Better Than Percocet

Frank sighed and laid his head against his pillow. He was so close the crying. The fuck of it was he couldn’t even tell his mom what was going on because she couldn’t know, at least not now. He really wanted a hug, but no one but him would understand and the whole problem right now was him. His phone vibrated and he jumped to check the message knowing who it was probably from.

I think I overdosed again. Mom’s calling the hospital.

This time Frank did feel tears at his eyes. He loved Gerard with all of his heart, but this was getting so hard to handle. Gerard; his boyfriend was Bi-Polar, and addicted to pain meds. He claimed to be clean, but Frank didn’t really believe it considering he’d ‘accidentally ‘overdosed twice in the past week. At some point in time a need became a want, and Frank was pretty sure his boyfriend’s needs had become wants.

It sucked balls because it wasn’t even like they lived in the same town, or even the same state. They lived halfway across the country from each other; Gerard in New Jersey, and himself in Iowa. It’s not like Frank could just drive over to his place and take Gerard himself. God did he wish he could though. He took a deep breath and started typing a reply.

I think you should admit yourself to the psych ward. You’ve been really bad the past month, and you’re only hurting yourself and me.

Frank was always somewhat afraid to be completely honest with his boyfriend. If he misunderstood one thing, or took it the wrong way then he could get really suicidal. Frank had a fear that he would say something wrong one day and Gerard would end it all. He couldn’t stand to have Gerard’s life on his conscience for the rest of his life. He had one more thing he needed to say and he started typing again before he could change is mind.

My greatest fear is that you’ll kill yourself, and I wouldn’t even be able to go to your funeral. I don’t ever want that to happen; I’m scared.

It took him a long time to reply, and Frank was terrified that Gerard had done something stupid. He really hoped those last two texts had got it into Gerard’s head how much he needed help; how much he was hurting the people who loved him. His eyes were just slipping shut when his phone vibrated again.

Mom is driving me to a psych hospital. They’re going to take my phone when I get there. I’m so sorry, and I love you.

Frank breathed a sigh of huge relief and wiped his eyes. His heart felt much lighter and he thought he might actually be able to get a good night’s sleep tonight. Knowing that Gerard was in a safe place was a wonderful feeling. He would be in a place where he couldn’t hurt himself, and where he would only get the drugs he needed.

That’s great baby. I’m so proud of you. Have your mom call me so I know what’s going on.

When he didn’t get a reply for twenty minutes he assumed they had gotten to the hospital and he didn’t have access to his cell phone anymore. He felt so much better; not queasy or scared like before. He wished he could be there to visit his boyfriend; hug him, and kiss him, but that wasn’t an option. So he would have to do the next best thing; keep in touch with Donna (Gerard’s mom), and get the hospital’s number so he could talk to Gerard in person. He couldn’t wait to hear Gerard’s voice, tell him how much he loved him, and how proud he was of him.

For the first time in months Frank felt like maybe, just maybe his and Gerard’s relationship wasn’t going to crash and burn. He hoped that Gerard getting help would be enough.