These Bright Lights Have Always Blinded Me

Gerard's P.O.V.

I gazed down at Belladonna's peaceful, sleeping face and I smiled. I was so lucky to have her, I'd never told anyone about what my Gramps did to me for fear that they'd think of me as unclean or dirty or something. When I told Belle, I admit, I was a bit nervous because I couldn't bear to face the rejection she was surely going to respond with, but of course she wasn't like the other girls and completely accepted me and my history. She will never know how grateful I am for her not shunning me.
Belladonna made a small sighing noise and turned over onto her back with her head facing me. I gently brushed the hair away from her face and gently traced the contours of her face with the pad of my thumb. A small smile made her way onto her face and I found myself smiling in return. There was just something about her, something that made me release all that gooey, mushy, lovey-dovey shit inside me. Something about her made me feel for her in other ways to the other women I'd been with. I knew that it was ridiculous to think that we would last forever and fall in love and have a nice big family or whatever, but somehow an image of us together...married, just kept popping in my mind. She would make the best mother, I could tell by the way she comforted Frank the other day.
Belle stirred in the bed next to me and grunted slightly. A smile spread over my face and I looked down at her fondly.
"Morning Sugar," I murmured.
Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at me blearily.
"Mornin'," she croaked softly.
My heart jumped and my smile broadened. I was glad she was speaking, even if she only said a little bit, it meant that she was getting better. I bent down and kissed her forehead lightly and gently flicked her nose.
"So was I right?" I asked, looking down at her amused.
I was, of course, referring to the fact that she wouldn't want sex now that she had slept on it and would be thinking with a clear, rational mind.
She looked at me confused for a second and then realisation dawned in her eyes and a blush coloured her cheeks. I laughed quietly at her embarrassment and kissed her temple. She looked away and nodded shyly.
"I'm sorry," she whispered softly.
"Sugar, you have nothing to apologise for. I'm just thankful you're not waking up with regrets," I said, laying on my back.
She turned and looked at me with a peculiar look. I raised my eyebrow in question and she bit her lip before shaking her head and smiling at me. I interpreted that as a 'don't worry' before grinning at her.
"Ready to meet Grandma?"

Belladonna's P.O.V.

I waited patiently next to Gerard as he knocked on his grandmother's front door. I wasn't really nervous, I was more eager to meet the woman Gerard spoke so highly of. The door opened to reveal a woman in her early 70's. She had soft, snow white hair that fell around her face in short waves and gentle, brown eyes that held a twinkle. Her face lit up happily when she saw us and Gerard's face completely transformed into a grin of adoration and love.
"Surprise!" he announced, stepping forwards and hugging her warmly.
"Gerard!" she said, delighted.
She hugged him back and then kissed his cheek. She pulled back and held him at arms length.
"Good to see you, how have you been?" she asked.
"Good Grandma...in fact...I would like you to meet my girlfriend, Belladonna. Belle, this is my Grandma, Elena," Gerard replied, placing his hand on the small of my back.
Elena smiled at me warmly and I smiled shyly back.
It's a pleasure to meet you Elena. I've heard a lot about you.
Elena's eyes crinkled at the corners and her eyes became even more welcoming.
"As I you, Bella," she replied.
I was glad she wasn't averse to me writing instead of talking.
"Gerard here hasn't shut up about you since he met you, what, 4 months ago?" Elena, looked at Gerard enquiringly.
I glanced at him curiously. What did Elena mean by that?
Gerard's face was starting to turn red and I chuckled.
"Yeah, and he would always talk about how beautiful you were, and how perfect you were. It was like he'd never really appreciated anyone before he met you. You became his inspiration for songs, comics and artworks. He always remembered anything you had told him, he was pretty jealous of Mikey sometimes," Elena laughed.
She had taken me by the arm and walked into her house and settled me down in a chair. Gerard had followed after, blushing madly.
"Grandma, you can stop now..." he moaned in embarrassment.
Elena looked at me cheekily and asked,
"Would you like me to stop?"
I shook my head, eager to hear more.
"Oh God...guys, I'm going to my room! Come get me when it stops being perfectly acceptable for me to dig hole and sink into it," Gerard muttered.
I grinned at Gerard and he looked at me before blushing and turning away.
"He even wrote poetry--"
"Grandma! Please!" Gerard begged.
"I thought you were going to your room?" Elena asked.
"I'm going! Don't worry! I'm going! But please Grandma..." Gerard pleaded.
"--and drew a picture of you so that he would always have a memory of you," Elena finished.
I looked up at Gerard, and he sneaked a glance at me.
How come you never told me?
"Because it's stupid. It doesn't look anything like you," Gerard mumbled.
May I please see it?
Gerard sighed and nodded.
"Come with me," Gerard sighed.

