Chequered Nettle

There were no lights in the streets. It was one that rare moments of the day when it's still dark but the city didn't seem to catch on that the night still lingers. They turned off the street lights expecting the sun to take their place. Taking everything in in one deep breath, I took one step and I was gone. One step, two step. I raced down the drive way. Three step, four step. I was going down the highway. The air seemed to be cleaner this early in the morning. I smiled at the night air that defiantly whipped at my face; refusing to accept that it's time was up.

I ran, the only sound that reached my ears was the steady sound of my breaths and my paced heart beat. It wasn't long before I entered the suburbs. I stopped and checked my pedometer at my waist to make sure I was on track. People were just getting up and busy husbands went to work with a newspaper under their arms and their wives waving goodbye to them at the door. There were kids already waiting for the bus to come and pick them up for school.

When I reached a certain part of the park, which I always seemed to somehow wander into, I stopped. I checked the pedometer one last time and smiled when I realized that I could stop with that exercise now. My legs felt like they were tightening. A common reaction, but not so excessive anymore. Running for an hour was just the first part of my exercise. The second part was me going to the gym for a two hour. Needless to say, I felt like collapsing every time, but I knew that if I wanted to stay fit, I would have to continue. Never again would I be over weight again.

At the gym, I spent thirty minutes on the elliptical, and on the bike before going to the arena for kickboxing because according to my self defense teacher; I was too good for just simple self defense. I wasn't as good as some of the others there yet, but I knew that if I ever ran into that asshole again I would be more than capable of punching him in the face instead of just a pathetic slap. That served as my inspiration.

Heading back to the bed and breakfast on foot seemed impossible each time. So like always, I took the bus. It left me right in front of the bed and breakfast's long driveway. Once inside, people were already bustling about working. These were the first shift people. I had other priorities I had to attend to. First, I needed to take a much needed shower.

As I so carefully lathered my hair with a shampoo with the sweet feeling of scalding water on my skin, and the freshening body wash, my walls slowly began to crumble in the absence of people. Taking a deep breath, I allowed myself to sing. "And goodness knows; the wicked's lives are lonely! Goodness knows; the wicked die alone!" I suddenly stopped mid breath. I remembered the rest of the girls telling me the night before how they could all hear me when I was in the shower. I didn't continue.

It was past eight when I got out of the shower. Before leaving the bathroom I put my hair in a pony tail to keep it from getting tangled. Outside, Terra was passed out in her room. Lately, she doesn't wake up till the afternoon. She started working the graveyard shift as a punishment for drinking. Sue didn't like it when her employees went out of line, so she had a handful with Terra. Working late kept Terra from partying.

I thought about waking up Terra, just for the fun of it, but decided I had to go to school instead. Messing with Terra would have to wait until I got back. Delane in the morning was always bustling with people. There were girls from the diner bringing up food to the guests in rooms, then there were the early guests who had their very own routines in the morning.

"Hey Kara!" Cristy came up to me when I passed the main hall. Cristy was normally worked the receptionist desk in the mornings. "Sue told me to tell you she wanted to talk to you." she informed me.

I paused. I guess I could go see Sue today, and just wait till the next bus. My class didn't start for two hours, but the bus schedule was so unreliable I had to make plans an hour early, just in case they were late. Better early than late is what my anatomy teacher always told us. Sue would have to wait.

"Like, now." Cristy said when I didn't move. I guess I had to risk being late, or risk my job. I only hoped Sue didn't take too long as I made my way to her office.

Sue's office was small. It used to be a huge closet before she remodeled it. In this office she kept a safe where she kept all the important documents of Delane and of her employees. When I saw her, she was leaning over some papers on her desk. When she saw me she motioned me over eagerly.

The papers turned out to be blueprints. With the success of the new rooms, I figured she planned on expanding some more. "These are the blueprints to the old stable out back." she told me. The old stable house was rundown, it would be very costly to repair and maintain. "I've been thinking of fixin' it up and puttin' some horses in it for the kids." she explained.

It would be good then. The kids of St. Clare's would love horses. I'm sure if she charged St. Clare's for the use of the stable it would pretty much pay itself in a few years. "I think it's a good idea." I told her. Sue was very nervous in the previous expansion, she needed to be constantly reassured that it was the smart thing to do, but I'm sure that wasn't the only reason she had called. "But was that all you needed me for?"

"Oh, no." she smiled finally focusing off the blueprints. She sat on the edge of her desk. "I want you to come straight here after school." she ordered, and I nodded. I really didn't need an explanation as to why. I owed so much to this woman, the least I could do was give her all my trust and faith. "There's a new girl comin'. She's taking over your old job at the diner." Sue explained regardless.

