Price Check On Monogamy

I didn't move for a long second. For the second time in the last five minutes, someone was holding onto me and crying.

Only, this time, it was my twin brother who had hated me for the last five years.

"Caleb?" I asked, my voice strangled. It was like if I talked too loudly, he'd wake up and shove me away, and I'd never get an answer to what the hell was going on. I hesitantly tapped his back, lightly. "Caleb, what are you talking about? What are you sorry for?"

Caleb didn't talk at first, just tightened his hold on me and dropped his head onto mine. After a long, long time-- or, at least, what felt like a long time-- Caleb pulled out of the hug slowly, shakily holding me back and away from him, then finally dropping his hands. Caleb was looking at me, but it was like he wasn't actually seeing me in front of him. He took a shaky step back, then another, and finally sunk down to sit on the bottom stair.

I took a step forward, then another, and slowly knelt down in front of Caleb. It was one of the most surreal moments of my life, and I felt like if I moved too fast, it would be gone, and I'd never get it back. "Caleb?" I asked quietly. "Caleb, what's going on?" Suddenly my heart seized up. I pressed my hand to my mouth, my breathing getting faster. "Oh my God, did something happen to mom and dad?"

Caleb blinked, once, twice, then shook his head fast, like he was finally picking up on what was going on. "No, no, it's nothing like that, alright?"

My breath wooshed out of me fast. "Oh my God, you fucking scared me! Okay, Caleb. What's going on?"

Caleb looked at me-- just looked at me, like the world was going to end and I'd just said it was going to be fine. "I know everything."

I blinked. "Everything, like... what?"

Caleb looked at me like he couldn't believe I didn't know what he was talking about. "Everything, Tiger."

I opened my mouth, then snapped it shut and scowled. Oh. "Caleb, I don't want to talk about Tandem. I just don't. I don't want you to yell. It was a stupid thing that I never should've... fallen for."

Caleb studied me for a second. "Everything, Tiger. I know everything."

Well, that made my heart skip a beat. "Me and Tandem never--"

"That's not what I mean, Tiger." Caleb said it quietly. I don't think he'd meant to cut me off, but it stopped me short, anyway. My heartrate picked up and my hands clenched at my sides.

"I don't know--"

"Tiger, shut the fuck up, you know what I'm talking about!" Caleb's face was bright red; almost as bright red as when I'd told him to just suck it up and apologize to Heather. He took a shaky, deep breath, though, and lowered his voice again. "Most of it, at least."

I held up my hands and rocked back, sitting down on the floor and crossing my legs. "Okay," I said softly. "Okay, I'll go for it. Tell me." Before he could open his mouth, I added, "And start from the beginning, Caleb." There. That should let me know just how much he knew.

Caleb studied me for a long, long time. Finally, he sighed heavily, like he was letting the world roll of his shoulders for the first time in years. "Alright, Tiger. Fine." He looked me dead in the eyes, and it was like time stood still. For the first time in years, I realized how alike me and Caleb still were-- or, at least, how alike we still looked.We'd always had the same eyes. Same profile. Same nose.It was like looking at him brought me back to elementary, when we were still best friends.

And then, he said it; the words that opened everything like a timewarp. "I never wanted Wesley to go near you."

Apparently, it was a timewarp where I had no control; it was like drifting away form my body slowly and suddenly not being able to go back. Somewhere far away, I felt myself whisper, "What do you mean? We weren't talking about Wesley."

"You said to start at the beginning." Caleb's eyes were clear now, and there was a sort of bright determination in them. He grabbed my arm and held it tight. "Tiger? I... I didn't want... I didn't mean..."

"What do you mean?" It was barely a whisper. Welsey Parker was the nightmare I'd left behind with middle school, suppressed by the best prescriptions money could buy, the best drugs money could buy, and the best therapy money could buy. No one even knew he'd existed to me but Tawny and Lexy.

And, apparently, Caleb.

Caleb tightened his hold. "Tiger, st-stay with me... I didn't... I couldn't... oh my God," Caleb's voice cracked and he pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight. I could feel him shaking-- or maybe that was me. I couldn't tell which of us was crying, anymore, now I just had to assume that it was both of us. At least I knew for sure I was.