He took me up to his room and opened a drawer on his bedside table and pulled out a piece of paper. He looked at it before sighing and passing it to me. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped. My hand automatically went up to cover my mouth as I saw the perfection in my hands. My hair was long and silky as it curled around my waist. My eyes were the most perfect shade of blue and were sparkling with life and my mouth was spread into a warm grin. My skin was perfect with only the slightest indication there were scars. My nose sat perfectly balanced on my face and I looked like...a princess. I looked...beautiful.
I looked up at Gerard, my eyes shining with unshed tears.
Gee...this is amazing...she's so perfect...so beautiful...
"You're amazing, you're perfect and you're beautiful," he murmured, looking over at me.
I could see the honesty in his eyes and it made my heart melt.
Gee...I'm not, and this girl you've drawn is too perfect, too beautiful to be me...
Gerard pulled me over to a mirror and stood behind me. I could feel his chest against my back and he pushed the hair out of my face and held the picture up beside my face.
"That's how I see you. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen..." he breathed in my ear.
I turned his face to mine and kissed him softly, trying to express how much what he said meant to me. His hand rested lightly on my neck, circling across my body, keeping me close to him.
"Gerard! Bella! I made you guys some lunch!"
We pulled away after only a few moments and stared at each other for a moment. Something in that moment changed something inside us. It seemed like a 'significant moment'. You know those ones that change your life forever? This was one of them. We stared into each others eyes and for a moment it felt like we were part of each other. Like 2 halves of a whole.
"We'd better go," Gerard breathed lightly.
I nodded wordlessly and slowly broke the magic around us.

We went downstairs to see Elena had quickly whipped up a whole tray of food.
"Grandma, you didn't have to do all of this for us!" Gerard protested.
"Of course I did! You're my grandson who's finally bringing a girl over for me to meet!" Elena said.
"I never would have brought her over if I'd known you were going to embarrass me," Gerard mumbled.
"Pish-posh! Of course you would have! Now, Gerard go wash your hands, Bella, may I have a quick word?" Elena asked.
Gerard frowned but went to wash his hands. I looked at Elena apprehensively.
"How long have you been in love with Gerard?" she asked me bluntly.
My mouth dropped and I stared at her. In love?
Excuse me, but I think you made a mistake. I'm not in love with Gee, I really, really like him, but I'm not in love with him. I don't even know what love is!
Elena gave me a knowing smile.
"You are...you just can't see it yet," Elena said.

After lunch, Elena left us in the house while she went to grab a few things down the shop. She had asked Gerard and I to listen to some music a friend of hers had composed. Which was why Gerard was setting a record down on a gramophone and carefully placing the needle on the record. A haunting melody broke out at once.
It spun around the room, releasing its magic in the air. I closed my eyes as the music wrapped me up in a tender blanket. The beautiful sound danced gently around me, compelling me to move to the notes of the music. It was gentle, uplifting, inspiring and beautiful. I imagined myself wearing a long, flowing gown and dancing around a beautiful golden ballroom with a handsome partner. Suddenly, that partner was real.
My eyes fluttered open to see Gerard's face near mine. He had one arm around my waist and the other interlaced with mine. My spare hand went to his shoulder and he looked down at me. His hair framed his face and brought out the intensity in his hazel eyes. Gerard pulled me close and we began to move in synchronisation. Our eyes stayed on each other, never wandering. We slowly moved in a slow circle on the spot. Gerard slowly and gently spun me out and I closed my eyes as I twirled in his hands. He pulled me back into him and then dipped me low. I moved with him and let my body arch and lower. One leg raised itself into air, lining up with my body as the other stayed lightly on the ground. The arm that had previously been holding onto Gerard's shoulder dropped down and stretched out. Gerard pulled me back up and I stared into his eyes. His hands went to my waist and he pulled me closer to him. My arms circled his neck and we spun around the room, slowly, dancing to the music.

