Suffering Alone In Silence

Frank’s pov
It is now Thursday. The rest of the time that was spent at my new home was awkward to say the least. I was tip-toed around for the first day until I punched Mikey in the face. From that point on it was only awkward sexual tension between Gerard and I. We both agreed that it was wrong and it should never have happened, but it did and now I have to deal with it. I closed myself off on Wednesday, not feeling like doing much. I had a night terror last night. It left me screaming and shaking. Doc gave me a sedative to calm me enough to go back to sleep.

I am sitting back at my window, looking out at the familiar scene. It is quite a nice sight considering where I am. I hear someone approach my room, then knock on the door, before the door squeaks, letting me know someone has entered my room. I listen to the footsteps.
Doc Martins. It’s Gerard. I don’t bother to turn around. He walks over to me and sits down, facing the window, not me.

“Hey Frankie, how’s it going?” he asks quietly.

I shrug in reply.

“Okay, good,” he pauses, a thoughtful silence.

“Have you got anything to say today?” He asks once more.

Once again I shrug.

The silence speaks more words than actual words could say. It is heavy, and light, all at the same time. Gerard knows me better than anyone else. I wish he would work it out already.

“I haven’t spoken to Dr Masters today. Has something happened?” he asks gently.

I shrug again.

“Frankie...please...talk to me.” He’s begging, clearly worried.

“I’m tired.” I mumble.

I get up and amble back over to my bed. I crawl into it and wrap the blankets around myself, right up to just under my eyes. I watch Gerard turn in his chair to face me. I watch as he sighs, his shoulders slumping. I watch as he gets up and comes over to me. I close my eyes as he pets my hair softly.

“Sleep. I’ll come back later to check on you.” He whispers.

I open my eyes as he pulls his hand away from me. I watch him walk away.

The first sob wracks my entire body. I am retreating back into myself. The world is too cruel a place for someone like me, a person so damaged by life and its cruel twists of fate.