Of Thieves And Do Gooders

"Come on, we're gonna have to get out some other way now, thanks to you," the young man muttered, turning away from me.

I stuck my tongue out at the back of his head. Jesus, I'd just met him and he was already a jerk. He was probably rich, that would've made more sense...and yet it seemed he was simply a thief like myself, how odd. How did a thief have a rich guy's attitude? Or maybe it was just a cocky attitude, yeah that sounded more like it, he was most-likely an overconfident guy who's extremely attractive and knows it. He seemed to fit that bill quite well.

I followed him down a hallway, of which he walked rather stiffly. If he was playing the part of a businessman, he was fitting the role well, it looked like there was a stick so far up his ass it would poke out of his mouth if he sat down.

I followed at a reasonable distance, lest there be a maid around every corner. He looked natural enough, but I looked like...well...a burglar.

Why was he helping me out of here anyway? He had some kind of plan, I knew it. If he thought I was playing the fall guy, he had a problem, I wasn't that naive and I wasn't sticking around. Besides, it wasn't like he knew my real name, so I was out of there.
The next corner the young man turned I shuffled down the opposite direction, walking as quietly as possible.

Heel...toe...heel...toe...

I repeated these words several times in my head, I had mastered the art of walking silently and putting little if any weight on my feet, and yet I still had this habit.

As I focused intently on my walking, I halted as something shiny caught my eye. I paused, the hallways weren't lit at all, apparently the maids weren't in this wing of the mansion...or better yet they went home. Yes, even better.

I zoned in on the shiny object quickly but quietly, stopping just before it and squatting down to pick it up off of the ground. I ran my fingers over a sleek silver necklace, a plain diamond heart with a thin silver chain. It looked expensive, despite its simplicity.

Jackpot.

I pocketed the necklace and reached up absently to my own necklace, which was worth much less money, fifteen bucks at the most.

I exhaled quickly and my breath froze. My stance widened in the hall and my eyes darted across the darkened floor in vain. It was gone. My necklace was gone. I was in a panic now, even though thieves aren't supposed to panic, but what the hell did I care? Thieves also weren't supposed to put one possession above all others. Alright, so I was a bad thief, I was over it.

Oh, allow me to explain, that necklace was a memento given to me by my mother and father six years earlier, for my eleventh birthday. Celtic jewelry had always fascinated me, so I was ecstatic to receive the gift. But not only that, but my parents died shortly after I received the necklace. So it was the last thing I had to remember them by.

Even though I knew the necklace was obviously nowhere around me, my eyes continued to dart across the floor in hopes of otherwise. I froze--and probably could've been mistaken for a misplaced statue--my mind flashed back to when the young man had touched my shoulder from behind. That would've been the perfect opportunity to steal my necklace. Damn, he was a better thief than I had expected, honestly if I had the chance I wouldn't have been able to resist the impulse either.

I partially giggled and partially growled at the thought of him examining the trinket later--making me sound like a gorilla choking on a random fruit--he would probably be thoroughly disappointed at his find. I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd have tossed the necklace off somewhere once he realized its worth.

I flipped around in the hallway, and b-lined in the general direction the young man had gone. Yes, it was a big chance, and it was stupid and unprofessional, but damn it I wanted that necklace back!

If worst came to worst I would just trade him my own find, the pretty little diamond heart. Once I got to the hallway he had turned down I followed it merely a yard before it came to a three-way split...damn...

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe...

I pointed my finger at each hall way and paused...gah, damn...how'd the rest of that damn rhyme go? Oh well. Curse extensive childhood rhyming.

Pick a random hallway and go, go, go!

I turned to the right and followed the hallway that was a perfect straight away, and at the end was a single door with two doors on either side. I put my ear carefully to the door on the right and pulled back again as I heard voices on the other side, and they sounded close.

Well then, not that door.

I side-stepped to the door on the left and pressed my ear carefully to the door, listening intently. I must have stood there for more than half a minute, it didn't sound like there was any movement, so, there was my obvious choice right there.

Carefully, I put my hand on the cold door-knob and turned it as quietly as I could. Once I pushed the door inwards an agonizingly drawn out creak seemed to echo throughout the entire mansion, bellowing down the halls and shaking the rafters as if the entire mansion would explode. Then again, if you ask my old enemy Reality, it was so quiet even a mouse wouldn't have turned its head.