When the music stopped we stopped as well but stayed in each others arms. Gerard bent his head down to rest his forehead on mine. Our hair tangled together and our breaths mingled but our eyes still stayed locked on each other.
"I don't know what it is about you...You're just...just...you, I guess. So different, so unique," Gerard seemed to be struggling for the right words to say, but sometimes situations don't need words.
I untangled one hand from his neck and pressed it to his lips.
"Don't," I whispered.
Gerard looked at me searchingly, then smiled.
"I have something I want to give you, it's something I've been working on for awhile now. Wait here," Gerard said, pulling away from me, looking excited.
I laughed and nodded. He turned away and raced up to his room. I smiled and curled up on a chair.
Moments later Gerard came racing down with a small, rectangular, book-like thing in his hands. I peered at it curiously and held out my hands for it.
"Nah-uh, uh, uh, uh. Hold on a minute," Gerard chided playfully.
I rolled my eyes in pretend annoyance and he grinned.
"Okay, so, I've been working on this for awhile and it's a three-hundred and sixty-six page day planner kind of thing. Except, it's not done by dates, it's done by days, so you can start it whenever. And on each day is a small message I wrote and a small artwork that I did. I have one requirement, you only look at one page per day," Gerard said.
I nodded slowly in agreement and he smiled. He handed the book over and I held it in my hands. On the front page was a photo of Gerard and I that Alicia had taken. It was the one where he'd picked me up bridal style on our first date and I had my arms wrapped around his neck as we both smiled at the camera. I smiled widely and flipped over to the next page. In the corner there was a small box, about an inch squared, and in there was a picture of a man and a woman, with blood on their faces. Their eyes were closed and the girl looked somewhat sad while the man looked determined. Underneath was the title of the piece; 'Demolition Lovers II'. Next to it, in Gerard's handwriting was a message, "Keep smiling, the world's a brighter place when you do."
I looked up at Gerard and hugged him tightly.
"You like it?" he asked, slightly nervously as he wrapped his arms around me.
"Love it," I answered softly.
I felt his smile grow on my neck.

"Bye Grandma, thanks for everything today," Gerard called out as we walked to his car.
"Anytime you two. And Bella?" Elena called out.
I turned and raised my eyebrows in question.
"Don't forget what we discussed and also, you shouldn't hide your scars. You're a strong girl, you should show it," Elena called back.
My smile faltered for a moment but I nodded and put it back automatically.
"What talk?" Gerard asked me curiously, stepping into the car.
I shrugged and slid into the passenger seat.
Just a quick talk Elena and I had earlier.
"Okay...if you're sure?" Gerard looked at me with concerned hazel eyes.
I nodded as a familiar flutter went through my heart. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and nodded, smiling.
Gerard started the car and we both waved to Elena in the doorway. We pulled out of the driveway and began the drive home.

The entire way was silent. It wasn't uncomfortable, we were just deep in our thoughts. Gerard had his hand in mine and I was permanently smiling. I was thinking about what Elena said about me and I looked at Gerard. My expression softened as I drank in the sight of him. The perfect curve of his mouth, the very slight bump on his nose, the beautiful colour of his eyes, the long lashes that any girl would kill for, the almost flawless, vampiric skin and lastly his long, silky, ebony hair.
"That's kinda creepy," he said, glancing at me with a crooked grin.
My face flushed red and I looked at the floor when I realised I'd been caught staring at him. Gerard laughed, the sound ringing warmly through the car and then it suddenly hit me. I don't know how I came to the conclusion or why...I just knew.
I loved Gerard.
I looked at him in shock and wonder and he glanced at me. His expression changed to a frown and he looked at me confused.
"What? What is it?" he asked.
I looked out the window, we were almost at the Way's place. I turned to him and realised how much it made sense. Why I trusted him like I did, why he could give me butterflies and tingles while no one else could, why I wanted to speak for him.
"Are you okay, Belle?" Gerard asked, even more concerned.
I nodded and gave him a warm smile.
"Gerard?" I asked, my voice coming out strong, taking both Gerard and I off guard.
"Yes?" Gerard asked, surprise evident in his voice.
"I-..." my voice died out on me as nerves started to creep up on me.
"Yes, Sugar? You know you can tell me anything," Gerard said, squeezing my hand and rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb gently.
"I love you."