Chequered Nettle

"We don't even know who she is!" I could hear them argue in the corner of the room. The exchange was mainly between Seth, and Ira. Duke next to them but only offered short comments here and there.

"She's got a voice and thats all we need to know. Right Duke?" Ira said bringing the silent Duke into the conversation. Both of the debaters paused and stared at Duke for an answer. "Right?" Ira repeated.

"Right." Duke affirmed as if to convince himself as well. I wish I could just run over there and defend myself but I felt like I couldn't. Not with everything so up in the air. Another thing that kept me in place was Nathan standing between me and them.

He had a pleasant smile on his face and a gaze that seemed to be looking at some far away place. Both his hair and eyes were dark, but his hair didn't look like an artificial black. One that someone dyes that way. He had black hair too. He was originally a blond little boy, but he hid that fact like an affair.

"Ignore them," Nathan said. "Seth is afraid of the opposite sex cause his girl got his nuts in a vice. He'll never admit it though. Like the ninja turtles. They wear masks but its not like anyone's not gonna notice your a big fucking turtle."

I didn't say anything. I only stared at him going over his statement in my head. Never in my life had I gone to from being informed to complete nonsense that quickly. Or maybe he did have a point. I just didn't get it.

"It's settled then." Ira said coming over to us. "Alice, you're one of us now."

"Here are the rules." Seth cut in before anyone else could say anything. "Number one, we need your devotion. Meaning you're not going to skip out on a rehearsal without warning us first and try not to be late. Number two, we want your best, at all times. If you need any help call one of us for anything. We'll catch you up on what we're doing. Anything else?" Seth finished looking over at others.

"New rule." Duke cut in. "Alice is our band member before anything else. She's off limits to all of us." Duke said specifically looking at Ira who raised his hands up in defense. When no one else spoke. "Then, lets get started."

We walked out of the white room and headed downstairs. The mess that was their house was still the same as it was last time I was here. If anything, it had gone slightly worse. I was careful were I stepped until, one again we came to the red door. Beyond this door was the basement which was used as the rehearsal room, I figured.

Upon entering I noticed the table from before propped up on the wall now. In it's place was musical equipment scattered on the floor. Other than the mess of wires everywhere, this room was relatively clean. I could only figure that food was not allowed in this room, which would make sense with all the expensive equipment.

"Alice has a violin." Ira stated as if still trying to convince Seth of me. I knew it didn't matter what he thought, since it was Duke who seemed to have all the power in the group. It was his approval that I had to gain whole heartedly. "Right Alice?"

"You should totally bring it next time." Nathan said. "You can harmonize with my guitar."

"I used to have one." I said quietly remembering how sad it was when I returned it to the school. I still didn't regret that decision. Classical music didn't seem like the right path for me at the moment.

"It doesn't matter. She's doing vocal for us." Duke was quick to respond. Too quick for my taste. I'd just have to take the brunt of it. It didn't matter anyway, they were paying me. "Lets not waste any time." He was already standing off to the side with a bass guitar in his hands. For me to see him standing there holding a guitar so carefully in his hands perplexed me. He just didn't seem like the type. "Why don't you just watch for now, Alice, and pick up some pointers."

I didn't say anything but Ira, Nathan, and Seth went off to their spots as if they didn't know any better.

"How about some warm up first?" Duke suggested and most immediately after, the bass began. First starting off with a simple beat, easy to follow. Then Seth, on the drums, began hitting his bass drum to the same beat, giving it more depth.

Then, out of nowhere, Nathan began his own thing, with his guitar. Louder and harder than the rest. He played a complex series of sound, that mimicked the sounds of human speech. I knew then, that he was singing, using the guitar was the catalyst.

He was good. Nathan of all people with his random, nonsensical, words could play the guitar like an expert. Though it was unpleasant, I couldn't help but think of Luther who played the guitar so beautifully, yet hid such an ugly soul. If there could be one good thing said about Luther it would be that he would never deny he was a horrible person. Hell, he even liked telling others like it was. Others, they try to justify what they've done to make themselves look better. At least with Luther, you could always know you were being screwed over.

The music stopped all of the sudden. Anything that I was thinking about disappeared from my mind just as jarringly. Then it was just Ira singing very deep and unexpected. These boys, the music they produced, it didn't seem to match the people I had just met. If I had heard it on the radio, these people would be the last I would expect to play the part.

His voice and tone had caught me so off guard I didn't even notice when Seth's percussion had began. I only noticed now that he was playing it. He had integrated his sound so perfectly with Ira's voice. Then Ira stopped and Duke began signing next with his bass guitar.

Then everyone joined in an a melodic sound that was so hypnotic and I could just feel myself slowly integrating into this sound. Flawlessly executed, not a string pulled to soon, or a drum hit too late.

"Wait!" Nathan cut in as he stopped playing. Everyone did as he said and the music stopped. "I'm going to go get my strap." he said before bolting off up the stairs.

"So what do you think Alice?" Ira asked not long after Nathan had left. "Aren't I just awesome?" His arrogance, though annoying, was justified with his voice. It was fair to say that, to me at least, there wasn't a voice out there that sounded like his.

"Arrogant bastard. Just because you're in the front doesn't mean you're more important." Seth said as he stepped away from his drum set. There was no anger on his face, rather quite the opposite. He looked amused, as if expecting a rebuttal.

"I am the face of this band. Right?" Ira asked looking at me.

"Don't bring me into this." I said not wanted to appear as though I would choose one over the other. All these people, they hired me, and I'd do as they said. I didn't want to piss off one since they seemed to have a somewhat elaborate voting system in place.

