Chequered Nettle

It was a mistake. A mistake to believe that it mattered what I did in those auditions. It was so obvious to me now. They never meant to choose me. For some reason they had gone out of their way to put me in a venerable position to humiliate me. That all they ever wanted to do. Use others as their stepping stones in whatever they hoped to accomplish.

The same applied to everyone of them. Call me cynical, but that's exactly what they did. They didn't deserve any of my time, yet once again, I gave it to them. As much as I promised myself I would never allow myself to by used by them, I am here reliving the past. They were the evil ones for having such a power.

I looked down at the paper in my hand. It was the number Ira had given that day I first met him. They said they would call me, but I didn't own a phone. When I called him that day I used a pay phone that was just a short walk away from Delane. It was the only phone around that offered some kind of privacy since everyone in Delane just loved getting into each other's business. What that meant was, even if he did call me back, I would not answer.

The only way I would hear his call was if I miraculously happened to pass by at the exact moment the phone rang. There was only one way for us to get in contact. That was for me to go back to the pay phone and call him. After what they did to me I am sure I never would.

That audition, I was never meant to go. It was my mistake and for that I paid dearly. I allowed weakness to overpower me. That feeling was horrible. A job was not worth it. I refused to feel it ever again. I realize now that I was trying to live a dream that I left behind a long time ago. It was because of this reason that I refuse to call them back.

And so things remained the same.

Everyday I awoke before the rest of the world. In these early mornings the world always remained silent. Running down the road with the trees as my only thing constant reminder that I was still running past. At the gym, it was the bike after the elliptical but before kickboxing. Then back to Delane on the bus to take a shower.

For some reason, I couldn't sing anymore. Not even in the privacy of my own shower. Was it because I now saw that I had no future with it? It didn't matter. I had promised Sue I would become a nurse anyway.

With that in mind, I went to school. I attended all my regular schedule. Except the last slot. Orchestra. I found it so pointless now. So I took one of the drop applications from the main office before leaving. I was done with that now. I would have return my violin to the school the next day.

When I returned to Delane I was pleased to see both Terra and Nell on their hands and knees on the pavement outside holding spatulas in their hands. As punishment Sue put them on gum scrapping duty. Nell was lucky not to be fired since she was so new. Terra was banished from the graveyard shift. If she was even spotted creeping at night on the security cameras Sue vowed to fire her.

Since she was so busy with rebuilding the old stables she put me on guard duty. To make sure Terra didn't sneak away. After all the stunts she pulled I didn't think she would risk another strike. I deemed her not to be a flight risk so I didn't have to babysit her.

"Kara! You're here early." Terra greeted when she saw me. I smiled grimly remembering that I had to return my violin.

"Yeah." I agreed before retreating into Delane. I didn't feel up for a chat at the moment. I noticed, however, that Nell shot me a weird look before I went in. I ignored her.

There was nothing to do now. I didn't work until much later. As I entered the room I shared with Terra I wondered if going to such drastic measures was the right choice. Now I had nothing to do for three straight hours until my shift started. I looked around the room. The lounge looked clean enough. I made sure of that. Terra had a nasty habit of making a mess of things. Today it was decent so I had nothing to clean.

We had room 210, on the second floor of the oldest part of Delane. It was nothing spectacular but it at least had two beds and big enough walk in closet for me and Terra to share. There was also a small lounge with a couch and television with cable. The only window in our room as a large sliding door on the farthest end of the room facing the long driveway into Delane. Outside this glass door was a tiny balcony we hardly used.

There was one thing that I loved the most in this room. That was the bathroom. It had recently been remodeled so everything in there was brand new. It had expanded a bit into our closet but I held no complaints. It now had a shower with glass panes and a deep tub with jets. A small stall was built for the toilet. I could only hope Sue decided to remodel the rest of our room soon.

It was one of the larger rooms at in this part Delane. Overall, Sue had built even bigger rooms in adjacent buildings. The small bed and breakfast from before had morphed completely. Changed into something else, somewhere between what it was and where it was heading.

Thinking of how much Delane change forced me to think of how much I had changed too. What would I be doing if I had never come here? What kind of future would I have then? I fell asleep thinking of this, and it haunted me. Who would I have become?

In my dreams I was saw before me someone who looked like me. Only, not like me. Her eyes were calculating and she had an arrogant posture, like she knew where exactly she would move her body next. Then, like the snap of a whip she charged at me. Fierce and overpowering, she wrapped her hands around my neck; her sharp nails digging into my neck. Like magic the same wounds she inflicted on me appeared on her as well.

She opened her mouth and a blaring sound emanated in short bursts. Hearing this noise I jolted out of my deep slumber. I reached over the bed and hit the snooze button on the alarm. Terra always forgot to turn it off in the morning so it rang at six both times a day.

I had to work now. I would be early, but at least I wouldn't be bored in my room. I changed quickly and went down to the restaurant. When I arrived however, Leah told me that I wasn't needed. She went on to explain that more people were heading off to the diner since it wing Wednesday so that was where I was needed. I didn't complain. I hated working at the restaurant when there was no one there.

When I arrived at the diner it was packed with people. A lot of them were regulars but the majority were there for the wings. I went to the back and put on a uniform. It had hardly changed. A yellow shirt with dark red shorts. The only difference from a few years ago was addition of bright red suspenders and the removal of the feathers. The health inspector came down and deemed them a health hazard. I think everyone who ever had to wear them thanked him to death.

