Choices

Austin Montgomery sat at the kitchen table, his hands clasped and resting on the wood in front of him. The room was quiet, and only the sound of time ticking away could be heard. He counted each tick, listening as the seconds, minutes passed by. Something nudged at his leg, and he was drawn out of his trance to look down at his beagle, Alex, who had shifted in his sleep.

Austin sighed and ran a hand through his blonde hair. He was nowhere near a mirror, but knew that if he were to look at one, he would see his hair standing up in its messy clumps. He shook his head in a half-hearted attempt to bring it back to it’s natural state.

His hands soon returned to their previous position. He brought his attention to the glass and bottle in front of him. His mind soon began calculating. Twenty and he would be gone in an hour. Thirty and he would be gone in half that time. He picked up the bottle, observing the words and numbers on the label before putting it back where it was.

From the corner of his eyes, Austin saw the calendar hanging on the refrigerator. He averted his gaze to it and stared intently. It had been exactly one month. One month since she had gotten on that plane. One month since she had left him. One month that his heart had been torn apart, filled with the agony of things that he should have said, but never did. And now, he never will.

They had been best friends for eight years, since the first day of High School. He could still remember the day that very first day that he met her. They had third period English together, and she was seated next to him. He was going through his planner, trying to figure out where to go, who to see, and what to do that day. Then, a voice called out and caught his attention.

“I like your notebook,” Austin turned towards the voice to see a girl holding up the same notebook he was using. His attention, however, was taken elsewhere. He was mesmerized by her auburn hair, her shining, green eyes, and a smile that seemed to light up the room.

Austin smiled back as he forced himself to take his attention off of her and to the notebook in front of him. “Wow, great minds think alike” He said, turning back to her.

She giggled, then held out her hand in front of him, “I’m Lily.”

“Austin,” He said as he grasped her hand firmly in his and shook.

And they had been inseparable ever since.

Until now.

Austin felt the tears well up in his eyes as he thought back to her. Her image was imprinted in his memory, a image that hadn’t changed since that first day. Lily was his, shoulder, his rock, the one person that he felt perfectly comfortable around. There was nothing about him or his life that Lily didn’t know about, and vice versa. She was there for him when his father died, and He was there for her when she left her home. They cried, laughed, yelled together, and even shared in simple silences that Austin wouldn’t give up for the world.

He loved her. He always had.

But by the time he realized it, it was too late.

They were grown up and out of college, just starting their new careers. Their time together had lessened, but the two thought nothing of it. They lasted this long, they knew that they would never fall apart.

Their time together became something to cherish, and Austin loved to spend what time he could with her. He soon began to realize that he loved her more than a friend. It wasn’t just her presence that brought him happiness. He loved it when she smiled at him. He loved her laugh. He loved staring into her eyes, the one thing that he could never quite understand about her.

But they had been friends forever. Austin knew that there was no way she would simply return his feelings over night. And although it killed him inside, he knew that he would rather hold her as a friend than not hold her at all.

Fate, however, decided differently.

Austin looked from the calendar to the newspaper article hanging next to it. He didn’t put it up in pride, or joy, but rather to remind himself every day of the painful truth. On it was a black-and-white picture filled with flames, firetrucks, and metal. Above it was the Header for the day: “Plane Crashes, Leaves None Alive”. To others who had seen the article, it meant nothing. To Austin, it meant so much more.

Austin sighed once again and turned his attention back to the bottle in front of him. He reached for it, and slowly pulled out 30 of the pills one by one. Austin then brought the cup forward. He paused for a second, contemplating the options he had. But there were not.

Slowly, Austin counted as he swallowed each pill individually, taking a sip of the water to help it go down. Not like it would have mattered in the end, though.

One.

Two.

Three.

As he counted and took each pill into his body, he thought of a memory of her.

Four. The time they spent the whole day hiking, telling each other their hopes, wants, and dreams.

Five. The day of their high school graduation, where they both laughed and cried. The picture that still sat on his bedroom dresser.

Six. The day she came to him, tears streaming down her face after leaving her house for good. She had fallen asleep in his arms.

As he finished the thirtieth pill, Austin sat back and took a deep breath. At the moment he felt good, but he knew that it wouldn’t be much longer that he felt at all. Austin forced himself to get up and walk to the bedroom. As he walked, he heard a jingle, then the footsteps of Alex following closely behind.

Austin laid down in his bed and pulled the covers over his body. Suddenly, the room was unusually cold for a July night. Alex jumped onto the bed, standing in front of his friend. Austin cried as he brought the dog closer, holding him in his arms.

“I’m sorry I have to leave buddy,” He whispered into the dog’s ear. “Trust me, if you could talk, I’d be content to stay here with you forever.” Austin watched as the tears ran down his face into his fur. “Don’t worry, I’m sure Myra will take care of you. I know she loves you, and would gladly take you in.” He laughed, but it was hallow, dark. “You’ll be livin in heaven, getting lots of attention, and treats…” He was silent for a few moments before he continued, “I just have to be with her. I can’t live without her.”

Austin let the dog go, but it never left it’s master’s side. He closed his eyes, as drowsiness soon begun to take over. A small smile spread on his lips. Soon, it would all be over. Soon, he would be with her once again. He would never leave his side.

Finally, Austin Montgomery fell asleep, to wake no more.