These Bright Lights Have Always Blinded Me

Belladonna's P.O.V.

I raced into school and thanked God that Mikey wasn't following me. I felt kinda bad for ditching him, but I knew he'd be okay. I stopped at my locker and collapsed against it gasping for breath. I hadn't run like that in...ever. I'd never wanted to escape that badly. I shuddered and licked my broken lips. The saliva stung the cuts and I hissed in pain slightly. I could feel my legs quivering slightly and I groaned. I knew I'd have to stand up and walk around so that my legs didn't turn to jelly. I stood up and then I remembered the tears on my face. I roughly wiped them away and walked away from the lockers.

I found myself wandering into the music room. I knew Mrs. Lyon wouldn't mind, she had told me countless times that I could come in whenever I liked to play any of the instruments. I picked up the 1958 Sunburst Les Paul Standard Electric that I always used and checked it to see if it was in tune. Thankfully it was. I paused for a moment, debating on what to play and then I decided I felt like some Metallica. I started to play the chords for Fade To Black and in my mind I could hear James Hetfield singing.
"Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel
Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he's gone

No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
Now I can't think, think why I should even try
Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye"
I stopped playing to think of my next song. I was suddenly filled with the urge to play Sad But True and before I could stop myself I started playing. I closed my eyes and let my music and my emotions flow through me into the guitar. I just wanted to forget, so that's what I did.

The bell rang for homeroom and I missed the next chord in my surprise. I looked at the clock in shock, had it been an hour already? I sighed in disappointment and stood up, carefully holding the guitar. I walked over to its stand and carefully set it down before picking up my bag and walking out of the room. I kept my head down and faded right away into the crowd. I slipped silently among the students and went back to my locker. I opened it up and looked around warily for Damien. I couldn't see him so I opened up my messenger bag and pulled out the necessary books and then slammed my locker shut, locked it and then went to homeroom.

Gerard's P.O.V.

I waited for the first class to come in end to my surprise--and delight, it was Mikey's class. I smiled warmly at him.
"Hey Mikes," I greeted him.
"Sorry, what did you say?" he asked distractedly.
I frowned, Mikey was normally very observant and rarely distracted and unfocused.
"You alright Mikes?" I asked concerned and put my hand on his shoulder.
He chewed on his lip thoughtfully.
"I'm worried about Bells," he said eventually.
I frowned.
"What do you mean?" I inquired.
What was worrying him? What was wrong with the interesting girl?
"She was limping Gee...limping badly and then we were messing around with Frank and she just suddenly froze and stood there for like 3 minutes before she realised we were there and she was trembling and crying and then she just ran off! I don't know what's going on with her..." Mikey said upset.
I looked up at Mrs. Lake and I murmured to Mikey, "Hold on a sec."
I walked up to Mrs. Lake and asked, "Mrs. Lake, Mikey's a bit upset, do you mind if I excuse us and talk to him for a bit? If the class isn't too much to handle?"
She gave me a warm, kind smile.
"Go ahead dear. This class is generally a good one, I'll have no troubles at all," she said.
"Thank you," I said gratefully.
I turned away and then walked back to Mikey. His eyes were downcast and looking at the floor.
"C'mon Mikes," I said, directing him to the door.

We sat down outside in the hall and he put his head in his hands. I put an arm over his shoulders and he sighed.
"I just...I want her to trust me. I want her to trust me with the real reason why she's limping. I wish she would trust me to show her the world. Her parents are shitty. They really are. She gets punished for showing affection. Even a black slap congrats when someone wins a prestigious award is too much. I want to see her smile, throw her hood off and show the world she's not afraid anymore. I don't mind if she doesn't talks, I'd prefer her to, but it doesn't bother me that much. I just...I just wish she'd trust me. It may sound stupid for me to get so wound up over this considering we only met yesterday, but we just, clicked. I think I was the first one to show her kindness in years, aside from James," Mikey said.
I looked at him curiously. I didn't know a James.
"James?" I asked.
"A guy that's a friend of Bells. He works with her at Starbucks," he explained dismissively.
"Oh," I said.
Mikey rubbed his eyes behind his glasses tiredly.
"Hey Gee, I think I'd better head back to class now. There's really nothing I can do here," Mikey sighed.
In that moment I decided I'd go find Belladonna.
"Mikes, don't worry about Belladonna, I'll go talk to her," I said.
He looked up, hopeful.
"You will?" he asked.
I nodded. He smiled and gave me a hug.
"Thanks big bro. Just be careful, I know you like to physically comfort the person but Bells has had it engraved in her brain to shy away from human contact. So if you touch her, she'll move away, don't take it to heart," Mikey warned.
I nodded, I'd forgotten about that so it was good to be reminded.
"So do you know what class she has?" I asked.

