‹ Prequel: Letters From Ellie
Status: Getting there.
Far From Over: A Billie Joe Story
Session 1
"I don't know," I whisper, staring at the floor.
"But you knew what you were doing," Tre accuses. I glance at the clock and stand up.
"We'll be here when you get back," Mike says quietly. I nod and walk out to the driveway. I get back in my car and drive to Susan's office.
Susan is my therapist. She was the one that decided Ellie and I should've split up a few years ago. I have cried so many times in her office, especially after El moved out, that she kept a special box of tissues for me. She knows I'd give anything to take back what I did to my daughter.
I walk into the waiting room and see her sitting in a chair. She smiles and silently walks back to the "talking room". That's what Ellie used to call it. I follow her and sit in the chair I always sit in, and glance at El's old chair. I swallow back arriving tears.
"Billie, she's gone," she murmurs, pulling out the manila folder I used to share with Ellie. Her name is still on it.
"I know," I say. "It's like she's invisible, though."
"What have you done with her room?" I shrug.
"Nothing yet." She writes something down.
"Do you plan on getting rid of any of her stuff?" I shake my head.
"I'll just... pack it away. So I still have it." She nods.
"How long until you plan on doing that?" I look down, thinking about it for a few seconds.
"Maybe a month or so."
"Why so long?"
"I want to look through some of her notebooks. I might keep some of them out instead of get rid of them. Who knows? She always wanted to be an author..."
"What do you plan on doing that could make her an author even now that she's gone?" I laugh internally. Susan always avoided saying that Ellie was dead. She always used "gone" or "passed away".
"Her Christian and Gloria notebook could help people with the same demons as she had."
"Why do you say demons?" I look down, thinking about what I said. "What did you mean?"
"Shadows."
"That's not helping, Billie."
"Her memories of what happened haunted her until the second she died. There could be another girl out there going through the same exact thing as Ellie. If I published that book, I could help her."
"Is this your guilt talking or your regret?" I stare at her, not knowing what to say. She waits patiently until I run my hand through my black hair.
"My pain."
"But you knew what you were doing," Tre accuses. I glance at the clock and stand up.
"We'll be here when you get back," Mike says quietly. I nod and walk out to the driveway. I get back in my car and drive to Susan's office.
Susan is my therapist. She was the one that decided Ellie and I should've split up a few years ago. I have cried so many times in her office, especially after El moved out, that she kept a special box of tissues for me. She knows I'd give anything to take back what I did to my daughter.
I walk into the waiting room and see her sitting in a chair. She smiles and silently walks back to the "talking room". That's what Ellie used to call it. I follow her and sit in the chair I always sit in, and glance at El's old chair. I swallow back arriving tears.
"Billie, she's gone," she murmurs, pulling out the manila folder I used to share with Ellie. Her name is still on it.
"I know," I say. "It's like she's invisible, though."
"What have you done with her room?" I shrug.
"Nothing yet." She writes something down.
"Do you plan on getting rid of any of her stuff?" I shake my head.
"I'll just... pack it away. So I still have it." She nods.
"How long until you plan on doing that?" I look down, thinking about it for a few seconds.
"Maybe a month or so."
"Why so long?"
"I want to look through some of her notebooks. I might keep some of them out instead of get rid of them. Who knows? She always wanted to be an author..."
"What do you plan on doing that could make her an author even now that she's gone?" I laugh internally. Susan always avoided saying that Ellie was dead. She always used "gone" or "passed away".
"Her Christian and Gloria notebook could help people with the same demons as she had."
"Why do you say demons?" I look down, thinking about what I said. "What did you mean?"
"Shadows."
"That's not helping, Billie."
"Her memories of what happened haunted her until the second she died. There could be another girl out there going through the same exact thing as Ellie. If I published that book, I could help her."
"Is this your guilt talking or your regret?" I stare at her, not knowing what to say. She waits patiently until I run my hand through my black hair.
"My pain."
♠ ♠ ♠
Comment, my lovely readers :)<3 - Katelyn