Price Check On Monogamy

Monday morning, I made sure to wake up early to avoid Caleb and Katy-- mostly Caleb, but whatever. I didn't want any questions, and I would avoid them until I couldn't anymore.

If, on the off chance, Caleb didn't know what had happened by now, he'd find out at school, anyway. I'd tell him later-- much later, with any luck-- what had happened with KIp, and... that I wasn't taking the money.

I didn't want anything from them except my undisturbed solitude.

"Tiger!" I jumped and turned, ready to fly my book at whoever the hell was outside of my house at six in the morning. I stopped short, though, when I saw Eli behind the wheel of his truck.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, jogging over to his truck and leaning through the window.

"Giving you a ride," Eli laughed, unlocking the door. "Get in."

"How long have you been waiting here?" I asked, getting into the car. As he pulled away from the curb, I raised my eyebrow at him. "Actually, how long were you planning on waiting out here?" It was just after six, and I didn't usually wake up until seven.

"I was planning on waking you up, Tiger," Eli knocked me on the head with a knuckle, making me laugh.

"Well, what do I owe this wonderful ride to?" I asked, smiling.

"Tiger, we need to ta--"

"Eli?" I cut him off as we took a wrong turn-- and started heading directly away from school. "School's that way."

Eli stopped short, and looked at me for a second, confused-- then he laughed. "Oh, that. Yeah, we're not going there today."

I laughed and shook my head. "Are you sure you wanna do that?" Not that I was going to argue against missing school, but I was starting to feel that I'd been out of school more than in school this year, and, though it still didn't feel like it, school was almost over. With finals coming up in just over three months, I was going to have to bust ass to pass-- I couldn't even imagine how hard Eli was going to have to work just to walk at his graduation.

Wow. Time flies when you're on an emotional roller coaster, apparently.

Eli just laughed. "C'mon, you don't mean that."

This is true. I smiled as we pulled over-- until I looked out the window.

"Why are we here?" I asked, the smile slipping off of my face. We were at a small, family-run restaurant. I hadn't been there in ages-- not since me and Eli used to play hookey last year. Well, me, Eli, and...

"Milo called me," Eli said quietly. When I turned to look at him, his eyes were fixed straight ahead at the road we were no longer on. "I... I think you should talk to him."

"Why are we here?" I asked again quietly, my heart sinking. Eli had never tricked me. Never.

"He... he heard some stuff yesterday," Now Eli had focused his eyes on the steering wheel, where his hands were clenched so tight that his knuckles were bone white. He was refusing to look at me.

He knew he was wrong. He knew he was wrong.

I stared at Eli for a long minute before opening the door and getting out of the car slowly.

"Your... there's clothes in the back," I turned to look at Eli, but his eyes were still fixed on the steering wheel. He was speaking out of the side of his mouth. "You left some at my house. I meant what I said about not going to school." Even if Milo doesn't come with us. The silent words hung between us as I nodded mutely and turned to grab the bag in the bed of the truck. Before I could move, however, Eli grabbed my arm tight and held me back.

"I did it because I love you both." The words were steady and so was Eli. When I turned to look at him, his deep brown eyes were dead set on mine. Easing my arm out of his grip, I didn't respond; there was nothing else to say. The truth of the matter, and I knew it, was the fact that Eli still hadn't tricked me. He was doing what he thought was right-- even if I didn't agree, even if he knew that it would hurt me. He was doing what he believed in. I couldn't stay mad at him-- I really couldn't.

Grabbing my clothes and walking into the restaurant, however, I decided that I could be mad until I walked away from this building and never came back.

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding as I walked into the restaurant and saw, miracle of all miracles, that Milo hadn't shown up yet. Slipping into the bathroom, I cursed myself silently the entire time-- so many questions were buzzing through my head.

Why do I care about how I look?
Because it's Milo.

Why do I care about how Milo thinks I look?
Because Milo's opinion was the only opinion that mattered for over a year.

Year came and went, along with his feelings.
This isn't true.

Along with his loyalty, then.
This is very true.

Then why does it matter?

I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror for a long time as I thought the question over as carefully as I could. The question was obvious-- I just didn't like the answer. Just like I didn't like the way I was dressed for such a huge, nerve-wracking experience. I didn't look overdressed; I didn't look special. In jeans and a white camisole, I looked exactly like me-- boring, short, and too small. Running a hang through my hair, I shoved my uniform into the backpack and walked out of the bathroom slowly, scanning the restaurant for any hint of Milo.