I visibly winced at those words. Poor girl was going to get the chicken girl job. She'd be a waitress, delivery girl, and if needed, a cook at the diner. She would basically be the mascot of the place who would fill in for missing co-workers. Though it wasn't a horrible job to be in since almost everyone always showed up. The pay was low, and the hours erratic.

"I want ya to 'er the ropes, ya know?" She finished, and I nodded. "Get then." she shooed me away as she returned to her blueprints. Sue was so busy nowadays. Though she tried to talk to us as much as she could, there was always something she had to do, or a mistake on an employee's part that she had to fix. Believe it or not, Sue hardly fired anyone. Terra used this as an opportunity to slack off, though the warning was still there.

As I left the room, I passed a man in a plaid blue shirt and a utility belt at his waist. He held some papers in his hands and I figured this man was a contractor. So Sue really was going to go through with the stable. I couldn't help but feel excited and a bit depressed at the same time. Excited because there would be horses at Delane, but depressed because I knew that someone would have to clean after them.

I walked out of the front, and waited for the bus all the way down the driveway of Delane. As I waited, I looked back at Delane like I did most days. Back in the day, Delane used to be a plantation and used to shelter wounded soldiers during the revolutionary war. Over time, as it passed from owner to owner, the mansion was expanded and remodeled, giving it the impressive size it had today. Sue took it upon herself to explain Delane's history when there was nothing to talk about. Her family had a very rich history in America. There was even a rumor among the staff that she was descended from Benjamin Franklin.

Delane had given so many people shelter in it's many years. More importantly, it gave people a home. Three years ago I never would have thought that Delane would be my home as well. Soon the bus came and I had to leave. I smiled knowing that I'd come home again.

Collage was nothing like high school. Here none of the teachers cared if you showed up or not because you had already payed for the class. They taught lectures not lessons and you were supposed to find all the answers in you book, alone. The teachers didn't come around asking their students to pay attention. If you didn't listen, you failed; simple as that. The students weren't much better.

There were no cliques, no peer pressure. Here the students had obviously spent their money on school and tired to get everything out of it, so no one would bother with saying 'hello' in an attempt to spark up a friendship. No, there were no friends in collage, just study buddies who helped you with the work. For them, high school was the time to socialize, collage was for work.

However, I did have some fun at collage by signing myself up for the school orchestra. It was my last class of the day and we practiced at the school theater. There was enough students to make up a full orchestra complete with string, brass, woodwind, and a percussion section. Just under 100 members with 5 separate instructors serving under one main teacher. In this huge orchestra, I proudly played the violin, first chair. We were a real orchestra will so many members. Sadly, in this case, it wasn't always a good thing.

Mr. Smokler, our main teacher, acting as our conductor for the moment, waved his baton and the music started with the woodwind section in the middle. Gentle and playful, the woodwind section lured me out of hiding. Eventually, the conductor motioned for the brass behind the woodwind. Strong and booming, the brass section normally dominated. This time they played fast and softly. Hearing this music, my black heart began to emerge glum and unguarded.

Suddenly, the conductor ordered for the percussion in the back. Like thunder they snapped through the whole orchestra. I placed my violin on my shoulder and I could feel all my emotions slowly drift away. The strings would soon begin. But that girl who so slowly emerged in my place was ready for it.

Trumpets flared, drums pounded, then like a lightning, the strings joined the orchestra. Leading the strings was the girl in fist chair, playing furiously quicker and much more elegantly than the others. The most of the other violinists in the string section had only just began playing at the start of the semester. They never thought they would have such deadly competition.

All together the music roared, filling the empty theater with beautiful sound. All around her, the music surrounded. It entered her body and filled her with the emotions of every individual musician. It echoed with in her making it's way to her very core. In this very deep secluded place, she could distinguish every single sound and where it came from.

In one booming sound, the music stopped. Only the string section was left all alone playing the ending notes of the composition. Then slowly, it faded into nothing. "That was good guys!" Mr. Smokler exclaimed setting the baton down on the podium. The hopeful musicians looked at each other happily. Only one person in a first chair remained unhappy. "I think we're about ready to. . . " He was cut off by a very loud scoff coming from the string section. "As always." Mr. Smokler sighed. "Kara has something to say." he raised his hand to her for her to stand.

First chair stood up from her seat, her violin in one hand, the bow in other. Her gaze was cold and distant. "You thought that was good?" she said with an amused smile. The five lower teachers gulped.

"Yes." Mr. Smokler stood firm behind his students. His first chair laughed before suddenly cutting herself off.

"You there!" she pointed at a boy in the string section - sixth chair of the cellos - with her bow. "You were late in the bridge." Then she flicked her bow to a girl in the percussion section. Her eyes widened at the coming attack. "You were playing too fast." Like the conductor with a violin bow instead of a baton, she selected her next target. "And you!" she pointed at another boy in the string section; violin fourth chair. "You were only pretending to play." she seethed. The boy looked down in shame.

