Still Doll

The quiet footsteps left behind by the porcelain doll continued to echo throughout the hallway, leaving small footprints of water on the floor. Soon enough, the doll’s reflection was easy to spot on the water stained floor. The doll danced her way down the hall, giggling sweetly at the voices pursuing her. A game of chase. As she continued to move towards the light at the end of the grand hallway, the voices soon died away. The chase was over? How fast the time had gone while she was trapped inside the same endless game of chase. Soon it would end.

The doll looked at the strings attached to her arms and smiled. They were slowly disappearing, leaving a thin glimmer where they had once been attached to her porcelain skin. She continued to dance her way down the hall, faster and faster. She was almost there…

…and when she got there, there was nothing but a mirror.

The doll stared at her reflection in the mirror, holding out a hand toward it. She placed her hand against the glass, the girl inside the mirror doing the same. And they both smiled. It was time to move to the next level.

Kanon woke up that day gasping for air and uncertain of the reality of the things around her. She looked around her room; the curtains were closed, and they looked real. The small drawer was still there, and that looked real too. The bed, where she was laying down, seemed real too, all of its comfort and warmth. She placed a hand to her face and the other to her heart. Kanon was real too.

These dreams she was having-and the illusions…They were all so confusing and frustrating-she didn’t know what to make of it. Kanon felt there was some kind of connection between the little girl and her. But she had no idea what that could be, especially if she had never seen her before her dreams.

At least the nightmares are gone, she thought, suddenly relieved. The nightmares had left her, she hadn’t had one single nightmare ever since the one that send her running through the halls, crying. Alexander saved me…

Kanon sat up from her bed and squinted in the darkness. Sure, Alexander had saved her from the pain, however, that didn’t excuse him from acting the way he did. Henry was just a boy-and yet he yelled at him. Like William… She shook that thought out of her mind and slowly got out of her bed. Out of nowhere, this feeling of something missing around her seemed to fill her whole chest until she began to look around. She checked her drawers, the closet, under her bed, and even behind the curtains, which soon she opened up anyway.

As the light filled the room, casting familiar shadows, radiance glowed from her eyes. The day was beautiful today. The sun was shining brightly and exceptionally, and the sky was a beautiful baby blue. There was no cloud on it, that Kanon could see. Birds sang, and she could hear the distant voices of cheery servants on another day of work. Such a great day…and yet there was something missing. She couldn’t put her finger on it. Something not really significant, but anyways necessary. A new part of her…

There was a sudden knock on the door, and Kanon’s usual maid’s loud but controlled voice came from behind it. “Lady Kanon, please, you must let us enter!” she said.

Kanon stared at the door, feeling no desire to open it for anyone. Couldn’t she be let alone for a few days? Was it too much to ask? Then she remembered in whose house she was, and that she was lucky to be alive. “I’m coming,” Kanon said, approaching the door slowly.

As she opened it, there stood the maidservant, accompanied by two other servants with their heads down, looking at the floor. She entered the room, looking around, probably to see its condition. The other two maids stayed put at the door. Kanon glanced at them glancing at each other and turned to the head maid. “Do what you must and then leave, please,” she told them politely.

The maid turned to look at Kanon and sighed. She said, “Lady Kanon, the master is very concerned about you. You don’t step a foot outside this room, you don’t let us in, you don’t respond-”

“I am not a child who needs to be kept watched all the time,” Kanon said in a monotone voice.

“I was not implying that you were, Lady Kanon,” the maid replied calmly and softly. “I was simply informing of Master Alexander’s worries-”

“His worries are not needed,” Kanon said in the same toneless voice.

“But he still does, Lady Kanon,” the maid insisted. “With all due respect, whatever he did to upset you, I’m sure it was not that…big of a deal-”

“Can you talk and clean at the same time?”

The maid stared at Kanon, silent. As Kanon saw it, it seemed she was debating whether to keep insisting on the subject. So, Kanon took her chance and turned towards the door. She had finally remembered what was missing. It was small, but powerful at the same time.

And as Kanon walked down the hallway, looking from right to left, she softly called, “Asriel…where are you, Asriel? Here, little bunny….”

Alexander sat back in his chair and stared at the papers on his desk. There was a lot of unfinished work, lots and lots. His uncle was expecting the company’s paper work the day afterward, and then there was the appearance the opening by him and his aunt. That bitter old lady. He sighed, continuing his silent gaze at the papers before him. For once, he actually wished he could make it all go away with the snap of his fingers. Snap! Just like that. A simple gesture that could make every single thing-

A noise near him snapped him out of his deep thoughts.

Alexander looked around him, and seeing nothing, he relaxed back into his dazed state, where the hoping of a sudden accident would delay everything that was planned. He really did need some time for himself, away from all the-

Shuffle. Shuffle.

Alexander sat straight again and looked around suspiciously. That noise-there was no mistaking it. There was something-or most likely, someone in that room besides him. However did someone else get in there? Maybe he was so concentrated on praying for a sudden change in work that he didn’t notice the door opening and someone coming inside. But there was no one inside. As he took in his surroundings, he realized that unless whoever had gotten in was the size of his shoe itself, he would have seen it happen.

Rustle. Rustle.