I thrust the door forward and stepped in the room, then closing the door quickly behind me, and not another squeak escaped the accursed door. Hmph, it was one of those trick doors that creaked only if you opened or closed it slowly, otherwise it was as quiet as a...I don't know...a mouse I guess. But if you've ever stepped on a mouse they sure as hell ain't that quiet.

"What the hell?” This came from behind me and I almost slammed myself against the door trying to get back out of it. When I realized I couldn't make it out, I swiveled around to face my new annoyance and possible attacker.

I was thoroughly shocked to find the young man from earlier...shirtless and in a simple pair of dark blue jeans. I blinked several times, waiting for the scene to process...Oh my god! He was shirtless…

And might I add he looked pretty damn good shirtless, I was glad that troublesome suit was out of the way...

I shook the thought away, holy shit this was no time to be fantasizing! I needed to focus.

I shook these thoughts from my head and flipped around in the other direction, whispering fiercely, "Would you put a shirt on dude?" I said in a gruff voice, knowing full-well that there was an incredibly noticeable blush on my cheeks.

"You?" The boy whispered fiercely sounding flat out irritated to see me again. I was certainly feeling the love. "What the hell are you doing here?" he asked fiercely, and yet as quietly as possible.

I remained with my back to him as I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know, maybe that security system is proving to be a bit of an annoyance for me," I shot back. "And what about you? I thought you'd be out of here by now." This was a lie, I knew he couldn't get out of a place like this in under fifteen minutes.

"I was working on it before you barged in here," he replied in a low growl, now pulling a tight-fitting black T-shirt over his head. "And don't expect any help from me, don't think I didn't notice you slinking off the second I turned that corner!" The boy pulled a black wristband on his right wrist and sat on the floor to put on a pair of socks and shoes.

"What are you doing?" I asked, now turning around completely, as opposed to observing him over my shoulder as I had been doing.

He glared up at me. "What's it to you? You won't benefit from it." He went back to what he was doing, now tying his shoes.

As more and more time passed I began to wonder if I was going to actually make it out of that house without his help...

"Hey..." He looked up at me again, "I think we got off on the wrong foot here." He rose his eyebrow curiously. Why was that such a weird thing to say?

"Is there something wrong with your voice? It sounds kinda...squeaky." The boy stood up now, eyeing me suspiciously.

Crap! I had reverted back to my girl voice.

I forced a cough and turned my head downward, there was very little light in the room, so I was certain he wouldn't be able to see my face. "Ahem, yeah, I'm fine, I just, you know...have a cold of some sort...Ahem, so anyway, as I was saying, if I could help you out in anyway, I'd be glad to...you know, since I ditched you and everything..." I spoke with an incredibly deep voice, and then looked up again, so my words could actually be heard.

The boy remained silent for a short time and then seemed to perk up at an unknown idea, "...Actually, you might have some use..." he practically muttered to himself.

Oh god, I could already tell I wasn‘t going to like the way this was going.

"Erm...What is it?" I asked warily, making sure to keep my voice low.

"Alright then, I guess you're in on the escape plan here. On one condition." He smirked at me with a mischievous glint in his eye.

That smirk just solidified my previous notion, I really wasn’t liking where this was going.

The young man continued, "You're gonna owe me one. You aren't gonna know when, where, or why, but I'm gonna call you up for a favor."

I smiled inwardly, this was great! He didn't have my real name, he didn't have my number, he didn’t know where I lived, he didn't have anything that could lead to me or my whereabouts or who I was!

I nodded quickly and replied gruffly, "Deal." I held out my hand and he shook it firmly but briefly.

"Alright then, here's the deal Raymond," he poked me in the forehead for some odd reason and then turned around, "This mansion consists of four floors, the bottom floor and the top floor having the most security, right now we're on the bottom floor. But, I've arranged for the guards to be light in the southern wing and the western wing." He paused and looked at me for a moment, "You keeping up here?"

I nodded, "southern and western wing, got it." I was trying to pay as much attention as possible, even if the details were a bit boring.

"Good, now, at the moment I'm dressed in more casual clothing and less likely to be mistaken as a burglar...unlike yourself...you really could have picked something a little less obvious," the boy pointed out, amusement apparent in his voice.

"Well sorry, I didn't plan on being seen, and I definitely didn't want this giant ordeal., I shot back a little loudly, causing the young man's gaze to dart to the door behind me and back.

"Keep it down will ya? Man, you're a real rookie aren’t you?" he said with a hint of sarcasm and less amusement in his tone.

Rookie…?

