Gerard's Little (Big) Secret
What If?
“What do you want to learn in being a parent?” Frank read aloud from the book. “Gee, why the fuck are we doing this?” he whined, leaning back against the couch, and I snorted.
“Because. It’s supposed to help us Frankie. I’m sic months pregnant. Do the math. Three months, and then we have a baby. We have Dillon. And if we don’t know what we’re doing, there’s going to be a hell of a problem.”
“You could just wait until the child was born and have your parents help,” Kayley suggested.
Cam snorted. “You mean have their parents do everything?”
“That’s a good idea!” Frank shouted, and I glared at him, before smirking.
“Shut up and fill the evaluation form out,” I ordered, and he sighed again, before going back to the form. It was some kind of survey thing from a magazine, supposed to help determine what you need to learn before your child is born, so I made another copy, and forced Frank into doing it, after Bert, Kayley, Jeph, Lizz, Cam, and Bob came over.
“This are some lame-ass questions,” Bert announced to the room, five minutes later, after Frank had handed his form to Bert to look at.
“Shut up!” I snapped. Frank looked surprised, but sent Bert a warning glance, and crawled over to me.
“Gee?” He asked, whilst I scribbled onto the paper furiously. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I said.
“Gee…” he trailed off.
“This baby’s making me emotional!” I shouted, and he jumped a little. “None of my fucking clothes fit, I lose my train of thought way too easily, I cry at the stupidest things, and I eat like a cow!”
“Aw!” The girls cried, and came over to hug me. “Gee, you’re pregnant, you’re allowed to do all that shit,” Cam went on to say. Lizz and Kayley nodded.
“Yeah well. It sucks,” I pouted, and shut the book with the form in it. “Okay, I give up. That was lame.” Bert grinned proudly in being right, and stood up.
“I’m calling for pizza. Anyone else?” Everybody shook their heads no, and I turned the TV on, sitting in between Frank’s legs, as he started kissing my neck and rubbing my back a little. I sighed happily, and Bert came back in.
“The pizza guy recognized me,” He pouted. I stared at him blankly.
“What do you mean?”
“He recognized my voice. The last time I called, he delivered, and I forgot to pay him because I was drunk. And so he refuses to deliver, and somebody has to go pick it up,” he explained.
“You forgot. To pay the pizza guy.”
“I was drunk.” He stated.
“You forgot to pay the pizza guy!” Bob laughed. “Nobody forgets to pay the pizza guy.”
“Bert does,” Kayley announced, laughing. “I’ll go with Cam and Lizz, you guys can stay here.” The girls filed out of the room, kissing their lovers bye.
“I’m tired,” I murmured, leaning against Frankie’s chest. He smiled, looking down at me.
“Go to sleep. I don’t mind.” I nodded, and closed my eyes, as he began stroking my hair lovingly. Within minutes, I was asleep, whilst the others chatted.
XxX
“Frankie?” I mumbled, waking up, and looking around the bedroom. I knew Frank must’ve carried me up after I fell asleep, but he wasn’t in here, so I grabbed a hoodie from the floor, and walked down the stairs.
All the guys were spread out on the floor, their girlfriends snuggled into them, sound asleep. Frank was nowhere to be found, so I made my way to the kitchen. He sat at the table, and cup of coffee in his hands, looking blankly at the wall. I snapped my fingers, and he came from his trance, looking up at me.
“Hey,” I said softly, sliding in to sit on his lap.
“Hey,” he said back.
“What time is it?”
“Just 12. What are you doing up?” He asked, and I bent down, capturing his lips in a chaste kiss.
“You weren’t there.”
“I wasn’t tired yet. I was gonna come up after this cup of coffee.”
“What were you thinking about.”
“Nothing. Everything.” He answered.
“Everything?” I asked, as he leaned his head against my chest, and I stroked his hair.
“You said today the baby comes in three months. Three months. Like, it was something that I couldn’t believe. I had to take a few minutes after everyone went to sleep, to let it soak in. We’ll be parents, and we’re gonna find out what sex Dillon is, it’s all just…oh my god,” He shook his head, readjusting himself so that his head was in his hands, and he groaned.
“I can’t be a parent.” He finished.
“We’ve discussed this before,” I said gently, massaging his shoulders. “You’ll be a great parent. You’re a little kid at heart, honestly. Dillon will love you no matter what.”
“Promise?” He whimpered childishly, and I smiled.
“Promise. Come on now,” I smiled, taking his hand and pulling him up from the chair. “Let’s go to bed, we can talk in the morning. I’m tired, and you look half-dead, plus, you’ve got work tomorrow.”
“I wish Bert would politely lay me off,” He grumbled.
“Bert isn’t your boss,” I responded.
“I wish Bert was my boss,” He replied. I grinned, and kissed his cheek as we climbed into the bed, and fell back asleep.
XxX
“You’re cleaning.” Mikey stated, upon entering the house, and seeing me dust everything. I nodded. “You only clean when you’re nervous.”
“I’m not nervous,” I snapped. He arched an eyebrow, and waited expectantly. “I’m not.” I continued, stubbornly. “I AM!” I shouted, throwing my arms into the air.
“What if the baby’s some how genetically fucked up?” I continued to rant. “Or like me. Or…Or…Or…Or—“
“Gerard!” Mikey cut in. “Shut up man. We’re going to be late. The baby will be fine, okay?” I nodded.
“Okay.” And we set to the doctors.
XxX
“What’d they say?” Frank asked, as he walked through the door. I handed him a beer, and a lit cigarette. “Why do you have that in the house?” he asked curiously.
“You’ll need it,” I said, as he took a sip of the beer. He held the cigarette carefully, still looking curious.
