These Bright Lights Have Always Blinded Me

Belladonna's P.O.V.

"Come on, time to wake up..." I dimly heard a male voice whisper in my ear.
I groaned and curled up on my side, intent on blocking the voice out. A chuckle was my reply and I felt a pair of lips trail kisses down my neck from my ear. I sighed happily as I relaxed into the feeling.
"C'mon Belle, sweetheart, you have school," the same voice from before cooed.
I rolled over towards the voice and was greeted by a warm chest. I pressed my face into the chest and snuggled in close. Arms wrapped themselves around my waist and I rested my hands on the warm chest.
"Belle...I know you're awake...time to get up," Gerard said softly.
His hands started to trace patterns on my back and I felt the muscles in my back and arms melt and I relaxed completely in Gerard's embrace.
"Belle...don't make me tickle you," Gerard threatened playfully.
I froze, he wouldn't dare...
Groggily, I forced my eyes open and I woke to see Gerard's face smiling down at me mischievously.
"Morning sunshine," he chirped.
I yawned and promptly gave him the finger. He laughed and playfully pushed me away.
"That was mean," he pouted.
Whatever, you know you love me.
"God knows why," he teased.
It's my sexy booty.
"Oh yeah, can't keep my hands off it," Gerard said sarcastically.
You know I'm irresistible, don't deny it.
Gerard jumped out of the bed and pulled me up with him. I stumbled up and into his arms and he promptly pinned me against his dresser. I looked up at him in surprise and he smiled down at me with a spark in his eyes.
"You are very irresistible," Gerard growled lowly.
He buried his face in my neck and lightly began to nip and suck at the flesh as his hands trailed up and down my sides and back. I felt my knees go weak and my arms circled around Gerard's neck as I tilted my head back slightly.
It was at this moment that Mikey barged in.

"Whoa! Guys! It's seven am! Bit early!" he cried, shielding his eyes.
I sighed and Gerard pulled away from my neck. I gave him a quick peck before pulling out of his embrace. Gerard sighed heavily but then smirked proudly.
What is it Gee?
He chuckled quietly then bent down to my ear.
"That's a very sexy hickey you've got there," he whispered.
I immediately put my hand up to my neck and I gently hit Gerard.
Bad Gerard!
"Whatcha gonna do? Gonna spank me? Punish me?" Gerard whispered seductively in my ear.
I felt a rush of heat warm my cheeks and I lightly pushed him away. Gerard laughed loudly and turned away from me, grinning.
"Is it okay to look now?" Mikey asked childishly.
"Yes, it's safe," Gerard assured him.
Mikey peeked through his fingers and then dropped his hands.
"Phew," he breathed in relief.
I walked over to him, trying to disguise the limp I had. The sudden pursing of his lips and frown told me I hadn't done good enough.
"What did they do this time?" Mikey asked.
I ducked my head and sighed.
Not much really...considering how angry they were.
"Why were they so angry?" Mikey asked.
Gerard looked down guiltily.
My parents don't like me getting home late.
"Sorry," Gerard mumbled, looking at me saddened and guilty.
Don't you dare apologise Gerard!
"Bells...when are you going to DO something about this?" Mikey asked.
I could smell a fight brewing and internally I started to cry. I hated fighting with Mikey, and I hated how, nowadays, we had fights almost every day.
Mikey, I can deal with this. It's only for a few more months anyway. Then I can leave.
"Goddamn it Bells! They're going to fucking kill you! Why can't you just fucking let someone fucking help you for once in your fucking life?!" Mikey shouted.
Anger and annoyance flared up in me, what the hell did he think he was saying?! If I wasn't letting people help me then why was I here instead of letting my parents beat the shit out of me?!
Contrary to what you believe, I HAVE fucking been letting people help me. If I wasn't then why the fuck am I here?!
"But you have a fucking Get Out Of Jail Free card, why can't you fucking take it?!" Mikey cried in frustration.
Because I want to fucking stay with the people who keep me alive! I want to stay with you and Gerard and Ray and Frank and Donna and James! If I go to family services they'll just send me to some family on the other side of the fucking country and I don't fucking want that! I'm fucking sor-ry that I want to stay here with you guys and actually be HAPPY for once in my fucking life!
With that I shoved past Mikey and walked out of the Way's house.

