Gravity's Rainbow

“Did you get the…” my voice went down in volume a fair amount. “Photos?” I could hear Zack laughing on the other end of the phone line.

“Yeah, I got them last night.” I breathed a sigh of relief – though I had checked nearly three times to make sure I was texting them to Zack (and only Zack) I knew I wouldn’t feel completely reassured until he had said he had gotten them. “You look really good, Paise. Honestly.” I blushed, even though as I saw alone in my dorm, he had no way of knowing. “I liked the leopard print bra the best.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever owned a bra with an animal print on it,” I muttered scratching my neck with my free hand.

“Well, you look really good in it. Hopefully I can see it in person soon.” There was a pause in the conversation before he asked, “What’re you doing tonight?”

“I’m not sure,” I replied, running a hand through my dark brown bangs. “Mary invited me to a party tonight, but I don’t know if I’m –“

“Go!” Zack encouraged, and I sighed. “Why not? Hasn’t she invited you to like… nine different parties? She obviously wants you to go, and I do, too. All you do is sit around your dorm room and study –“

“Because I have no friends,” I mumbled, but he didn’t hear me. And if he did, he didn’t respond.

“—And never go out. If you want to meet people, parties are a sure fire way to do it.” I didn’t say anything back, instead just slumped further down in my bed. “Do it for me, please Paisley? Go out for an hour or two, and if you don’t have fun, I’ll never bother you to go out again.”

“I’m not going to enjoy myself,” I faintly said.

“How do you know if you don’t go out and see?”

“Fine!” I exclaimed with an exasperated sigh. “But I’m calling you the second I get back to tell you how miserable I was.”

“Fine,” he replied coolly. “I’ll want to hear all about it.”

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“Where’s this party again?” I said softly, pulling down the short dress Mary insisted I put on. She looked effortlessly pretty (in a way that I never knew the edgy girl could pull off) in her form-fitting dress and high heels. She couldn’t convince me to wear proper shoes, though, and adorning my feet were my green keds.

“A fraternity just down the block,” she responded, checking her phone for texts. I checked mine, too, so I wouldn’t feel left out, even though I knew that I wouldn’t have any. Much to my surprise, I did.

To: Paisley

have fun tonight!! stay safe and dont go too crazy. love, ur favorite person in the world :D

I smiled to myself, pocketing the phone after reading Zack’s message. We walked a little bit further, and when we reached the fraternity house it was clear that this was where the party was. I could see people dancing and mingling through the windows, and the noise could be heard from an incredibly far distance away. I stayed behind Mary as we walked up to the house, and with confidence and a bright smile, Mary let us both in.

Immediately, a cluster of girls came towards us – girls I instantly recognized as the girls that Mary hung out with, and the ones that had no interest in me. “I think I’m going to get something to drink!” I yelled over the music and chatter. Mary nodded, though I wasn’t sure if she actually heard me or not.

With a frown I began the walk to the table in the far corner where the drinks were. My hand moved over each bottle of alcohol, each one more foreign than the last. With shaking fingers I pulled out my cell phone.

To: Zack

whats something good to drink?

I took a step back farther into the corner, feeling my stomach tighten as a group of people began pouring themselves drinks. This wasn’t fun for me; it was just awkward and… disheartening. I felt like an outcast, like there was something socially wrong with me. I wanted to cry, I wanted to curl up in a ball and have my mom rub my back, but more than anything I wanted Zack.

“Hey there,” I heard a voice say, and I closed my eyes, hoping that it wasn’t directed at me. “Are you alright?” When I felt a large hand on my arm, I knew it was time to open my eyes and deal with the situation at hand.

“Yeah,” I replied, swallowing the lump in my throat. “I’m okay.”

“You sure?” He asked, and I nodded, getting a better look at his face. He had dark blue eyes and white-blonde hair, pale skin, a crooked nose, and thin pink lips. In one hand he had a red cup, and the other was still resting on my arm. With a grin, he set his cup down. “I know you!” He exclaimed suddenly, and I stepped back. “You’re in my public speaking class. Monday, Wednesday and Thursday mornings, right? You sit in the very back.” I nodded, not bothering to get a word in edgewise – I don’t think it would have been possible. “I’m not surprised I’ve never met you before, after all, there’s like seventy people in our lecture, and you never speak.” He stuck his hand out, inviting a handshake, which I warily reciprocated. “I’m Colton.”

“Paisley,” I replied softly. He grinned.

“You’re probably thirsty. I’ll have you know, I’m kind of like the unofficial bartender for my fraternity.” I watched as he turned towards the table and began mixing some liquids, and I took this as an opportunity to check my phone.

To: Paisley

start with a cup filled ¾ with coke, and the rest with vodka. its not that bad, i promise.

“Here, it’s coke and vodka. Easy stuff – you look like you don’t drink that often.” I shrugged as I took a small sip. Both he and Zack were right, it didn’t taste good, but it didn’t taste bad, either.

“So, you’re in this fraternity?” I asked, hoping to make small conversation. Colton nodded.

“Yeah, but I’m graduating this year, so I just want to have a good time with my friends before it’s all over.” I nodded, trying to understand what he wanted, but in the end I wasn’t able to.

“What’re you majoring in?”

“Communications. With a minor in music theory.” I chuckled.

“Interesting choices.” I watched him scratch the back of his neck with his hand – the same way I did when I was nervous – as I took a drink from my cup. “I’ve actually, uh, got to go back to my dorm,” I began, excusing myself from the party. “I just remembered I promised I’d call my mom tonight.”

Colton just smiled. “Alright. It was really nice meeting you, Paisley.”

“You too.”

“Maybe I’ll see you around?” I nodded, and he smiled again. Without speaking, he showed me to the door and held it open for me. While I had only been at the party for half an hour, at most, the sky already seemed darker.

Instead of walking back to my dorm, I made a beeline for the nearest diner, knowing that Zack would be angry with me if I called him too soon.