The Pain We Feel

As I made my way through my first two classes to my surprise Alex kept texting me. At one point he actually asked if it bother me to have him texting me a lot but I told him no I didn’t mind. I mean I loved the fact that he wouldn’t stop texting me. I didn’t tell him that part but he still got it. Then he ever told me he was glad because he liked texting and talking to me. By the time I got to third period I was perfectly happy.

I got a text right before I walked into class from Alex. He told me he had a surprise and to turn around. When I looked behind me he was there. I smiled at him then I looked around him to. I kept looking around even when we got to our seats.

“What are you looking for?” He finally asked

“I’m looking for the surprise you mentioned.” I replied.

“That’s cold Em,” He said

“Why?” I questioned.

“I was your surprise.” He said saddened and looking down.

“Alex, I was kidding I know you were my surprise. Come on don’t be sad you’re a great surprise.” I said poking at him.

He just looked up at me with a smile and I knew I was forgiven. We talked the rest of the period and didn’t get much work done. Although what was really new there I mean it was a miracle we passed the class at all. Especially now that we kept texting all the time, but was is so bad about that. Then the lunch bell rang as we walked out laughing. When it came time for him to go he did something that so unexpected for me. As I turned around to say goodbye Alex grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into a hug. It felt in a word perfect. I couldn’t see any other way to describe it. With his arms around me I felt so secure. Then all too soon it was over.

“I’ll see you later, Em.” He said. He took his phone out as he left.

I felt my pocket vibrate as I looked down to read the message, “Hey Em, ur blushing. –Alex”. Then I could feel the heat from my cheeks become known to me but I couldn’t make it cool down. Eventually I could get my feet to move to a lunch line. As I made my way to the table I suddenly remembered something, Jen was mad at me. She was there at the table though when I got there. She didn’t seem so mad anymore but maybe I was wrong.

“Hey.” I said

“Hey.” She replied but she seemed detached.

“You’re still mad at me aren’t you?” I asked.

“What do you think?” she replied harshly.

I started slowly, “I guess you have the right to be……”

“You guess I have the right to be! You guess? Emily we’re best friends and share everything with eachother. Sure we may have a few secrets, but you’re hiding something big form me and I don’t know why. You’re using his ringtone again; you’re texting someone like crazy, and your eyes looked like you had been crying for hours. What hurts me is I know nothing about? I can’t even come up with a possibility. I want to help you but I don’t know how. It’s like you just left me out of everything.” She finished. I could hear the sadness in her voice.

“Look, I’m not trying to leave you out of anything. Yes, ok, I was hiding something from you, but it was because I wasn’t even sure about it myself. I wasn’t sure about it until just now about how I really felt. I’m sorry though. You’re right I probably should have told you earlier about all that’s going on. So what do you say Jen can you forgive me?” I told her.

“Don’t I always forgive you?” She said looking up at me.

“Yeah, but sometimes I wonder if you should. I’m glad you do though because what I need to talk to you about it something I could only trust you with. Do you think you could come over after school?” I asked

“Sure, I’ll talk to my mom. Hey Emily, it has to do with him and some other guy doesn’t it?” she questioned back.

“Yeah, but that’s only about half of what’s been going on.” I replied.