Gerard's Little (Big) Secret

I was puking in the toilet, for about the fourth time in the last two hours. “oh my god,” I groaned, lurching forward, puking again.

“Gerard, take the test.”

“Frank, no!”

“Gerard, take the test!”

“Frank, NO!”

“It’ll explain this. You and I both know that it’s a possibility.”

“But it’s been four months,” I whined.

“Gerard, you know you don’t find out until around this time. Take the test.”

“Ugh, shut up, your voice is drilling into my head, making me puke more,” I moaned, after puking once again. He glared at me angrily, threw the Clear Blue pregnancy test down by my feet, and stomped out. I rolled my eyes, and leaned against the wall, mumbling about how inconsiderate he was being.

I suppose he wasn’t really being inconsiderate, in fact, I was being a right little shit, but I was emotional, and it wasn’t fun. I grabbed the test, and took a deep breath. Here goes fucking nothing. I’m not pregnant.

Four minutes later, I shrieked in pure fear. “Gerard what the f—oh!” He mumbled, as I held out the stupid test for him to see.

“NO!” I screamed. “I’M NOT HAVING A CHILD! FUCKING HELL NO!” I continued shouting, beginning to clean up the clothes scattered in the hallway, leading to my bedroom. I shoved the clothes in the hamper, now straightening all the items on the dresser up. Hair Spray, Hair gel, combs, brushes, etc. I stood things up, dusted things off, all the while, muttering, ‘No, no, no, no, fuck no.’

“Gerard, this isn’t going to help,” Frank said impatiently.

“This is crazy!” I shrieked. “I’m a guy Frankie, and guys don’t get pregnant.”

“Well, obviously they do!”

“That’s not the thing to say right now,” I glared angrily.

“Look, we’ll figure this out baby. Don’t worry.” He wrapped his arms around me, and nuzzled his head into my neck, as I rested my chin on the top of his head. “I love you. And I’ll stick with you, no matter what. Okay?”

“O-okay,” I finally said. “Promise me?”

“Of course I promise you,” He giggled, looking up at me, the light in his eyes shining. It was amazing how he could just look up at me, and I could smile, feel happy again. He was just like that.

“I should schedule an appointment with Dr. Evans.” I sighed out after a minute. I looked at the clock. 9 a.m. I still had time, before work. I reached for the phone, as Frank pulled away, and wandered into the kitchen.

“Dr. Evans’ office, how can I help you?”

“This is Gerard Way, can I make an appointment for in the near future,” I answered monotonously.

“Hold please,” She said, and I heard her clicking on her keyboard for about five minutes before coming back onto the line.

“We can have you come in today, at four.” I sighed, and thought about it. Bert, my boss, would probably let me out early, if I told him it was real important.

“Okay. That’s fine—ugh—excuse me, I’ve got to go,” I slammed the phone down and ran to the bathroom, puking once more.

xXx

“So, what seems to be the problem Mr. Way?”

“My abnormal womb,” I groaned, as I laid down on the bed, my stomach still gurgling.

“Should I be concerned?” He questioned, looking over his clipboard.

Dr. Evans has been with me since I was twelve, knowing about my womb, and…other things as well. He understood that I wanted nobody to know, unless a life or death matter, and he understood that I was different, and treated me normal. As well as his nurses.

“I think I’m pregnant,” I bit my lip a little. He closed his clipboard, and sighed.

“Very well. I’ll have the nurses come in for blood work.”

“What?!” I said loudly. “I’m not getting needles stuck in me!”

“Gerard, must we do this every. Time?”

“Yes. I hate needles.”

“And I hate sticking needles in you,” He exclaimed. “Because you make life difficult, but if you want to find out, then you better fucking let me!”

Apparently, Dr. Evans tells it like it is. I opened then closed my mouth, searching for words, before finally crossing my arms, and huffing. “Fine!” I say, “But it better be quick, and you better make sure you don’t let me die!”

“We’ll see about that,” He rolled his eyes, before walking out. I stuck my tongue out as he went out.

A nurse, who’s name was Jasmine, I think, came in, and explained what she was doing. I just took a deep breath, and focused on other things. Like, Frankie, and what we could do after this. It involved a hot shower, and some extra fun.

Finally, she was done, and all I had to do was wait fifteen minutes while that analyzed it or whatever it was they were doing. I sighed, tapping my fingers against the bed, waiting impatiently. It wasn’t that I was nervous, I had a pretty good idea that I was pregnant, I was just plain bored. I spotted a Woman’s Day magazine, and grabbed it.

“Parenting Skills,” I murmured, reading through. “Sex life. How to boost your pleasure…what the fuck? Are women that needy?!”

“Actually,” Jasmine came into the room. “We’re not. Most of us, anyways. We’re just lonely.”

“Jeez…” I muttered, still a little jumpy from when she scared the shit out of me.

“Dr. Evans will be in, just give him a minute,” She laughed.

“Fine,” I sighed, going back to the magazine as she walked out.

Ten minutes later, Dr. Evans finally decided to show his face. He had worry lines etched across his forehead.

“What?” I asked, biting my lip, setting the magazine down.

“Gerard, you are pregnant, but this is dangerous.”

“Why?”

“Because, no known man has actually given birth to a fetus, and survived, let alone the child survive.” I took a deep breath.

“So…”

“So, we’re going to try our best Gerard.”

Try your best. That’s all anyone can ask for, right?....