We stayed like that for a long, long time, and I think it was because Caleb knew he didn't have to say it-- he knew he didn't have to walk me through what'd happened, because chances were he didn't know. Not the details, at least.

Wesley Parker had been Caleb and Jeremy's close friend through middle school-- like the Tandem they had in high school. And he'd been just as much of a dick, too. At the end of eighth grade, he'd gotten a scholarship to a high school in a different state, for track. Caleb and Jeremy, to celebrate their friend's luck and send him off with a bang, had thrown their first ever house party. It was the first and last party they'd ever thrown at my house.

I hadn't been invited, of course; not that I'd wanted to be invited to their stupid party. Me, Tawny, Lexy, and the twins me and Tawny were dating at the time had spent most of the night in my room, just hanging out and trying to ignore the sting of not being invited to the party that was literally going on right downstairs. Around midnight, though, they'd all called it quits and decided to go home-- to this day, I can't remember why they'd decided to leave. But I remember walking them to the door, then walking back up to my room. I took a shower and, pissed as hell that the party was still going steady at one in the morning, I'd planned on trying to get some sleep to ignore them all. Turns out, that wasn't going to happen.

"Tiger, where you been?"

I looked at him like he was the most disgusting pig on the face of the planet-- which, in my defense, he pretty much was. "Wesley, get out of my room."

Wesley gave me a smile that told me he'd had a drink or two, but that was all. In eighth grade, it wasn't like people were raging it away downstairs, anyway; at the most, someone had brought a bottle of their parent's tequila, and the heads of the pack-- my brother, Jeremy, and Wesley, in this case-- had gotten to take a few shots to prove they could handle it. Though, by the way Wesley was sprawled on top of my bed, it was probably safe to say he couldn't handle.

"What if I say no?"

"Then I'll make you get out." I could feel my face heating up. "Wesley, come on, just go back to your party."

Wesley sat up in my bed and winked at me. Swinging his legs over the side and spreading his arms, he almost sang out, "Why don't you give me a hug, Tiger?"

"Wesley, seriously, just get out."

Wesley's face darkened and he sighed, shaking his head. "Tiger, Tiger, Tiger," he said, getting up and walking toward me. Even though I'd reached my peak as far as height went back then, Wesley had still towered over me, at least 5'8" or 5'9". He'd grown up fast, which was part of why he'd gotten his scholarship.

And, probably, part of why he thought it was okay to do whatever he wanted.

Wesley put his hand down on my shoulder and ignored me as I tried to shrug it off, tightened it when I got more adamant about him not touching me. He put his hand under my chin and nudged my face up toward his. "Why can't you ever give a little love, Tiger?'

"You're drunk," I hissed, shaking my head and scowling at him. Wesley just smiled even more and shrugged.

"That don't change the fact that you don't know how to love, Tiger," Welsey leaned down a little to get eye level with me. "C'mon, you're a pretty girl. There's gotta be love in ya' somewhere."

I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut. "Wesley, get out of my room. Now. Before I--"

"Before you what?" Wesley taunted, laughing. "Call Caleb? What the hell's that supposed to do? He doesn't give a shit about you, Tiger."

I could feel my bottom lip shaking, but I refused to show him how close I was to crying. How much that statement hurt. When he went to lift my chin again, I yanked my head back, and made him laugh again--

"Tiger, playin' hard to get didn't get anyone--"

-- and then I slammed my head into his when he tried to touch me again.

I was seeing stars when he shoved me away from him-- I remember that much. Then I remember Wesley swearing loudly and grabbing my shoulders tight, all the hints of playful, drunk, cockiness gone. When his eyes were on mine, the stars disappeared and were replaced by a mean, hateful look that would haunt me for almost a year and a half.

"I'm through playing with you, you little cock tease," Wesley hissed, tossing me on the bed. I sat up fast and moved to get off the bed, but before I could, Wesley was on top of me, pinning my shoulders back against my bed. First he kissed my neck-- then he bit it when he realized I wasn't going to stop struggling.

"Just relax, Tiger," his voice was light, almost laughing, while he bit me hard enough to break the skin. "I'm just showing you how to love, that's all. It's just a little love."