Suffering Alone In Silence

Frank's POV

Monday. I hate Monday’s, actually scrap that. I hate everyday. I hate that I have no friends, I hate that I’m beaten black and blue by the kids at school, and I hate that I’m gay. It’s the reason why I am beaten by my dad at home. I’m not safe at home and I’m not safe at school.

I am Frank Iero. I am seventeen years old, gay, and a loner. I don’t like people and in return people don’t like me. I am prone to lashing out at my peers. I bashed a kid to near death one time and yet the kids at school still find it entertaining to stir me up and watch me lash out so violently.

You may ask why I don’t lash out at my father. My answer is I have and it ended up with me in hospital fighting for life. My dad is the only person who scares me. I just take everything he gives to me. He’s in charge. I am worthless and deserve the beatings he give me. I just do as he says. If he says strip, I strip, he’s in charge. He’s beaten me and raped me and stolen some of my sanity. I want to crack but I can’t, cuz he’s in charge.

I get a kick to the ribs.

“Get out of bed and go to school faggot!” snarls my dad.
I get up immediately, not wanting to anger him anymore. It’s hard to keep him happy, but I’m trying, god help me, I’m trying.

“C-can I get dressed...please” I whimper at my father. I don’t want him to watch me, not today. I feel ugly enough already.

Dad simply snorts and leaves the room, but not before he backhands me in the face.

That stung.

I sigh in relief and go to my closet. I pick out red skinny jeans, a Misfits tee and my black hoodie. I walk out of my room and into the bathroom next door. I brush my teeth and gel my hair. I don’t put my eyeliner on until I’m out of the house, I don’t want to make him angry before I go to school.

I take one last look in the mirror and sigh. I then walk out of the bathroom and make my way down the hallway and into the kitchen. Mom is staring out the window. I know she’s upset and I also know that it’s my fault. I should be a better son. Dad is sitting at the head of the small kitchen table. He looks up at me from his paper and glares.

“Don’t even think about having breakfast, you’re fat enough as it is. It’s no wonder the kids at school pick on you, you fat ass.” He snarls.

“Yes dad, sorry dad.” I mumble. I go over to my mom and give her a hug. She kisses my forehead and tells me to have a good day.

“I’ll try” I mumble.

“Bye dad.” I murmer.
He simply grunt’s his reply at me.

I heave another sigh and make my way out of the kitchen and out the front door. The cool air greets me and I wish I had remembered my gloves. It’s autumn and it’s starting to get cool and I’m wishing I could catch the bus. Then again, as I look down at my stomach, dad’s right, once again, I’m getting fatter and really could do with the exercise.

It’s five to nine when I arrive at school. That leaves just enough time to go to my locker before heading to homeroom. I walk into my home room and take a seat in the back row. There’s a creepy kid that sits next to me, his name is Michael. I don’t like him. There is just something about him that unsettles me, but then again, I am always worked up.

“Hey Frankie boy.” A cold voice coos at me. I look up and notice that it’s only Anthony.

“Hey Anthony.” I use the same tone of voice, but it sounds a lot more cruel, almost evil.

There is a flash of fear in his eyes, before he looks me over once and turns away. He knows what’s good for him. I take a quick look at Michael; he’s smiling a sinister smile. I told you he’s creepy.

Anthony was the first to make me lash out. That resulted in a fractured skull of his. I bashed him with a chair. He knows how dangerous I can be, so he tries to not push me too far anymore.