These Bright Lights Have Always Blinded Me

Gerard's P.O.V.

I watched as Belladonna walked into her house. If you could call it a house, it had smashed windows, huge cracks in the walls, a barely standing door, and huge gaps in the roof. It looked dirty and cold and you could lose yourself in the overgrown tangle of weeds that was meant to be the garden. I sighed and looked at all the houses in the street. I had to admit, Belladonna's house looked in good nick compared to these. I shook my head sadly and drove back home. It saddened me to think she was living in such a place. This was a really shit place to be. There were drug addicts, alcoholics, thieves, prostitutes, the bad people here. Something I'd never want a child of mine to be around.

As soon as I stepped inside the sweet aroma of homemade pizza filled my nose. I groaned in delight and I held up my arms and in a zombie-like fashion I made my way into the dining room.
"Fooood..." I moaned.
My mother laughed and said,
"Dinner's almost ready. Did...did...that girl make it home alright?"
"Yeah, Belladonna made it home fine," I replied.
"That's good. She has a pretty name. What's she like?" She asked.
"She's...quiet, but she's really nice," I said.
"She's a mute. But she's really, really cool. She likes the Misfits, Iron Maiden, Pantera, Black Flag, The Smashing Pumpkins, Queen, Guns N' Roses, Metallica, Nirvana, Van Halen and Led Zepplin! I mean sure, some of those bands aren't really all that great in my opinion, but she's heard of them and likes them and the kind of music we like! And she loves Italian food. And she plays the guitar, drums, piano, bass, violin, cello, and she says she can play the guitar by using a violin bow. How she can do that I don't know but still, she's amazing. And she's really artistic and smart, and she helped me too. This morning I ran into her and she helped me find my way to school and you know Damien and his gang? Well he turned up and was about to start shit with us and I'm there with Bells and then she spits at him! She starts the fight and then when she ends it, he's on the ground crying like a pussy! And then she dragged me off and you know her family is fucked up!" Mikey was talking a mile a minute and was cut off by Mom telling him to watch his language.
Mikey laughed sheepishly,
"Sorry Mom. But anyway. In her family, showing affection of any kind is totally frowned upon! Like it'll kill them to give each other hugs. She also told me that hadn't even been hugged before! Now what kind of family is like that?! She says that if she shows affection of any kind, even as little as patting someone on the back in congratulations or holding someone's hand is worthy of punishment. She says she gets screamed at if she shows any affection at all! That's so fucked up!"
"Mikey..." Mom warned.
It was interesting finding all this out about Belladonna. It explains a couple of things about her, like when she freaked out when I put my hand on hers in the car.
"Sorry Mom...again. But still! And she says she never takes her hood off. She says it's to hide herself and protect herself. It makes me wonder, what does she have to hide? I know she has physical scars to hide, but what else could she be hiding from. She says the world and that she feels protected with her hood up but I don't get it, what or who does she need to hide from? Why does she feel the need to be protected? She's really pretty too!" Mikey continued.
My eyes flashed to him immediately and I felt a tiny flare of irrational jealousy course through me. I quickly quenched it though.
"When we knocked into each other she fell to the ground and her hood came off. She has really long, silky-looking blonde hair and blue eyes. I didn't really see much more but I could tell she was beautiful," Mikey said.
He had finally finished talking and now he was panting. Mom laughed.
"Well, Belladonna sounds like quite the girl," she said.
"She's amazing. She cares. She doesn't really show it, but she does care, a lot," Mikey said softly.
Mom raised an eyebrow at me. I knew we were both thinking the same thing.
"Sounds like Mikey has a crush," Mom teased.
Mikey looked at us confused.
"On Bells?" He asked.
"No, Santa Claus. Yes, Belladonna," I said sarcastically.
"Nah, I don't like her like that. Besides, I've only known her for one day. And she's 2 years older than me and it would be a bit weird for me to date her knowing that. I don't know why...it just would," Mikey said.
"Age is but a number," I said.
"Yeah...but I don't know..." Mikey said.
"Anyway, boys, I'm glad you've both made a new friend. Eat up and don't let it go cold. I spent hours on this pizza," Mom said.
She came out of the kitchen and brought out the plates of food. My mouth watered at the sight of such deliciousness.
"Mom, I love you!" Mikey and I chorused.
Mom just laughed as we tucked into our dinners.

After dinner Mikey did the dishes and I retired into my basement. I sat on the bed and pulled out Belladonna's diary and held it in my hands. My fingers itched to read more, but my morality was fighting me. I knew I shouldn't read it and that I should respect Belladonna's privacy but I was so...intrigued by her. I decided just to fuck it and read it. I already had it anyway. I opened it up to the second page and started reading.
Dear Diary,
I asked Papa what I had done wrong but he didn't tell me. He just got angry at me and yelled at me before grabbing my arm and pushing me into my room. My arm really hurts now. I have bruises on my arm where he held onto me. It was only an accident though. Papa didn't mean to hurt me. He is a good daddy. I love my Papa. I want him to love me as well. Which is why I must be as quiet as possible. My Mommy was crying today. I don't know why. Why was she crying? Does she have a sore? Or does it hurt inside? Sometimes I hurt inside. Sometimes it hurts so much I cry. I don't like to cry. Papa says crying is for the weak. I am not weak. I am strong. I will show Papa I am strong. I will never cry. Papa says that touching people means you're weak. I am not weak. I am strong. I will prove it to Papa by never ever touching anyone ever again. I am tired now. Goodnight.
Belladonna

My heart ached inside for Belladonna. At such a young age she started proving to her father that she was strong, and going about it the wrong way too. I closed the diary and set it aside for a moment. I felt so bad for Belladonna. She obviously had, at one point, been a bright, young, bubbly child, but trying to prove to her father that she was 'strong' and gain his love had destroyed that and made her the withdrawn person she was today. I lay back on my bed and picked up the diary again. I looked at the cover and sighed. I knew that she had more diaries, and I knew that as she got older the content in them would become heavier and more depressing. I closed my eyes and let out a huge breath and placed the book on the floor next to my bed. I couldn't read any more of her diary, it would depress me, reading about a seven-year old losing her childhood.

I was just about to grab my sketch book when Mikey came bounding into my room. I looked up at him curiously.
"Hey Gee? Did you want to walk with me and Bells tomorrow?" he asked.
I considered it, I could give Belladonna back her diary then.
"Sure, why not?" I asked.
Mikey then noticed I was drawing.
"Oh, what are you drawing now?" He asked.
I looked down, I hadn't even realised I was drawing.
"I...don't know...my hand just started drawing for me..." I said, confused as to why I didn't know what I was drawing.
"Oh...that's...cool...Hey, I'm gonna watch a movie, wanna join?" he asked.
I looked down at my drawing, at the moment it looked like a whole bunch of random lines connected to make an irregular shape. It had the slight air of menace behind it and I didn't particularly want to see the finished product yet so I shrugged.
"May as well."