The Epic Mibba Banning Story

Once upon a time, there was a land called Mibba. This land existed between the lands of Venus and Earth, upon its own little star created in part by Dujo and the Big Bang.

This land started like forever ago--we'll just say that to avoid elaborating on a pointless detail. So anyway, more and more people began hearing about Mibba from all different worlds, including the Land of Skittles, the Land of Kidz Bop (which is a land of few and far between since the Kidz Bop Kids are in fact bloodless aliens with screeching puppy barks for voices), the Land of Cookies, the Land of the "Dark Sides" (they have more cookies!), and the Land of...uh...Dujo's Hair. Oh yes. I so just went there.

Mibba's population grew and grew in exponential numbers, but all of the members were girls. Until one day...

"Candy 'I Taste As Sweet As My Name Sounds'!" called out one of Mibba's many female members. She looked out the huge window that enclosed the House of the Land of Mibba [notice how that has as many syllables as the Fall of the House of Usher--that's SO a foreshadowing element! ...or, is it?] only to discover a strange person approaching the Registration door. The strangest things about this person, perhaps, were his hair (which did that flippy thing, like that guy from that band can do), lip ring, nose ring, scars--IT HAD A WEINER! IT WAS NOT A GIRL! CALL THE COPS, SOMEBODY!

"What is it, Skittle Dee Doo Dah?!" the girl replied. She ran across the house, sprinkling fairy dust on her way before stopping in her tracks upon spotting the male. "Oh...my...GOD." Candy 'I Taste As Sweet As My Name Sounds' turned around, quickly grabbing the emergency microphone that was placed on a table near the window. She spoke into it, "Emergency alert! We have a new member! And...it's a boy!," and each word she said was echoed throughout the sound system in this humongous house.

Every girl/member in the house could be heard gasping for air. Many 'Oh my God!'s, 'Holy shit!'s, and 'Where's my pot?!'s were heard throughout the establishment as everyone skidded to the window to take a look at the strange creature.

"Isn't he dreamy?!" one member, Skye 'My Name Rox', proclaimed.

"I'd tap dat," another member, Gangsta Thug 'I Can't Believe It's Not Gangster, Wiggahs' chimed in.

"Oooh!" moaned Princess 'Once a Porn Star, Always a Porn Star' as she humped the wall. "He can finally give me what I've been waiting for all these years!"

Jade, a girl who mainly stayed to herself and had the only sensible name there, gave Princess 'Once a Porn Star, Always a Porn Star' a puzzled look. "You're fifteen!"

"Exactly!" moaned Princess (we'll call her for short). "Oooh!" She continued thrusting her pelvis into the wall.

The male finished the registration process before the door to the House of the Land of Mibba [INSERT EPIC FORESHADOWING HERE] opened. He raised his brows (which was impossible to see because of his shaggy, nearly unrealistic hair) and walked inside, having amazing walking abilities due to the fact that it was impossible for him to see an inch in front of his face thanks to his black bangs.

All the girls gasped and stared at him as if they'd never seen a being of his kind. Which they hadn't, but...

Candy 'I Taste As Sweet As My Name Sounds' skip-dee-looed her way over to him, flashing him her brightest smile. "Hi! Welcome to Mibba! My name is Candy, and yes, I taste as sweet as my name sounds." After pausing to laugh at her own pun, she continued, "Here, have some Skittles!" She pulled out a bag of the candy and threw it at him, whistling as she skip-dee-looed away.

The new member raised his brow (which, once again, was impossible to see) and stared at all the hungry, horny girls around him.

But there was one horny girl that stood out in particular.

Princess 'Once a Porn Star, Always a Porn Star' humped her way over to him before saying in a very sultry (a.k.a., whorrish) voice, "Oooh, hello there, you male you. Lemme see that existent weiner of yours."

The newest resident of the House of the Land of Mibba [INSERT FORESHADOWING OUT THE ASS HERE] cocked his head to the side and stared at the odd girl.

Skittle Dee Doo Dah ran over to him and skidded to a stop before him. "Heeeey! Insert boring, repetitive welcome to Mibba here! My real name is Roxie but you can call me Skittles! By the way, here's some Skittles to welcome you!" She, unlike Candy, actually tore the bag open and threw the Skittle candy pieces directly at the new member.

Under his thick black bangs, the boy scowled as the girl skipped away.

"Hey hey hey, I'z ya homegurl Renaynaynay!" Renée, another member, proclaimed as she approached the boy. "Watch out cause you're gonna get WELCOME raped while you're here! So...yeah! Bye! Talk atcha later! Call meh." She imitated the phone signal with her pinky and thumb as she backed away.

Jade looked over at Renée as she walked past her. "You do realize that by welcoming him, you're adding to the welcome rape, right?"

"Talk to the hand, you dirty, nasty, filthy homosapien wannabe!" Renée held up her hand in Jade's face as she continued on her way.

Jade simply rolled her eyes and stepped away from Renée's hand. "Don't you morons know that any guy who wanders here is usually a fake?! Haven't you guys learned your lesson from the last supposed 'guy' member here?!"

"That's so different!" Skittle Dee Doo Dah defended. "Remember?! That girl said she used to be a guy, but she lost her dinkle-wink in a horrible accident!"

"She said she lost it while getting run over by a coal truck!" Jade shouted as a reminder. "If that story had any truth to it, he/she/it...'he-shit'...wouldn't be alive to tell its story!"

"Whatevs, Jade!" Gangsta Thug exclaimed. "You don't know nothin'! Be more trusting!"

Jade rolled her eyes and, after hesitating for a moment, walked over to the newcomer. "Speak," she demanded.

The newest member's eyes suddenly went wide as he furiously shook his head.

"Speak!" Jade shouted in his face.

He paused for a moment in fear before shaking his head once more.

"Ooooh," Princess 'Once a Porn Star, Always a Porn Star' moaned while humping her way back over to the new guy. "Let me hump your weenie against my secret garden." She pushed herself up against the guy before giving the air an odd look. She repeated her action and imitated an even more baffled look. "Like, I so feel nothing there..."

"SPEAK!" Jade shouted directly in the guy's ear, making him utter a phrase.

"Alright, alright, I lied!" came a very, very feminine voice from the seemingly masculine body. "I just wanted to be really well liked here and I was told that guys get lots of welcoming love!"

The whole House of the Land of Mibba [CAN YOU FEEL THE FORESHADOWING OVERWHELMING YOUR SOUL?!] was instantaneously filled with gasps, whispers and, finally, silence. Moments later, screams were heard.

"FAKE! FAKE!" one member exclaimed.

"Dujo! Ban! Now! Fake! Rawr! Skittles! Ice cream cones! Insert another original shout here!" Skittle Dee Doo Dah screamed.

"Wait for it..." Jade mumbled.

Suddenly, the roof of the house flew off of it--literally--and a huge mechanical claw entered the house from above, lifting the new member up by her shirt.

"Ahhhh!" she screamed as she was transported outside. Out of thin air, a huge red mechanical boot appeared with black writing on it.

"FAKE LOSER RIGHT HERE BITCHES, LOL", the shoe read on its side.

The shoe took a swing backward before literally kicking the girl off of the planet. She, of course, squealed and screamed her guts out as she landed...well, I suppose somewhere in outer space.

The roof recovered the building once again as if nothing ever happened. At this point, life in the House of the Land of Mibba returned back to normal. And, of course, the girls never learned their lesson. They simply waited for new 'guy' members to enter the house, and were met with disappointment (and Dujo's epic banning shoe) every time.