All clear.

I sat at the nearest table and smiled at the old woman who ran the restaurant with her two sons. She handed me a menu and patted me on the shoulder.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, dear. It's good to see you again." And, with a smile, she was off-- probably to start making the strawberry and whipped cream covered waffles I always, without fail, ordered when I came here.

"Is this seat taken?"

I nearly jumped out of my seat when I realized it was Milo standing next to my chair, holding flowers in one hand. I was anxious enough to puke and, strangely enough... irritated. I looked up at him dumbly-- there wasn't any build up to him coming. He'd shown up, unannounced, and caught me completely off guard.

Pain in the ass.

"Why am I here?" I asked Milo. He shifted his feet and the fake smile he'd plastered on his face slipped easily. The flowers in his hand started shaking and he started rocking slowly back and forth; it was then I realized that he hadn't sat down because he was honestly waiting for an answer. It wasn't just a rhetorical question that he'd used to get my attention, it was Milo being polite and thoughtful enough to give me one last chance to kick him out of my life without hearing him out.

My heart quivered a little-- like it wasn't to break, but it knew breaking wouldn't solve a damned thing.

"Go for it," I said finally, gesturing to the seat. Right as he was sitting down, the waitress came back out, smile in place.

"Ahh, I see we've got another blast from the past," She said cheerfully. "So what will ya' two be having?"

"Can I have the strawberry waffles?" I asked with a smile. There was just something about her that made me smile-- even with Milo, the boy I'd almost loved who'd been lying about me for the past three weeks, sitting across the table from me.

"Pancakes, please," Milo smiled up at her, too, and she was gone in a flash to have her sons prepare our food.

The silence at the table was deadening. It wasn't even that it was awkward-- it was just... absolutely silent, for the first time since we'd met each other.

"Tiger," Milo finally caved. "I--" He cut himself short when he realized, after trying to wring his hands as he usually did when he was nervous, that he was still holding the flowers. Quickly and awkwardly, he stumbled over the table and reached to put the flowers right in front of my face. "I-- I got you more flowers."

"Thanks," I said flatly, taking them and placing them on top of my bag. I didn't want flowers. I wanted answers-- and he knew it.

"I..." Milo sighed and shifted back into his seat. "Look... I know that I screwed up."

"That's a ridiculous understatement," I mumbled. Even after everything, I couldn't say things straight to Milo-- I just couldn't. I knew he'd heard me, but he knew that I hadn't been talking to him... so he ignored it.

"I just wanted to explain myself," he pushed on valiantly. Milo was staring at me, but he wasn't making eye contact-- tricky bastard had figured out a long time ago how to avoid making any close contact to someone he was afraid of hurting.

Or being hurt by.

"I need you to get to the point, Milo," I said quietly. Milo started and swallowed hard.

"Well... Eli told me. He told me everything, Tiger, and... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I did... what I did." Milo put his hand over mine, making me realize that I'd left one on the table. "I... I really want to fix things."

"Fix what?" I asked, more quietly still. I didn't move-- not an inch.

"I... I want to start over," Milo was getting more and more animated as he went on, the nervousness slowly draining out of him. It made me want to smile-- where this conversation was going, however, made that impossible. "I want to prove that, that I can be everything that you deserve. And Tiger..." His eyes sparkled, and it broke my heart. "You will always, always deserve the best."

"Milo..." But it was too soft.

"There's so much we were supposed to do," Milo kept going, "And, and now that I know the story, it's okay, right? We, we can do it all now. We're, we're perfect. The same sort of perfect we always were. We can--"

I pulled my hand from under his gently and grabbed his chin lightly, nudging him until his eyes were on mine-- then I forced my hand to stop shaking.

"Milo." My voice was soft but, too my credit, it was stable. His mouth shut instantly. "I would love to be friends. We had it all at one point, didn't we? But I don't think you realize..." I took a shaky breath and pressed on. "You told everyone I was a slut, Milo. You wouldn't listen to me and, honestly, had Eli not tricked me into coming here, I wouldn't listen to you, either. I will always be your friend, Milo. But... but we're better off as friends."

And, with that, I dropped my hand from his face-- I stood up-- and I walked out of that restaurant with as much grace as I could muster.

The scary part? I couldn't feel a thing.