"So..remind me again, why are we ditching school?" Ray asked me as we walked to the abandoned park where Gerard found me, one and a half months ago.
Because I can't stand to be around Mikey at the moment.
"Did you have another argument?" Ray asked quietly.
I nodded silently. I walked into the park with Ray and he paused when he saw where we were. The slide was somewhat clean thanks to rain, but if you looked closely you could see a slight difference in the colour shades where my blood had run down it and stained it. Ray looked at me uneasily and I ignored the look and sat on the rusty set of swings.
"You and Mikey have been fighting a lot lately..." Ray murmured hesitantly.
Yeah, I know...I hate it. Even more so, I hate that he just wants the best for me but neither option of the argument is the best.
"You realise that made virtually no sense, right?" Ray said.
I sighed.
What I mean is that, with our arguments, it's always about the same thing but neither my side of the argument or his side of the argument is going to give me the best outcome, which is what Mikey wants. The best option is both of them combined. If that makes any sense.
"Yeah it kinda does, but it would be more helpful if I knew what the argument was about," Ray said, looking at me curiously.
I looked at my feet, encased in an extremely battered pair of Converse.
Note to self: Must write a complimentary note to the Converse company for making such excellent quality shoes.
If you tell anyone I will personally hunt you down and torture you, painfully and slowly. You may or may not be able to have kids afterwards. IF you survive.
"I swear on Boy's life that I won't breathe a word," Ray said seriously.
I stared him in the eye and then assured that he meant it, I nodded. I sat back on the swing and I carefully peeled the hem of my hoodie and shirt up to just below my bra. Ray gasped as I revealed a collage of black, blue, purple and red on my stomach.
"What the fuck?" Ray whispered.
His finger lightly grazed over a harsh gash in my side and I winced at the sudden shot of pain. He apologised and pulled his hand away. Suddenly, his hands lashed out and latched onto the swing chains either side of my head and he stared at my face with eyes that were blazing with fury.
"Who the fuck did this to you?! I'll fucking tear them apart! Molecule from fucking molecule!" Ray growled.
I could almost see smoke coming out of his ears.
My parents.
I saw a shocked look come over his face and he looked at me confused.
"But...that's...that's...not what families do..." he denied, he looked almost tormented.
That's what Mikey's and my arguments are about. He wants me to tell someone but I don't want to because they'll ship me off to some other family on the other side of the country and I can't leave you guys. You keep me alive.
"Can't you just live with one of us?" Ray asked.
I half live at Gerard and Mikey's, but I feel so bad for using their hospitality so much. Particularly as Donna's doing it alone.
"Pay rent, duh," Ray said.
I sighed and looked down at the ground.
I don't have enough money for that. I'd have to drop out of school for that.
"Oh...why?" Ray asked.
Because I pay the bills at home with my salary now, leaving maybe $5 left over. I'd need to apply for another job, and I'm already working 4 days a week at Starbucks, and on and off at several other places. I just can't afford the several hundred for rent.
"This is so fucking ridiculous! You're 17 and already paying the bills! You shouldn't be dealing with that shit yet. How long have you been paying bills?" Ray asked.
I don't know...awhile...
"How long?" Ray asked again.
Three or four years...maybe five...I don't really remember...
"So you would've been...fuck, twelve years old! Shit Bella..." Ray said and then pulled me into a hug.
"Deseo que esto nunca le había sucedido, usted no merece esto," I heard him mutter.
(A/N: Ray said: I wish this had never happened to you, you don't deserve this)
What the fuck was that? Was that like Greek or something?
Ray laughed quietly.
"No, Spanish. Sorry it just kinda slipped out. I'm Puerto-Rican and the national language is Spanish," Ray explained.
That's cool! I'm just plain old American.
"That's not so bad. You could be like...I dunno...some other weird country," Ray said.
I raised an eyebrow at him.
Since when does one person become a country?
Ray shoved me lightly.
"You know what I meant!" he said exasperatedly.
I laughed and nodded.
"So, why did you bring me here?" Ray asked.
I tilted my head to one side inquiringly.
"Like...why the park where you...y'know...tried to...kill yourself?" Ray asked.
It's a good place to think. I like thinking here. Even though it's kind of creepy.
"Creepy alright," Ray muttered under his breath.
I grinned wryly.
"Do you wanna know where I go when I wanna think?" Ray asked.
Yeah, that'd be cool.
Ray grabbed my hand and pulled me up from the swing and started to run, pulling me along behind him.

