Adrenaline Rush

There's something about being afraid that thrills me. The sudden adrenaline that shoots through me when I'm scared. The way my heart beats through my chest as fast as it could possibly go. I love being afraid and there's one thing I'm not afraid to face ... fear.

I could feel the adrenaline surfacing my body as I took the few steps that would soon end and leave me flying through the air. So many people had died jumping off this same cliff but I didn't care. I was scared; scared as hell, actually but that never stopped me from doing stuff like this before and I highly doubted that it ever would. I am an addict and being afraid is my addiction.

I was so high up and I could feel the rush taking over; the exhilaration and fear building up. I stood there before taking the last step and savored the feeling I had inside me right now. This was the moment where the adrenaline was at it's best and I loved standing there in the night with the wind blowing fiercely through my hair. This was it, my favourite part; the danger. I took the last step and was suddenly falling through the air.

I could see why people died jumping off this cliff. I had been falling for a few seconds now and I wasn't even half way. People died because they couldn't take the fear, because they thought they could handle something that not a lot of people can. They're amateurs, they jumped to prove themselves to other people. All the people who ever survived jumping off this cliff were the people who loved the rush and jumped trying to get it.

I smiled just before I hit the water and let myself stay under for a bit letting the moment last. I wasn't just a cliff jumper though; I have many different ways of facing fear and this is just one of them. I was about to rise back to the surface but I felt an arm wrap around my waist and hoist me up. I was soon on the shore, lying on my back and facing the sky.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked meeting a pair of chocolate brown eyes. I had the urge to punch him in the face and watch him bleed. Some adrenaline rushes are better than others and although this one wouldn't be out of fear I knew that it would be worth it.

"You're okay? How can you be okay, you just," He paused before continuing, "You just tried to kill yourself," I could feel the laughter bubbling up inside me and it only took a second before I started in hysterics.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself," I said standing up and beginning to walk away. I started up the pathway to my car, thinking about the rush I just had. I loved the way the world had so many different things in it that could make you feel this way.

"Why'd you jump then?" The guy whom I was still pissed at said getting into step beside me. I ignored the fact that we were both soaked and shrugged walking to my car. He continued walking beside me and so I walked quicker until I reached my vehicle and got in.

"If you don't mind I need to go home so unless you want to get hit, you should probably move," I said poking my head out of my side window at the annoyance standing in front of my jeep.

"Sorry," He said raising his hands in defense, "Just making sure you're all right," I attempted a fake smile and then poked my head back inside my jeep before putting the keys in the ignition. The guy had moved and so I didn't hesitate to slam on the gas and begin my drive home.

The whole way home I thought about what I had just experienced. I had hiked hours just to get to the top of the cliff and was back on normal leveled ground in a matter of seconds, but it was all worth it.

I don't believe in love, but does it make sense when I say that I'm in love with adrenaline and fear? Like I said it's more of an addiction, but you've got to like something pretty much with everything you have to become addicted to it.

I couldn't tell you when this whole adrenaline rush began because truth be told I don't even remember. For as long as I can recall I've loved the feeling of fear. For all I know I was born this crazy adrenaline junky. When I was younger I slit my wrists just to feel the rush of the blade connecting with my skin. I remember my heart racing and my skin on fire and all I wanted was another cut. I still look at the scars today and smile as I remember the feeling. I stopped doing it though, for my parents sake. I freaked them out and that was probably around the time when I realized that I was different from everybody else. They can't handle fear and so I face it alone.

I pulled into my driveway and turned off the jeep making sure to lock it up behind me as I got out and walked to my front door. I breathed in the scent of cold leftovers and then stepped into my house. I was a little over my curfew and I knew that my parents were going to have a fit but I didn't really care. Driving home had taken longer than I thought, I hadn't realized that it had taken 30 minutes to get to the cliff and then 40 to drive back because I wanted to think a little bit more.

"Where have you been, Joey?" My mom said walking over to the doorway when she realized I was home. I kicked off my shoes and shrugged, walking over to the kitchen to grab an apple. I missed dinner tonight but I knew that I would just eat a really big breakfast to make up for it. "Joanna Liane Partridge!"

"No where, mom; Don't worry about it," I said, now walking over to the stairs so that I could get to my room. The thing with my mom was that she knew what I liked to do for fun, she just didn't know what to say to me when I got through the door.

It's twelve, you're an hour late," She said finally following me to the stairs. I made eye contact with her sensing her worries and then kissed her on the cheek before walking up to my room.

"I was at a friend's and we lost track of time; goodnight," I shouted down behind me, well aware that my dad was in bed asleep and completely blank about everything in my life. I knew my mom could see right through my lies but she never said anything to me. She was too afraid to lose her daughter.