The Best Deceptions

I tried searching online for him, any sign that he was okay still. I couldn’t stomach the headlines I saw. Some reported that he was married to a nineteen year old girl, which made me laugh. Others talked about how some ’bitch’ ripped his heart out, which made me cry.

Lauren took over for me.

Ada cried, every night, I just got him! she screamed. I cried more when I was alone.

“Sarah!” Lauren screamed as she ran into the room hauling her laptop.

“You have to see this!” She said excitedly then sat the laptop in front of me. For once it didn’t make me cry, or laugh. It made my jaw drop.

Lauren clicked play on the video. It was Ville and Bam, the best smiles they could muster planted on their faces. Well there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that Bam’s wasn’t real, he lived for the sport. Ville’s was fake, I could tell by the way his eyes didn’t match his smile.

“The search is on! See, Ville here, he lost his woman. She went back to America and we’re looking for her.” Bam said excitedly.

The camera moved to Ville, “Her name is Sarah Owens.”

“And she looks like this!” Bam cut in the shoved a picture of me in front of the camera.

“Sooo, tell us where she is! Call us, e-mail us, hell, send a fucking letter, anything, just find her.” Bam said, the camera moved to Lilah.

She smiled, “Please?” She held a card with an 800 number on it.

And the video ended.

“What now?” Lauren asked, she closed the laptop.

I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my swollen eyes.

“I don’t know.” I replied, my voice groggy from sleep.

“He loves you Sarah, you know that.” She said with the utmost conviction.

I bit my lip, Ada came running into the room, her eyes bright and excited, “I heard him!!!”

I grabbed the pillow from me and buried my face in it before she could see the tears fall from my eyes.

“Mommy?! Where is he?! I heard him, I know I did!” She said, her small voice began excited with sadness dripping from every word that fell from her lips.

Place your faith into the wooden stake you wear in place of seeing you through, and you lose all your youth to prove that this life is made of time.

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Lilah turned the camera off and sat next to Bam. Sarah has made a desperate man of me. I didn’t think it was a good idea, I really didn’t. Part of me wanted to let her be but the other part, the most dominant, couldn’t live without her.

Since suicide wasn’t an option I had to get her back somehow. However desperate it was it was worth every bit of embarrassment it caused me.

My heart was broken. I’d been broken before, it wasn’t a big deal. But this? She took everything I ever needed, wanted or had…

I was desolate, completely drained of emotion, cares, and life.

Is this really your plan? To keep me lost and on my knees?