"May I remind you Kara, that I am the instructor, and I will not have you harassing my students again." the conductor said. She opened her mouth again to respond but the conductor cut her off. "I think that's enough for today, everyone. You're all dismissed." he said waving a dismissive hand in the air. He and his lower teachers left ahead, talking about the piece.

Slowly, the students began to shuffle out. As a group of girls passed this cold girl, she heard one of them mutter, "What a bitch." With a bitter glare aimed in their direction she silenced them. Among the armatures, she was the best. She had practiced years longer than most experienced. She had reason to be arrogant. Yet she had trouble connecting with the rest of her orchestra members. She played best alone, the others only held her back.

Once the stage was empty she moved from her spot in first chair to the center stage where the light shone brightest. There was no one in the audience and she still had a good half hour before she would have to leave to Delane. She decided to spend some time alone with her violin.

Gently, she rested her instrument between her cheek and her shoulder. With even greater grace she brought the bow to the stings and shut her eyes. There was nothing in her mind. Nothing that could disturb her, or interfere with her musical ability. It wasn't her that guided her, rather the violin that led the bow. As if my magic, the bow maneuvered itself over the stings in complex musical notes capable of moving even the coldest heart. Slow and spell binding, this music was nothing in comparison to the previous composition.

The music that she played wasn't something she had learned of paper. Rather, what she played was what she felt. Something cold and distant; unwritten and unharnessed. Such a sound was enough to sway any wholesome human being. However solemn and dark it seemed. It made her happy to wallow in her despair, and to feed off it to make herself stronger.

You of all people should know that to me, you were nothing special!

The awful memory caused her to press the bow rougher into the violin, snapping one of the strings. By mere miracle, it missed slashing her face. She sighed. Just like that. She disappeared and it was me in her place. Playing the violin, it allowed me to hide myself behind it without having to voice myself. I felt invincible when I played. Strong with an excuse to be proud. However, there was just one thing even years of playing the violin couldn't overcome.

Off in the stage, I saw someone sitting in the seat closest to the exit door on the right. I couldn't see very well with all the lights of the stage blinding me, but I could tell it was a 'he'. The very feint burning of a cigarette could be seen even from the stage. I figured he must have been waited for his girlfriend who was more than likely chatting with her friends out back like they were so fond of doing. I ignored him.

I inspected my violin to make sure I hadn't damaged too much. It would need to be stringed again. I could fix it once I got back to Delane. With great care - now that it was already damaged - I placed it in it's case. I took the case securely in my arm and began to walk off stage. After all this time, a simple memory of him can bother me so greatly. I stopped mid step and looked back to the lit stage.

From behind the stage, I could hear the muted giggling of the girls who were more than likely waiting for me so they taunt me. Their insults were hardly effective to me. There was nothing they could ever say that could hurt me. Yet it was rather irritating having to put up with them after every music class. I waited until I heard them leave off the side of the stage and into the audience, passing the right exit where they stranger had been. More than likely picking him up in the process.

The stage and the audience was empty. There was no reason for me leave right away. Not when the stage just called to me. I set my case down and looked at my feet as I slowly shuffled back to the center of the stage. The lights were blinding. Much more than before. I shut my eyes to keep my eyes from hurting. Still looking down, I allowed myself to sing.

Gracefully she's circling higher. my voice was low. Almost as if it was embarrassed to sing at on this stage alone. I urged myself to continue this time with much more power. She has the wind beneath her wings, I didn't hold back yet still managed to keep my voice gentle for the sweet melody. I smiled, I loved the feeling that was slowly building in my chest. Every thought of that person disappeared from my mind. He was nothing anymore. and looks down on us. . . Those were the first lyrics that came to mind. Slow and gentle they served as a beautiful lullaby. She said -

I had opened my eyes, only to see the stranger still sitting in the stage. All the building emotion inside faded completely and the lyrics instantly drifted from my mind. He hadn't left with the last group of girls. Could it be that he wanted to see me? I don't know why, but that possibility frightened me. I rushed off the stage, grabbing my bag and my violin in the process. The closest exit was through the right side which was where he was. Would it be to obvious that I was avoiding him if I went all the way around through the left exit?

I decided no to look like a coward and face him directly if he chose to confront me. I headed for the right exit, but when I got off the stage he wasn't there anymore. I looked to the closest escape route - the right exit - only to see it swinging shut. I had just missed him. However creepy it sounded maybe he was just watching. I shivered. There was something very wrong about that. And maybe, just a little bit, I was disappointed at the lack of confrontation.