Gerard's Little (Big) Secret

I was listening to music, and cleaning the kitchen up, when Mikey finally emerged from the guest room at 3 the next afternoon. He looked like shit, of course. “Hey,” I nodded to him, pouring him a cup of the warm coffee, and setting it on the table.

“Hey,” He sighed, sitting down, and taking a drink of the coffee.

“Feeling any better?”

“No.”

His reply was flat, quick and easy, simple, telling me he didn’t want to talk about it. So naturally, I didn’t. He was always the type of kid who liked to keep his emotions to himself, never telling anyone if he felt lonely, or depressed. He would continue to act normal, no matter what.

Frank walked into the kitchen, with a few bags of groceries I’d sent him out to get. He gave me a quick peck hello, smiled sympathetically at Mikey, and grabbed his cigarettes. “I’ll be back soon,” He said, going over to the sliding glass door, and opening it, stepping out onto the balcony.

I’d quit smoking, right after I found out about Dillon, for the simple fact that I didn’t want her to be harmed, and Frank had respected that, going outside to smoke. We always smoked outside when it wasn’t too cold anyways, so it wasn’t that big a deal, and we never smoked in the car now, because it kept in the upholstery, and I didn’t want Dillon always smelling of smoke once she was born.

I unpacked the groceries with Mikey’s help, and we sat back down at the kitchen table, both of us with a section of the Newark Times Daily. I was reading about the guy who robbed the store with weapons for a pack of skittles, and Mikey was reading about Rutgers winning the football game Saturday. Frank came back in, and grabbed a candy bar from the counter.

“How are you feeling?” He asked me, sitting down on my lap. I wrapped my arm around his waist, still reading, and shrugged.

“Okay. I still get sick in the mornings you know. And it’d be nice to smell food without wanting to puke. And I’d love if I could fit into any of my jeans. And—“

“So crappy?” He interrupted, turning in my lap to face me, and kissing my lips.

“Crappy,” I agreed, and sat back in the chair. Mikey was concentrating hard on the paper.
“Mikes, you stare any harder, and you’ll burn a whole through the paper,” I told him softly. He barely glanced up at me, just nodded. “Mikey, come on man, go call Alicia. You know you want to.”

No reply.

“I’ll give you more coffee,” I bargained.

A quick glance up at me.

“And…take you shopping with me,” I said, after a moment of thinking.

A stare. A smirk playing at his lips.

“And I promise not to kick you out of my house,” I finally threatened.

He frowned, and stood up, grabbing for the landline. He walked out of the room with the cordless phone, and more coffee. I sighed, and watched as Frank made more coffee. “We could go see the guys today,” he suggested.

“We could. Bert will just put me to work.”

“Maybe not though…” He trailed off. I knew he was bored. He hated when he didn’t have to work, because he didn’t know what was going on at the store, which made him a bit nervous. He wasn’t lazy, that was for sure.

I sighed. “Okay. We can visit them.” He grinned, and came over, kissing me again.

“What? Am I kissable today or something?” I asked, giggling.

“Of course,” He chuckled. “Now, you should go get a shower, and then we can grab—“

“Don’t say it,” I said, as my stomach started to gurgle. He frowned, and nodded, as I stood up to go get a shower.

A half hour later, we walked into the comic book store, Cam, Kayley, and Lizz following us in. “What are you guys doing here?” Cam asked me, as we waited for Bert to finish stocking stuff.

“Eh, Frankie was bored,” I replied. Currently, he was flipping through the pages of a comic, tapping his foot impatiently, and glancing out the window every once in a while. Something weird had gotten into him, and I wasn’t sure what.

“He looks…nervous,” Cam whispered into my ear, and Kayley and Lizz nodded.

“He does…” I agreed. “A bit. Fidgety.” It was true. He’d been messing with something all day, whether it be the hem of his shirt, the pocket of his jeans, his cigarettes, or the comic book he was reading now.