"She totally does." Ira answered for me when I refused to press the matter further.

"Whatever man." Seth replied.

Ira and Seth continued their friendly banter. It eventually came down to proving who was gayer than the other. Typical men, making fun of gays. Having the right to make fun of gays must ingrained into any straight man's DNA it seemed.

This went of for about an hour. Still, Nathan didn't show up. I was in the basement with these guys making occasional short conversation waiting for the last guy to return. All the while, Duke was off in a corner with his guitar. He would pull a string, or test out a melody before writing it down on sheet of paper that was placed on a small desk.

All of the sudden, black memories came back in full color. He was like Duke too, back when he had started out. Writing with a guitar in one hand, and a pencil in another. Who long would it take for Duke to sell out too? To abuse those around him?

"Where exactly did Blu say he left his guitar strap?" Duke asked as he came to sit by us. I found myself building that wall, which had brought me protection so many times in the past. The chains beginning to break under pressure, ready to release a monster.

Things became tense. So tense, I could tell they could feel it in the air. I wondered briefly if they knew the source. But it couldn't attack. I couldn't let it take over. Not when these people offered so much. I tried my best to keep that monster bound in the heavy black chains, but it didn't seem to work. I focused only on repressing that thing, but I found it hard to breathe. I had to destroy. . .

Just then, the basement door jolted shut and Nathan came bouncing down the stairs. The air became clear again. In one hand he carried a bag of chips and in another he held a six pack of energy drinks.

"Where've you been?" Duke was the first to ask.

"I went to the store." Nathan replied as though it was the simplest thing in the world. All the while, I sat there having an internal battle with myself. They could never know. I took care of myself.

"You do know that you've been gone for about an hour and half?" Duke asked to reaffirm that Nathan did in fact have a general sense of time.

"I wanted some chips." Nathan defended himself by raising the hot fry bag close to his face.

"The store's just around the corner." Seth reminded.

"Yeah but they don't have spicy pizza fries there. So I went to the grocery store, and I saw some milk, but it was in the container that said chocolate milk and I was like 'how is that possible?'"

"White chocolate milk. . . " I found myself saying. When in my life would I ever think like that? How did he even know he was looking at the right thing? Maybe the milk was next to the chocolate milk and he thought it was it was chocolate milk, when really it was regular milk.

"I know right! It's chocolate milk, but it's white! Tripped me out for like a twenty minutes."

"So you were just standing there looking at the milk for twenty minutes?" Seth questioned. Nathan seemed to think about it. But only for a moment. And I wondered; what the hell exactly was my place in this whole exchange. So far, I had had very little to say, and I my shift at Delane would have to start soon.

"No! I walked away, but kept coming back. It's white chocolate milk!!" Nathan replied as if it was the only justification necessary. I glanced at the clock. Ten past two. My shift would start soon.

"Alright I'm done. I have to go." I said loud enough to make sure they heard me over their clamor. I didn't have to say it loudly though. They heard me well enough.

"We didn't get a chance to have you sing anything yet."

"Maybe next time. I got things to do now." I said as I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder. Maybe if I left fast enough, I they wouldn't have enough time to react. It's not like they needed me at the moment anyway.

"I thought we just established that you weren't going to skip on rehearsal?" Duke said in a snappy tone that though I did not enjoy, it didn't bother me. Hardly anything one of them ever said ever registered in my head long enough for me to care.

"Twelve to two o'clock. Thats what you said. Maybe you should have made sure you stuck to that time frame. Thats my rule." I left without really looking back. There was, however, no resentment as I left. I couldn't bring myself to hate these people. Stupidity was not something that most people could be blamed for or understood the reason for. Like a dog that runs around in circles without really knowing why.

I had to go work my shift so I made my way out fairly quickly. I stormed out with a swift pace, up out of the house, through the driveway, over the lawn, to the sidewalk then stopped. The bus stop was right across the street from his house. A stop just put in to accommodate disabled passengers. The best thing about it? It was free. If I pretended to walk with limp when I climbed up the bus driver couldn't say anything.

I knew it was wrong, but my shift would begin before I could get there if I took the regular bus. I tried to convince myself that what I was doing was right. And not just with the bus. I could only hope that no one would come after me. Not that they would. Why would they? When they're too stupid to grasp anyone outside of their own little world.

"You know having things to do isn't the same as standing around."

"I'm waiting for the bus you moron." I snapped, turning quickly to face the person who dared see me in this situation. I stared at Duke, my new boss. It was too late to take back my words, and I would never apologize to one of them.

"You don't look disabled." he said with a confused look on his face. I actually wondered what he would look like if he didn't have his hair longer than mine.

"I will when the bus pulls around the corner." I snapped again, unable to control it. I was like a child, caught with a cookie I shouldn't have taken. Now I felt the need to unnecessarily defend myself.

"I'll get you a cab." He said simply. I already knew these people had money. They were paying me. But he didn't have to flaunt his money around me. It was at loss. Things like that didn't impress me. If anything it made things worse. To think that anyone would ever fall for something as trivial as money. Though it did help out from time to time.

"Why? Do you think thats what someone like me wants? To be lavished by gifts and be blown away with testosterone fueled displays of wealth?" I ranted now lost in the need to justify my actions somehow. Out in the sun, his washed out hair almost glowed. His hair was nicer than mine! More reason to hate him. "No! I don't need any rescuing. And people like you shouldn't assume I do!"

"Uh." was all he managed to say before the bus stopped right in front of us. I didn't even notice it had pulled up.

"Now I have to go." I said as I falsely limped up the steps onto the bus. I took my seat and stared out the window. What was I doing?