Alexander stood up from the chair and walked around his black, polished, wooden desk. He looked down at the floor, an image of a mouse forming in his head. Maybe it’s some kind of animal, thought the nervous aristocrat. The noise began to rise level, a bit louder than before. He could actually tell what it was now; there was something moving inside the closet. His hands began to feel sweaty, and he slowly wiped them against his pants. What if it was some kind of dangerous animal? He doubted it, but he didn’t like taking chances.

The sound of coats and jackets being moved around inside the closet echoed inside his mind. Something…in there…animal…

With one quick move from his hand, Alexander took a hold of the handle and pulled the doors to open. He braced himself for any kind of attack from a small, wild critter. His muscles tensed up, and his eyes were shut closed. He waited and waited for the pain of the animal’s claws tearing up his flesh, but nothing came. Hesitantly, he opened his eyes, one by one, revealing the luminous brown within them. A moment passed, and Alexander realized nothing was going to attack him. Because as he looked closer, there lay nothing within the jackets but a harmless little beauty.

“Why, hello,” Alexander said. He laughed shortly before reaching to pick it up with his hands. “What are you doing here?”

“Asriel…where are you, little bunny?”

Kanon looked inside an open room, only to see a bunch of suitcases thrown about the room and a few pieces of clothing thrown on the floor. Such a mess it was in there! There were also papers scattered on the bed, and the pillows were disarray. However untidy the room was, she couldn’t think about that now. Or even try to figure out whose room that was. There was a certain little critter that needed finding.

Kanon searched throughout the hallways and even asked a few maids if they’d seen anything as small as a rat around, which they were concerned about, thinking a rat had gotten inside the house. It would start a lot of rumors if word got out that Sir Michaelis’s mansion was filled with rats. They were even more worried about what Alexander would say if he found out. So they began their search, only they were searching for trash eating animals, and Kanon was just looking for her poor rabbit. She continued the search alone.

“Asriel…” Kanon continued whispering as she walked aimlessly, looking for at least a clue. “Please, Asriel, I hope you’re not hiding from me. Do you miss Henry? You’ll get to see him, just please… Asriel, where are you?”

While Kanon was whispering on to a rabbit that was probably not even near her, she didn’t realize there was someone coming her way until she heard the person’s voice.

“I think that may be your master,” Alexander was saying. “And-oh, yes! There she is. Kanon!”

Kanon slowly turned around and braced herself for the recognition of his silky, black hair that she liked so much. And there it was. She stared at him silently, taking in the sight. His hair was, as usual, tied in a ponytail, the front hair tossed gracefully over his forehead. Also, Kanon noticed, his eyes seemed much brighter than usual. A more clearer brown than they were before. Alexander seemed to always surprise her.

“Were you talking to yourself just now?”

Kanon blinked and looked at Alexander. He was smiling, but she couldn’t tell if it was a joke or not. “I was not,” she said. “I was looking for something.”

Alexander’s smiled seemed to widen, and he said, “Hmm. What are you looking for?”

Kanon stared at him. Something was awfully odd about him today. There was this whole other mood to him, as if he had never said those things to her. Maybe he’s happy Henry’s gone, she thought. “It’s nothing,” she told him, ready to turn and walk away.

“But Kanon,” he said, “I think I know what it is.” Alexander smiled and squirmed where he stood for a moment.

“What do you mean?” Kanon asked slowly.

“Well,” said Alexander, reaching for pocket, which seemed to move, Kanon noticed, “did you lose a little beauty with long ears?”

And then Kanon saw what was in his pocket. There, her little nose moving quickly as she breathed, was Asriel.

Kanon smiled almost instantly. She’d found it. Well, Alexander found it… “Where did you find her?” she asked him.

“Oh, she came in to take a look at my study room and ended up in my closet.” Alexander smiled and held Asriel in his hands.

“I suppose because that’s where she made herself comfortable the first time…” As she said it, Kanon remembered everything-every detail about it-that had happened that night. “Thank you, Sir Michaelis. Now, I’ll just t-”

“Sir Michaelis?” Alexander said, sounding shocked and concerned. “Kanon, don’t do that…” His voice wavered, and his eyes seemed shinier than the last time she had looked into them. It made her experience an unpleasant ache in her chest.

“Don’t do what?” said Kanon, whose heart was starting to make its own fast beat in her chest.

“I’ve upset you,” Alexander began, taking a step closer. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. It was a stupid, stupid mistake, Kanon! I would never try to hurt you or make you relive your past, in which you suffered so.”

Kanon stared, silent and speechless.

“And about Henry-I’m sorry about that, too. I acted on anger, and I feel awful. He’s just your first friend since me… I shouldn’t have acted so childish.” Alexander took a moment to breath, calming himself, and then he stepped forward, the expression of such a gallant and kind man Kanon thought him to be taking over his features. “Forgive me?”

Kanon let out a shuddering breath, a pleasant realization taking its place in her mind and heart. She had been wrong to be angry at him all along. Alexander was one of the sweetest people Kanon had ever met. If he ever did anything to upset her, of course he would feel bad about it. Because he cared about her, she was sure. Then, as suddenly as the hurt came in that night, a sudden feeling of gratifying sweetness replaced it.

Kanon smiled, and just as she was about to say something, a very subtle and noticeable noise demanded both of their attention.

Shuffle. Shuffle.