“Okay guys, I’m ready—what’re you doing?” Bert stopped two feet short behind the counter, as Cam, Kayley, Lizza and I all whirled around to face him in record time. Frank hadn’t noticed us watching him, and I’m sure he would’ve found it weird. Just like Bert did now. He narrowed his eyes.

“There’s something suspicious about you four,” He said, looking at us, almost investigating us.

“We weren’t doing anything!” I said. Lizz broke into giggles, and we all turned to look at her.

“S-Sorry,” She said, still laughing. “I j-just—“

“What’d you do to her?” Jepha asked, coming out from the back room.

“I asked what they did. They all looked weird,” Bert explained. “Gerard said nothing, and then Lizz broke into giggles.”

Jepha looked at all four of us, before rolling his eyes, “If you planned something like dumping a bucket of water on my head when I open the door, again…” Lizz was still in giggles, as he said this, but stopped, momentarily, as I smiled in reminiscent.

“What?” She asked, and the girls all looked at me for an explanation.

“We were drunk!” I defended.

“You were drunk!” Jepha snorted. “And Bert. And Frank. And Bob. But I wasn’t.”

“—And really bored.”

“I mean, come on, it wasn’t fair,” He ranted, throwing his arms in the air.

“—So we came across this bucket, and rope.”

“—Soaking wet,” He was continuing, as I explained. Lizz and Cam were already in a fit of giggles, while Kayley tried to maintain a straight face. It didn’t work.

“—And so, we filled it with water, hung it above the door, and when he opened it, it splashed all over him.” I finished, and Kayley looked at me.

“While you were drunk?”

“It’s amazing what you can get done drunk,” I nodded. “Like Frank and I—“

“I DON’T WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE! I DON’T WANNA! DON’T WANNA! DON’T WANNA!” Bert screamed, loudly, covering his ears, and doing a freak dance around the room.

Thus, this distracted Frank from his fidgety manner, and he looked at Bert with a weird expression, head cocked to the side, and comic book held by his waist in confusion. I stared at Bert. “That wasn’t what I was talking about,” I said, irritated, and blinking several times in a row.

He stopped his freak dance, and looked at the ground. “Oh…” He trailed off. I rolled my eyes.

“The point is,” I said, glaring at him. “That the ability to do things drunk just takes a lot of focus.”

“Prove it!” Kayley said. I looked at her.

“What?”

“Tonight. Let’s all get wasted.”

Now would probably be a great time to tell them my little secret, but I’m one who doesn’t like to make things more awkward then they can get. So naturally, I’m not about to open my mouth, and tell the world I’m about to have a child in six months. Instead, I think of a quick, and stupid excuse.

“I have to go to my mom’s tonight,” I said. Bert sighed.

“You went there last night. Last night was your weekly dinner dude,” Jepha said, shaking his head. “Nice cover, for last night.” I took a deep breath, and Frank looked at me, surprised. He knew I was going to tell.

“I have to tell you something…”

And so, I poured the whole story out, from beginning to end, telling them about why nobody knew, and how it was never meant to happen, until one drunken thing turned into what was about to be nine months of pure, physical torture. Kayley had wide eyes the whole time. Lizz actually stopped her giggling fit, and gave me a hug, even though she was super surprised. Cam was one to analyze, and pour over it for a little while, before finally somewhat understanding. Jepha actually point blank laughed for a second, before finally saying he totally understood, and supported me every step of the way. Obviously, Bert already knew. And Bob was to be told tonight, I decided, as we agreed to have dinner at the Italian restaurant on 7th Ave.

“This is pretty big,” Cam told me, as Frank and I walked to our car. He was still acting weird.

“Yeah. I guess.” I nodded, and so did Frank.

“When do you know if it’s a girl or boy?” She asked, her eyes shining. I shrugged, and Frank smiled, excited to find out. We both wanted a girl.

“I think at the next appointment,” I answered her. “But I couldn’t honestly tell you.”

She nodded, and all the girls hugged us both in congratulations, and then they followed Jepha and Bert back into the comic store. As we got into the car, I turned to Frank, and stared hard.

”Spill. What’s wrong?”