How To Save A Life

The little girl danced, twirling on her toes and spreading her arms. She wasn't all that good - she stumbled at the end of each turn, using her foot as a propeller. She went up and down, and even fell over once or twice. But she was having fun, something I envied of her.
Once upon a time I was like that little girl on the television screen. Well, once upon a time I was that little girl. But then I grew up, all too suddenly. I could hardly believe that gritty home video was made just five years or so ago. It felt like fifty; I felt like an old and frail woman.

I was having an eighteenth birthday party, in place of a twenty first, which I will probably never have. I had to admire my mother and father, the party was complete with stupid embarrassing videos and everything. They were the best. They did everything they could to make my life easier. In fact, the only good thing that they hadn't done for me is save my life. But that's alright. I knew when I was told that I had cancer that no one probably ever would, or rather could, do much about it except try to make me comfortable. I had to be grateful for that.

I had the best friends in the world too. None of them, absolutely none of them, showed any kind of fear or sorry. I'm sure they were a bit scared, but not once did it show in their eyes, and they know me well enough to show their sympathy through not showing it.

For this party, I had a plan. I would get to know all of my friends right down to their bones and blood type. Nobody would be unknown and nothing between us would be unsaid. It wasn’t an extremely big party; I just had good friends. So I started off with a brunette named Kasey whom I had known since year four and have loved since year six. I talked to her for I don’t know how long. Ages. It could have been, and I wish it was, years. I was quietly shunning myself in my head for choosing her first. I would have liked to keep the best ‘till last.

Second was Michelle, a little Asian girl with a cute button nose. She was adorable. Then one by one, I made my way around the room. I danced with some people and sat outside and talked to others. I was glad they were all sleeping over otherwise I would have run out of time.

We had all gone up to my parent’s best friend’s farm and held the party in their old sheep shed. It was great, like the camping trips we took as kids. Those weekends I looked forward to more than my birthday sometimes. The thing I loved most about them was, of course, being with my friends, and the barriers that come down between you each trip, but also the time I got to myself. I would take walks through the bush. It was just me, the noisy gravel under my feet, and the bush. There were paths made for people like me who liked to be alone sometimes, but they didn’t take away any of the magic.

I didn’t talk to my friends for the whole party. I mean, I talked to them, but not the D&M I had planned. I ate lots of junk, and drunk lots of coke as well. I didn’t want alcohol. I knew that it would either ruin it, or people wouldn’t drink it and it would be a waste. My friends agreed with me, which was nice.

You could tell that the party was gradually dying down. It was like some simultaneous decision that we all made at the same time. We all gathered in the middle of the hall and lay down. We lay with our heads together, while some people took photos and others just lay there. Then I realised there was one person I forgot. So I waited ‘till everybody sat up and started lazily walking around again to go up to him and talk.

“Hi.” I said, smiling.

“Hey.” He smiled back. “Nice party.”

“Thanks. I know it’s not massive but I kind of like it just like this.”

“Yeah. It’s nice.” Nice. It was quite nice. There was an awkward silence. I always tried to avoid them, usually by looking around as un-awkwardly as I could, whilst trying to think up a good subject. “I like your dress.” He complimented. “It’s-“

“Nice?” I chuckled. He looked down, laughing and scratching his forehead. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” He looked up, smiling, but a bit embarrassed. I punched his shoulder jokingly.

“I’m just teasing you.” I assured him. He laughed, punching me back half-heartedly. We started to talk and it was, well, very nice.