Birthday Candles.
Hmph.
I expelled another puff of tiresome air and watched the lit candles jiggle at the sudden exertion. They settled back into their places and continued to dribble colorful beads of wax all over the fresh –out-the-oven cake. It was triple chocolate. You’re favorite.
I looked at my watch for the umpteenth time and wondered why the time was important. You weren't coming. You didn't even know I was here. In my apartment with your birthday cake and your face zipping endlessly around my mind like a popped balloon.
It was 11:57, in case you were wondering. Three more minutes till your birthday.
I guess it's my own fault I'm sitting here. After I left you. Never calling, never texting, never replying at you on twitter. And now, the mahogany dining room table had an open chair that you were supposed be sitting in. The dining room table I bought because it was the same color as your eyes.
I starred at your seat now. Across from me. I had pulled it out for you tonight as if you were to sit down with me and countdown the minutes to your birthday. To your left, a bottle of your favorite cognac and to your right, an elegantly placed cake cutter with pair of tiny dessert plates and two small forks. All shining silver in the yellow gold light of the candles. Shining clean and neat and not covered in chocolate frosting, unfortunately.
I looked back at my clock. Thirty second countdown. Fuck.
I tapped my foot on the white carpeting and whipped my hair out of my face. The smell of flour was still keen on my hands, reminding how hard I worked for this. This little fake moment of mine. Where I could maybe, just maybe, make myself believe that you were here for just a second.
I closed my eyes. Hearing the big clock in the living room ticking behind me. Checked the watch. Ten seconds.
Hmph.
I looked towards your chair and as I turned, I saw you in the corner of my eye. A white shirt and dark blue tie. Your hair frazzled to one side. Your white smile breaking up the smooth tan colors of your face and your mahogany eyes reflecting the glow of the candles. I heard your giggle in the back of my mind. That silly, boyish giggle. Echoing.
But the giggle faded and faded until it was the chiming of the living room clock.
And when my head was finally facing you,
you were not longer there.
I felt my facial nerves numb and my mind try to back pedal to that moment of belief, but it was gone.
Seeing was believing and you weren't there.
I felt my mouth twist into an ugly grimace. My eyes slightly watering. I arose from my chair.
I blew out your birthday candles before turning and going to bed.
I looked at my watch for the umpteenth time and wondered why the time was important. You weren't coming. You didn't even know I was here. In my apartment with your birthday cake and your face zipping endlessly around my mind like a popped balloon.
It was 11:57, in case you were wondering. Three more minutes till your birthday.
I guess it's my own fault I'm sitting here. After I left you. Never calling, never texting, never replying at you on twitter. And now, the mahogany dining room table had an open chair that you were supposed be sitting in. The dining room table I bought because it was the same color as your eyes.
I starred at your seat now. Across from me. I had pulled it out for you tonight as if you were to sit down with me and countdown the minutes to your birthday. To your left, a bottle of your favorite cognac and to your right, an elegantly placed cake cutter with pair of tiny dessert plates and two small forks. All shining silver in the yellow gold light of the candles. Shining clean and neat and not covered in chocolate frosting, unfortunately.
I looked back at my clock. Thirty second countdown. Fuck.
I tapped my foot on the white carpeting and whipped my hair out of my face. The smell of flour was still keen on my hands, reminding how hard I worked for this. This little fake moment of mine. Where I could maybe, just maybe, make myself believe that you were here for just a second.
I closed my eyes. Hearing the big clock in the living room ticking behind me. Checked the watch. Ten seconds.
Hmph.
I looked towards your chair and as I turned, I saw you in the corner of my eye. A white shirt and dark blue tie. Your hair frazzled to one side. Your white smile breaking up the smooth tan colors of your face and your mahogany eyes reflecting the glow of the candles. I heard your giggle in the back of my mind. That silly, boyish giggle. Echoing.
But the giggle faded and faded until it was the chiming of the living room clock.
And when my head was finally facing you,
you were not longer there.
I felt my facial nerves numb and my mind try to back pedal to that moment of belief, but it was gone.
Seeing was believing and you weren't there.
I felt my mouth twist into an ugly grimace. My eyes slightly watering. I arose from my chair.
I blew out your birthday candles before turning and going to bed.