The term stung my pride, since I'd been pulling off meager thievery for six years now, so who was he to criticize me? Yeah, so I had underestimated the job a bit, so sue me.

I shook it off and motioned for him to continue with his annoying little explanation.

"The guy who lives here has a grandson staying with him right now. But he isn't exactly a little kid, since he's actually seventeen, but the point is if you do somehow get caught, lose that hat of yours and play it off as if you're a lost guest. Got it?" I nodded, knowing all too well that this part of the plan wasn't going to work. But I didn't mind, since I wasn't going to get caught. And even if I did get caught, I'd improvise.

"In the room across the hall is a resting area for the staff members, you know, maids and butlers and such. So steer clear of there. Where we're going to be headed is the door to the left of this room, which is a billiard room, but it's practically untouched."

Who would've guessed? The old windbag didn't fancy a game of pool now and again...

I rolled my eyes inwardly at the thought of the cranky old man playing pool or cards or anything considered mutually fun. Not the easiest thing to imagine, I had to admit.

However, my thoughts were scrambled as the boy continued to explain the plan to me, "On the back wall of the billiard room is a book case, of which has an offset book mixed in with a well-balanced variety of similar subjects. So, this is where you come in handy." I raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Really now? I'm practically farting rainbows over here," I stated sarcastically, and saw a smile crack over him at my reply.

"Hmm, sounds painful," he stated casually, almost to where I didn't catch what he had said and then moved on, "Anyway, you'll be looking for the right book, while I take care of other business regarding the billiard room. You got all that?" The boy poked me in the forehead again, and I blinked several times, thoroughly confused as to why he kept poking my forehead. Was it supposed to emphasize his point?

I cleared my throat, assuring my deep voice's continuance, "Yeah, yeah, I got it."

"Okay then, let's get this thing goin'." The boy reached past me and pulled the door open, practically pulling me toward him with the door. If I didn't know he thought I was a guy I would've thought he was trying to hit on me.

"H-hey! Watch it!" I stated fiercely, side-stepping into the open doorway.

When I looked up at the boy he looked a bit startled at something behind me, willing me to twirl around and face whatever had shocked him. My eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. Directly in front of the employee lounge was a large looking man with no hair and so many muscles that there was no way he wasn't on steroids. It was odd to see him dressed as a butler, but that didn't stop him from intimidating the crap out of me.

I was practically frozen from shock and fear, fear of being pummeled by a butler on steroids.

Unexpectedly, I felt hands on my shoulders from behind me. "I got him!" The young man shouted from behind me, then put a firm arm around the front of my neck putting me in a solid choke hold.

I could feel my eyes widen in a mixture of surprise and horror. This couldn’t be happening.

The butler looked as confused as I was shocked. "Henry told me you guys have had a few break-ins lately, but this guy was keeping me held up in the billiard room for at least an hour now, I thought I was gonna die in there." The boy sounded thoroughly sincere, making me curse inwardly. Damn it, he was good.

This kid was spouting off nonsense! He was completely selling me out!

The butler suddenly looked completely understanding and ripped me forward and away from the young man's grasp. Holding my arms in a death grip behind my back while suddenly kicking my legs out from under me and pinning me to the floor. "So you were actually the one to catch the little thief were you. Humph, I never would have suspected one of Henry's friends to be the one to catch a thief.”

Yeah, well it's pretty easy to do when you're a thief yourself and want to save your own neck.

I thought this bitterly, enjoying the minty smell of the rug...wait, why the hell was the floor minty? I shook the thought from my head, as the steroid butler lifted me from the ground with one hand and laid me on my feet.

"Hey! Down Bigfoot! Me no harm Bigfoot, me come in peace, me bring jerky." I retorted in a rush of anger and frustration, forgetting "Bigfoot" here could kill me with one punch.

I got a nice little reminder that he could kill me with one punch when he slammed me against the wall, knocking me senseless for a whole minute if not more.

"Well Henry's in the dining room right now if you'd like to go let him know you're alright, I'll take this trash outside." The butler pulled me away from the wall and began to force me down the hallway unnecessarily, since I wasn't putting up much of a fight.

I glanced behind me to the young man who shrugged with a partially sympathetic look in his eyes as he mouthed the words: "You owed me one."

Ugh, the underhanded son of a bitch...I knew I shouldn’t have gone for that deal.

I was forced to look forward again and move nice and easy down the hallway, with steroid-could-kill-me-with-one-punch-Bigfoot-butler. All the while thinking:

How the hell am I getting out of this one?