Still Doll

It was dark and cold. So silent, the doll could almost hear her heartbeat in the ominous darkness. Each step she took only got darker and darker, as if she was going deeper and deeper inside an endless, dark tunnel. The smell of candles lingered in her nostrils, that she could almost see the aimless light inside her head. Kanon wanted to be in that light. That warm and comforting, as others described it, light named happiness. Was it obtainable? Would she ever know the true meaning of happiness or why it made you act the way she had seen others act, when they were...happy?

"You will never know," a disembodied voice said.

As the light consumed the darkness completely from her sight, blinding her eyes for only just a second, Kanon could see a small floating light in front of her. Are you...a talking light? Or a spirit? she thought, thinking, for some reason, it would hear her.

"No. I've come to give you what you need to surpass the darkness." She studied the voice carefully, with her ears, and realized it was the voice of a man. A familiar, soothing voice.

Darkness?

"Yes. The deep dark void that is your past and your present."

Why? Why have you come to help me at all?

The question was never answered. As she took one step closer, the light slowly went inside her body through her chest, making her glow in the process. Once it did, the comforting light that disabled her to be closed off in the darkness, disappeared, making it pitch black once again. Now, those strange feelings came. Her heart started beating faster, and her forehead was dripping small drops of water. Kanon looked around, even though she couldn't see anything, and decided to close her eyes. When she did, she started hearing voices, scary and familiar voices. They said some horrible things, it made her heart shudder in pain, though she couldn't realize it. They said things like,

"I'm not going to let you ruin the master's good fortune just to get married to a filthy commoner like you!"

"Would you like to die along with him?!"

"Your life has no meaning, and it doesn't matter if you do die."

"I guess...I'll have to make you mine by force."

No! No! No!

Kanon's body quickly and with force lifted up from the bed. She was covered with sweat, and her throat ached, as if she had been screaming for hours. Footsteps were heard outside her door, and the door was pushed open in alarm. Her eyes darted toward the five maids, coming inside and last, Alexander. Their faces were filled with concern and worry.

Alexander ran to Kanon, who was sitting on her bed, confusion practically written on her face. "Kanon, are you all right?!"

"Yes...?" she answered carefully, trying to catch up to the situation. "Did something happen?"

Alexander stared at her in disbelief, not believing the words coming out of her pale and dry lips. "You absolutely have no idea of why we came in here? After we heard screams coming from your room?"

"Screams?" she said. "What screams?"

Alexander sighed in defeat. She was never going to realize what had just happened, unless someone talked to her. It was strange having to explain to someone what were nightmares, but there was no other choice. Alexander, nodded to the maids, and just like that, they left the room, closing the door behind them. His dark brown eyes, focused on Kanon's face for only a minute, until he decided it was enough what he had to say to the long haired girl, who didn't know what nightmares were. He sat down on the bed, beside her and said, "Kanon, do you know what nightmares are?"

Confusion deepened within her looks. "Of course I do."

"Oh, then you know what just happened here?" He suddenly was relieved that he didn't have to explain it to her, but he was wrong.

"I...don't know. Did something happen?"

"Oh, Kanon!" Alexander sighed, exasperated, and took her hands. "You just had a nightmare!"

"I did?" She had no idea she had. Sure, she was covered in sweat and her throat ached like mad, but it could have just meant that she was thirsty and that she was feeling hot. Though by the looks of the weather, she must have been wrong.

"Yes!" He chuckled. "You did. Would you like to talk about it?"

"Uh, no, it's not necessary."

"Well, if you're sure..." He got ready to stand up and walk out of the room, to leave her to rest, when her grip on his hands tightened, disabling him to. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure." She was being honest. Kanon wasn't really sure why she couldn't let go of his hands. "I can't seem to let go."

Alexander smiled in understanding to her feelings. She didn't quite realize it, but she was scared, that was what he thought. She'll understand in time. His hand reached to caress her pale cheek. Kanon, thinking something was different about him, stared at him thoughtfully.

"What?" He smiled, a bit embarrassed.

"Your hair." Kanon placed her hand on top of his head. "You have it loose. It's different."

"Of course, it is," Alexander laughed. "Don't want to look unprofessional, by having my hair hang loose on my shoulders all day."

Unconsciously, she ran her hand down to stroke his soft and black hair. They both stared at each other for a while before realizing, they were an inch from other's faces. One or the other gasped and backed away first. Alexander stood up and walked toward the door, keeping it open for a minute before telling her, "I'll leave it loose one day, for you."

Kanon laid back against her pillow, slowly closing her eyes. Once the door shut closed, she whispered, "Thank you."