Honestly, I'm not sure."

"Christian is saying you just have to get to the point where you can accept everything," Billie speaks up.

"Which will be never," I say. As much as I know Christian wants me to come back.

I love Christian. I really do. But nowhere near as much as Tysen. How could I not love them both, they've helped me through so much. Tysen took care of me for pretty much veerything and Christian kept the Charges from sending me to Hell without giving me a chance. No one has ever gotten that bad up there. I tried to behave but it was like every step I took was a new memory that would haunt me. Christian is alot like Tysen, though. Even in looks, they look alot alike. Not the exact same, of course.

"What will happen when you go back," Robbie asks.

"I get an evaluation," I explain. "They'll be able to tell if I'm ready."

"Why are you this way," Billie asks. "So unhumanly graceful and all?"

"Just what happens. My wounds don't show, either. And I can't cry."

"Why the dress," Tysen questions. I see Billie cringe a little because he remembers my answer when he asked me the same thing.

"Honestly, I don't know. Very funeral-like, I guess. Everything there is white; the walls, beds, floors. Except clothing. That's all black. Everyone looks like walking corpses."

"You said they use stuff to put you to sleep," Billie says.

"Sedatives. Just like here, excpet much stronger."

"No TV," Tysen asks. I smile a little. Of all things for him to ask.

"No, Tysen. No TV or even music. We make our own."

"What do you mean?"

"Singing. That's another thing. We're just granted with angel-like voices."

"You already had one," Robbie says. My grin grows a little.

"Thanks, Rob." I sigh. "Our only entertainment is either that, watching freak-outs, or talking with the others which is actually rare."

"What about Christian? Don't you talk to him alot," Billie inquires. I wouldn't surprised if Chris is telling Billie to ask me all this to hear my answer.

"I wouldn't say alot," I murmur.

"What's the wrost thing you've done up there," Tysen asks quietly, staring at the table as he waits for my response.

"You really don't want to know-"

"Yeah, we do," Robbie interrupts. I cross my arms over my chest.

"I slit my wrist open and wrote 'it never ends' on the wall before they could sedate me. They never washed it off, though."

"Why not," Billie asks. The other two men have nothing to say.

"I don't know. Besides the white, the only colour anywhere is red because of all the times someone has drawn blood. Mainly me. I mean it's practically an insane asylum for dead people." Tysen gets up and storms upstairs. Me being dead is obviously still alot for him to take in. I stand up and walk after him. The door to my room was still open but he was sitting on my bed with his head in his hands. I go in and shut the door behind me. He jumps because he didn't hear me walk in.

"Baby," I whisper, sitting next to him and rubbing his back. "I'm so sorry."

"Saying sorry won't bring you back for good, El," he says, obvious he's crying.

"I know, but..." I couldn't finish. He meets my gaze with his glassy, bloodshot eyes.

"Please don't go back."

My heart shattered all over again.