“Wehavingtwins!”
“Say wha?” He asked.
“We’re…having twins.”
“Because. It’s supposed to help us Frankie. I’m sic months pregnant. Do the math. Three months, and then we have a baby. We have Dillon. And if we don’t know what we’re doing, there’s going to be a hell of a problem.”
“You could just wait until the child was born and have your parents help,” Kayley suggested.
Cam snorted. “You mean have their parents do everything?”
“That’s a good idea!” Frank shouted, and I glared at him, before smirking.
“Shut up and fill the evaluation form out,” I ordered, and he sighed again, before going back to the form. It was some kind of survey thing from a magazine, supposed to help determine what you need to learn before your child is born, so I made another copy, and forced Frank into doing it, after Bert, Kayley, Jeph, Lizz, Cam, and Bob came over.
“This are some lame-ass questions,” Bert announced to the room, five minutes later, after Frank had handed his form to Bert to look at.
“Shut up!” I snapped. Frank looked surprised, but sent Bert a warning glance, and crawled over to me.
“Gee?” He asked, whilst I scribbled onto the paper furiously. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I said.
“Gee…” he trailed off.
“This baby’s making me emotional!” I shouted, and he jumped a little. “None of my fucking clothes fit, I lose my train of thought way too easily, I cry at the stupidest things, and I eat like a cow!”
“Aw!” The girls cried, and came over to hug me. “Gee, you’re pregnant, you’re allowed to do all that shit,” Cam went on to say. Lizz and Kayley nodded.
“Yeah well. It sucks,” I pouted, and shut the book with the form in it. “Okay, I give up. That was lame.” Bert grinned proudly in being right, and stood up.
“I’m calling for pizza. Anyone else?” Everybody shook their heads no, and I turned the TV on, sitting in between Frank’s legs, as he started kissing my neck and rubbing my back a little. I sighed happily, and Bert came back in.
“The pizza guy recognized me,” He pouted. I stared at him blankly.
“What do you mean?”
“He recognized my voice. The last time I called, he delivered, and I forgot to pay him because I was drunk. And so he refuses to deliver, and somebody has to go pick it up,” he explained.
“You forgot. To pay the pizza guy.”
“I was drunk.” He stated.
“You forgot to pay the pizza guy!” Bob laughed. “Nobody forgets to pay the pizza guy.”
“Bert does,” Kayley announced, laughing. “I’ll go with Cam and Lizz, you guys can stay here.” The girls filed out of the room, kissing their lovers bye.
“I’m tired,” I murmured, leaning against Frankie’s chest. He smiled, looking down at me.
“Go to sleep. I don’t mind.” I nodded, and closed my eyes, as he began stroking my hair lovingly. Within minutes, I was asleep, whilst the others chatted.
XxX
“Frankie?” I mumbled, waking up, and looking around the bedroom. I knew Frank must’ve carried me up after I fell asleep, but he wasn’t in here, so I grabbed a hoodie from the floor, and walked down the stairs.
All the guys were spread out on the floor, their girlfriends snuggled into them, sound asleep. Frank was nowhere to be found, so I made my way to the kitchen. He sat at the table, and cup of coffee in his hands, looking blankly at the wall. I snapped my fingers, and he came from his trance, looking up at me.
“Hey,” I said softly, sliding in to sit on his lap.
“Hey,” he said back.
“What time is it?”
“Just 12. What are you doing up?” He asked, and I bent down, capturing his lips in a chaste kiss.
“You weren’t there.”
“I wasn’t tired yet. I was gonna come up after this cup of coffee.”
“What were you thinking about.”
“Nothing. Everything.” He answered.
“Everything?” I asked, as he leaned his head against my chest, and I stroked his hair.
“You said today the baby comes in three months. Three months. Like, it was something that I couldn’t believe. I had to take a few minutes after everyone went to sleep, to let it soak in. We’ll be parents, and we’re gonna find out what sex Dillon is, it’s all just…oh my god,” He shook his head, readjusting himself so that his head was in his hands, and he groaned.
“I can’t be a parent.” He finished.
“We’ve discussed this before,” I said gently, massaging his shoulders. “You’ll be a great parent. You’re a little kid at heart, honestly. Dillon will love you no matter what.”
“Promise?” He whimpered childishly, and I smiled.
“Promise. Come on now,” I smiled, taking his hand and pulling him up from the chair. “Let’s go to bed, we can talk in the morning. I’m tired, and you look half-dead, plus, you’ve got work tomorrow.”
“I wish Bert would politely lay me off,” He grumbled.
“Bert isn’t your boss,” I responded.
“I wish Bert was my boss,” He replied. I grinned, and kissed his cheek as we climbed into the bed, and fell back asleep.
XxX
“You’re cleaning.” Mikey stated, upon entering the house, and seeing me dust everything. I nodded. “You only clean when you’re nervous.”
“I’m not nervous,” I snapped. He arched an eyebrow, and waited expectantly. “I’m not.” I continued, stubbornly. “I AM!” I shouted, throwing my arms into the air.
“What if the baby’s some how genetically fucked up?” I continued to rant. “Or like me. Or…Or…Or…Or—“
“Gerard!” Mikey cut in. “Shut up man. We’re going to be late. The baby will be fine, okay?” I nodded.
“Okay.” And we set to the doctors.
XxX
“What’d they say?” Frank asked, as he walked through the door. I handed him a beer, and a lit cigarette. “Why do you have that in the house?” he asked curiously.
“You’ll need it,” I said, as he took a sip of the beer. He held the cigarette carefully, still looking curious.
“Wehavingtwins!”
“Say wha?” He asked.
“We’re…having twins.”