Ready to get to work, tied my shoelaces but was almost assaulted by someone in chicken suit. I pushed them off me then stared. Sue refused to compromise her chicken feathers. So now we had full on chicken suit. The new mascot of Delane.

When neither me or the chicken moved, it reached out, put both hands over my breasts and squeezed. I slapped her hands away knowing full well who this was now.

"Cut it out Terra. I swear, sometimes you can be such a lesbian." I said as I bent down and tied the last lace on my shoes. Terra began to laugh hysterically and removed the head of the suit.

"How'd you know it was me?" she laughed as she set the head aside. Terra dug through her locker and began chugging from her water bottle.

"It's pretty obvious." I said rolling my eyes. I stood up and Terra put her water bottle away. Together we headed of to the dining area; me to wait tables and her to be - well a mascot.

"Woo! Lets do this!" she shouted as we exited. Terra chose that exact moment to slap me on the ass. When I gave her a look she shouted again in excitement.

"Terra, you're just a sexual harassment case waiting to happen." I warned but she was off. Like her I wasted no time and getting right to it. Occasionally, I would glance over to the giant chicken in the room and saw it dancing ridiculously to the music. Then if she just so happened to be next to a waitress taking an order she would stand behind her mimic her in an over exaggerated way. earning laughs from the table.

It was like being the Delane chicken was the only job she couldn't mess up. Which made sense since all it involved was goofing off. It was like this job was made for her. Which it probably was since Sue didn't have the heart to fire her, or make me do it for her.

I continued taking orders and taking drinks to tables without a hitch. If someone's cup became half empty I had to refill it before they were out. I had to walk around making sure everyone was satisfied and made sure everyone got their food.

It wasn't long before I came across Nell. I wasn't sure of her schedule but I was sure she had a lot of shifts with Terra, thanks in part to me. Though I wasn't sure how well Terra would do with a trainee, I had trusted her before. That is until the stalking and disturbing of guests. Now they both had the same shifts by the force of punishment they shared.

"How are you liking working at the diner?" I asked her as I left when my shift ended.

"It's better than the graveyard shift." she commented quickly. I let out a short laugh. She was one of the few who had experienced the graveyard shift so early in their Delane career. "You know, for one of my so called superiors you sure don't have that many hours." She said so dismissively I almost didn't catch it.

Was that what that weird look was about? Did she notice that Sue had wanted me to train her, not Terra? I'm sure she didn't. Sue would never explicitly say anything like that. She would normally just send someone to a section and ask for reports every so often. So how would Nell know that it had to be me and not Terra? Unless she was one of rare people who read the entire papers they got from their job.

It didn't matter. She couldn't tell Sue on me. I'm sure I wouldn't be too much trouble but the trust I had worked so hard to build with Sue would be shattered. She wouldn't see me the same way once passed off something she had specifically asked me to do.

Why was I worrying? Sue trusted me more than she did Nell. And I had to remind Nell of this.

"For someone whose expendable, you sure don't have enough." I said those words as an ominous warning. If she didn't do as she was told, then she wouldn't have any more hours to work.

With that I left to my room and went to sleep. But even in my sleep I couldn't rest. It was the same dream as before. Only this time my doppelgänger stabbed me repeatedly with a violin bow and used the strings to strangle me.

I woke up the next day feeling tired. This day was the same as the last. A jog to the gym, the elliptical, the bike, kickboxing, then back to Delane. Then there was my shower which I always took before going to school.

My schedule remained the same. Except for that last class. I remembered to bring my violin. I would return it, leave and never come back. Mr. Smokler didn't even question me when I came by. He already knew that I had dropped his class online. There was nothing that could be done now. I just left my violin by his desk as he conducted a the first movement of Beethoven's fifth symphony. He was so wrapped up in the music I don't think he even noticed me until later.

I smiled at him. He was one of the few who I had a shred of respect for. I refused to say goodbye. This wasn't goodbye. It was more of a respite that I had to take. I'd see him again.

As I walked outside the music hall I couldn't help but stop look back. One day, I'd be back. As for now, I had other priorities. Other things to take care of first.

"Alice!" someone broke me out of my thoughts. A voice that instantly erected a wall to shield me from them. The fragile part of me retreated far behind this wall for protection and a fierce warrior took over, wanting nothing more to cause pain. "We tried calling you, but you never picked up." Ira said with a smile.

This fierceness that took over me begged to hit him across the face. To remove that pathetic smile from his face. "With good reason." I spat quickly before turning on my heel. I was done listening to him. His time was done.

Was he back for more? Did he expect to see me still weak and crying? Never. He actually had the gall to come looking for me now. So they could just sit there use me like they always did? Once again I felt that black heart from so long ago beat again. Very faintly at first. Thump, thump. Then faster and louder. I felt myself begin to fade.

"Wait!" he shouted placing a hand on my shoulder. I froze. Thump, thump. A deep seated anger rocked by body. My hands balled into fists as they prepared to strike.

"We want you for round two! You still have a chance."

Thick black chains erupted from the ground binding the hateful girl in place. They kept her frozen and prevented her attack. Slowly, they began to reel back yanking her back in to the pitch black nothingness from where she came. She disappeared leaving me alone.

"You still have a chance."