Suffering Alone In Silence

Frank’s POV

It wasn’t the first time that day that I was asked about my disappearance. In fact I was asked at least a dozen times. Ryan and he crew stayed away from me all day, taking a wide berth when they passed me in the hallways. I remember thinking that I may just be able to finish school without any problems. The rumour around school was that I was in jail for drugs and violence. I didn’t bother trying to deny or confirm the rumour and stayed close to Mikey and kept to myself.

“Does it bother you Frank?” Mel asked me that afternoon, at therapy.

“Does what bother me?” I asked.

“The rumours,” She prompted.

“Oh. No it doesn’t bother me really. Ryan and his crew used to beat me to a bloody mess, and now they won’t even come close to me. Ryan actually asked me if I was in jail, he seemed really calm, almost afraid to upset me.” I replied.

“Okay then. Is there anything else you want to tell me?” She asked.

“My teachers say that I am doing really well, and that I am actually intelligent,” I say with a small laugh.

“I know the teachers report twice a week to the principal and he types everything up and e-mails it to me. It makes me happy that you are doing so well.” Mel states.

I fall silent, feeling slightly betrayed that me teachers are reporting to the principal, telling him if I did any work, whether I did my homework, how I am interacting with the other students. That betrayal quickly turns into a white hot anger that I suddenly feel like I can’t control.

“Frank, deep breaths dear, deep breaths,” Mel calmly instructs.

I take deep breaths, but it doesn’t work. I scream. I bury my head into the couch cushion and scream. It is all coming undone; all my composure from the week has disappeared. I am frustrated at being put in repeat classed, at my teachers talking about me and reporting about me. I am still angry so I get up off the couch and go over to the wall. I start punching the wall and screaming at it. I’m not screaming words or anything coherent. I am just screaming to vent frustration. I start to slowly bang my head against the brick wall. It is only then that I feel a warm hand on the small of my back, and another hand slowly pulling me back from the wall so I can’t bang my head against it.

“Feel better?” Mel’s voice asks, gentle and calm as always.

“I dunno,” I mumble.

“What got you so worked up sweetie?” She asks.

“I’m just frustrated. I am trying really hard Mel, so damn hard. I’m annoyed that the teachers are reporting about me, about my work, homework, and how I interact with my class mates. It makes me feel like a small child.” I complain.

“I understand that Frank, but I promise that it is only for 6 weeks, until we can establish what your natural work routine is.” Mel states.

“Just for six weeks?” I confirm.

“Six weeks,” She confirms.

“Okay.” I sigh.

A knock on the door interrupts us and Mel looks at the clock.

“That will probably be Gerard.” She smiles, and walks to the door.

She opens the door and sure enough Gerard is standing there.

“How goes it?” He asks.

“Same old, same old.” She smiles at him.

He smiles back at Mel, and then looks past her and at me.

“Ready to go?” He asks.

I nod and get up off the couch and walk over to the doorway where Gerard is standing.

“What happened to your head Frankie?” Gerard asks, looking for me to Mel.

“I kinda had an altercation with the wall.” I mumble, looking at my feet.

“Okay then. C’mon lets go then,” He smiles.

“See you Tuesday Frank.” Mel smiles at me, patting my shoulder as I brush past her.

“Bye Mel.” I mumble.

Gerard and I leave and on the way home, Gerard buys us both a chocolate sundae from McDonalds. Gerard’s insists that it’s to cheer me up after a hard therapy session. I just smile and thank him. When we get home Mikey sits with me at the kitchen table and helps me with my homework, while Donna cooks dinner. I have therapy twice a week, on a Tuesday and on a Friday. On the days that I don’t have therapy, Gerard takes Mikey and I home and we sit in my room and do homework, before chilling out with music and comics before dinner.