We finally stopped at a skate park. I laughed, out of breath.
I should've known.
Ray grinned at me sheepishly and waved at a few of the skaters. They waved back and some started to come over. I looked at them uneasily and then back up at Ray. I fingered the hood that was lying flat over my back and then flicked it up over my head.
"Yo, Ray! Where you been at?!" A guy with short, spiked green hair greeted Ray.
"Yeah, man. Been ages since you been 'round!" A different guy with long dreadlocks declared.
"This your doll? She why you haven' been 'round?" A guy with electrifying blue eyes and long dark hair asked.
Ray gave the last guy a harsh glare and put his hand on my shoulder.
"She's just a friend, and kindly do not refer to her as someone's 'doll'. She's not something you can own," Ray growled.
The boy rolled his eyes at him
"What's suddenly gotten you all respectful? I remember the days where you'd refer to your chick as your property. If anyone so much as touched her you'd flip and tell them not to touch, and I quote 'your fucking property'," he said.
I looked at Ray questioningly. He just glared at the guy and for a moment I was somewhat intimidated by the hate in his eyes.
"Things change. I grew the fuck up, now it's your turn," Ray snarled.
Blue-Eyes looked at me and scowled.
"So what? You meet this doll and turn into a 'real man'?" he sneered mockingly.
I looked at the guy and glared. He was an A grade dick.
"As a matter of fact, yes," Ray said simply.
"You're a fucking pussy," Blue-Eyes said, curling his lip up in distaste.
Ray tensed up and I knew he wanted nothing more than to punch this guys face in.
"I'd rather be a 'fucking pussy' than you," Ray muttered.
Blue-Eyes' eyes flashed angrily and he walked up to Ray. Ray shoved me slightly behind him and Green-Hair stepped in between them, somewhat timidly.
"Now, look guys--"
"Got something to say about me cunt?" Blue-Eyes spat, cutting off Green-Hair.
"Fuck off. Take off the big, tough guy facade. We all know it's a show," Ray sneered contempuously.
"Fuck you mate, two months ago you came here bragging how you finally got your little whore to blow you and you didn't need her anymore and then you meet this dirty, little--" Blue-Eyes' little tirade was cut off by Ray's fist slamming into his mouth.
Blue-Eyes, Green-Hair, Dreadlocks and I stared at him in surprise.
"Get the fuck outta here before you say something you'll regret. I really don't want to have to put you down," Ray said quietly, but you'd be stupid to say he was calm.
I saw a slight glimmer of fear flicker over Blue-Eyes' face, and to be honest, I wasn't surprised. If Ray had looked at me like that then I probably would have melted into a puddle. Blue-Eyes quickly masked his fear and looked at me. He gave me a nod and then blew me a kiss before skating off.
"Fuck, I hate that motherfucker?!" Ray hissed, whirling around to face Dreadlocks.
You're one fucking scary Puerto Rican.
"Thanks...I think..." Ray laughed forcibly.
Ray slung his arm over my shoulders and sighed.
"If I'd have known he was going to be here I never would have brought you here. Why is he here?" Ray added as an afterthought.
"Dude! Skate Park Championships! They're in a couple of weeks! He's training to win it," Green-Hair explained.
Ray snorted derisively.
"He doesn't have enough talent to win. No matter how hard he tries," Ray spat.
"He's improved a lot from last year man...he has a real good chance this year..." Dreadlocks said hesitantly.
"Fuck that shit, he's not going to win. I'll be in tomorrow," Ray said determinedly.
"You going now?" Dreadlocks asked.
"Yeah, not gonna keep her around him. I might lose my control and do something I really regret," Ray said, his eyes following Blue-Eyes's every move with a glare of hatred.
"Whass her name?" Green-Hair asked.
Ray's eyes flickered to him.
"Ask her yourself," Ray snapped.
"Dude, chill!" Green-Hair said defensively.
I'm Belladonna. Just call me Bells.
I forced a smile for them and they both nodded at me.
"Trent," Green-Hair introduced.
"Max," Dreadlocks replied, giving me a smile.
"Later losers," Ray said, giving them a fist bump.
"Fuck you man!" Max laughed.
"Nah, I go for chicks!" Ray replied.
"Get outta here!" Trent grinned.
Ray gave them a lopsided grin and nodded before taking my elbow and leaving.