About 15 minutes later I was heading past the music block to get to the science block, where Belladonna should be, when I got distracted by the sound of Pink Floyd's Sorrow. I paused for a moment deliberating on whether to go straight to the science block or to take a peek and see who was playing the guitar so magnificently. My curiosity won and I peeked into the music room. The sight of Belladonna sitting there playing the guitar completely threw me. For one thing, she was meant to be in science; for another, she was playing beautifully. I realised she had the cd in and playing along and that I knew exactly where she was up to. AT the right moment I joined David Gilmour in singing,

"And he talks to the river of lost love and dedication
And silent replies that swirl invitation
Flow dark and troubled to an oily sea
A grim intimation of what is to be
There's an unceasing wind that blows through this night
And there's dust in my eyes, that blinds my sight
And silence that speaks so much louder that words,
Of promises broken"

She continued playing for the extra 2 minutes 30 seconds needed to complete the song and then stopped. She turned to me, questioning evident in the way she tilted her head to the side.
"I was just walking past when I heard Pink Floyd and I got curious..." I explained.
She nodded once and then turned away. She placed in another cd and let the song blare out. I immediately recognised it as What Do You Want From Me.
"As you look around this room tonight
Settle in your seat and dim the lights
Do you want my blood, do you want my tears
What do you want
What do you want from me
Should I sing until I can't sing any more
Play these strings until my fingers are raw
You're so hard to please
What do you want from me

Do you think that I know something you don't know
What do you want from me
If I don't promise you the answers would you go
What do you want from me
Should I stand out in the rain
Do you want me to make a daisy chain for you
I'm not the one you need
What do you want from me

You can have anything you want
You can drift, you can dream, even walk on water
Anything you want

You can own everything you see
Sell your soul for complete control
Is that really what you need

You can lose yourself this night
See inside there is nothing to hide
Turn and face the light

What do you want from me?"

She sighed and slipped the guitar strap off before setting the guitar down beside her and then picked up a pen and notepad.
What do you want Gerard?
"Mikey's a mess," I immediately blurted out.
What happened? Was it Damien? Is he okay? Does he need help?
She started to stand but I shook my head.
"Not like that. You've made him a mess," I said.
Shit, that didn't come out right.
Her head jerked back like she was insulted.
I didn't do anything! How dare you say that I've made him a mess when I haven't done anything!
"I meant that, Mikey's really worried about you. Particularly as you stormed off today without a reason," I said, attempting to diffuse the situation.
What happened is none of your business.
An image of Mikey sitting on the floor looking so defeated and upset flashed in my mind and sparked up a flame of anger.
"It is my fucking business! Whatever upsets Mikey is my fucking business! He's my fucking brother in case you haven't noticed!" I shouted.
She flinched slightly but crossed her arms.
What happens with me, and how I react to different situations is no one's business but my own. If you don't like that you can ignore me like you have done for the past 5 years.
I stood there furious and walked over to her so that I was in her face. I could see a faint glitter of blue from the shadows of her hood and I hissed,
"It's my fucking business because Mikey is doing his head in worrying about YOU!"

Belladonna's P.O.V.

I couldn't keep myself from shaking as Gerard yelled at me. He was really quite a terrifying figure when he was angry. His hazel eyes were dark and full of anger and his dark hair was falling in front of his face as he looked down at me, framing it and causing dark shadows across his face. He looked more like a vampire than a human. Plus his hands were swinging around to try and put his point across but I was terrified that one of them was going to go swinging into my body. Despite the obvious physical differences, his face kept morphing into my father's and I was terrified. Not even Damien and his crowd of goons could cause this reaction in me. I cowered back from him and held up my shaking hands to my chest, automatically trying to protect myself from a physical blow. A single tear escaped my eye and made its way down my face. I had no idea of whatmy father Gerard was saying, I was trying to block it all out.

Suddenly, I felt his hands on mine and I flinched as if I'd been hit and wrenched them out of his hands. I stepped back a few steps and looked at him fearfully. It was somewhat ridiculous to be scared of Gerard, but I couldn't help it. It had become second nature to me. His face looked horrified and remorseful. He took a step towards me and I braced myself.
"Belladonna...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...I-I shouldn't have lost my temper...please forgive me..." he begged.
His voice broke in the middle and he looked truly sorry for yelling at me. I looked at him and nodded stiffly before edging around him and escaping out the door behind him. I just couldn't be in the same room as someone who provoked such a reaction.