Freak Me Out

On Monday when Frank doesn’t come to lunch I get a little scared. Had someone seen us kissing? Was he in trouble because of me? I try asking Dustin after my shift was over, but he has no idea. Miss Sarah, of course, isn’t any help either.

“I’m sorry, Gerard, I just can’t give out that information. It’s private.”

“Well what can you tell me?” I ask, desperate. “Is he in the building? Will I see him again?”

She looks at me oddly, probably wondering why one patient in particular was so special to me. But then, maybe they all knew exactly why. Maybe that’s why he was gone. “He’s in the building, I know that much. As for if you’ll see him again… I wish I knew.” She looks sad. “I’m really sorry, Gerard.” Her eyes are sincere.

I get in the car, defeated, at 7:25. Mom is pissed. “What the hell took you so long?”

“I’m worried about one of my friends,” I say, and immediately regret it.

She snorts. “I knew you’d make friends with all the psychos in there. They should probably free up a room for you.” I ignore this, and the rest of the ride is silent. When we get home, I talk to Mikey about it. I’d gone on for more than a half hour about how great Frank was and how worried I was about him before I realize Mikey wasn’t speaking at all.

“Mikes, what’s wrong?” I ask, and he shrugs. “Come on, tell me.”

He sighs. “Well, you’re never home anymore,” he starts. “I kind of miss you. The house is empty all the time. And… Gerard, I’m worried about you.” This catches me off guard. “People are in there for a reason, no matter how normal they may seem. I don’t want him to hurt you.”

“Do you mean like physically?” I laugh at the idea; Frank was a foot shorter than me. Mikey shoots me a dirty look.

“No, I mean emotionally.”

I roll my eyes. “I can handle myself, I think.”

He raises his hands up. “Fine. Okay.”

“And Mikes… I’m sorry I’ve had to leave you alone so much lately. When I’m done with my community service, I swear we’ll hang out more.” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, a chill goes down my spine. I only had two weeks of community service left. What if I didn’t see Frank again before my time was up? What if I never found out what happened to him?

Worst of all: what if I never saw him again? My face twists up in pain. Mikey sighs, reading my mind like he always did.

“Don’t worry, Gerard, things will work out how they’re supposed to.”

No Frank on Tuesday, either. Nor did I see him on Wednesday. By Thursday, my hopes were pretty much dashed. If I didn’t see him on Friday at group… I’d snap.

I clean the toilets miserably, pouring Lysol into each of the bowls as Janet had instructed me to. This was, to Natchaug’s credit, one of the most pristine public bathrooms I’d ever seen. Next I move on to the shower room.

As I walk in, I hear one of the showers going. I pause. The last four times I’d done this, no one had been using any of the showers. Did I leave? Or just go about my business? I hear hushed voices, and curiosity gets the best of me.

I walk into the main room, where all of the showerheads are. One is on. Below it is Frank and a man I’d never seen before. Frank is bare save for a pair of boxers, while the man is clothed. They hadn’t seen me, and I quickly back around a corner so they can’t see me. Carefully, I peek out at them.

The man is removing a red cloth from Frank’s right forearm. It covers him from the wrist to the inside of his elbow. As he unwraps it, I realize with horror that it’s gauze, and it was red because it was bloody. Finally, the final layer is removed and I get a good look at his arm. It’s mutilated, thirty gashes etched deeply into his skin. The flesh is pink and raw, and looked like it was getting infected. I nearly throw up when I see how many times he’d cut himself.

“Frank,” I call out, and his head jerks around to look at me. His eyes are horrified.

The man moves towards me quickly, blocking Frank from view. “You can’t be in here now,” he says sternly, and I back away.

“I’m sorry,” I murmur. “I just…”

“You just nothing. Get out.” I do.

Frank doesn’t come to group on Friday.