I Will Follow You Into the Dark

“On me dit que nos vies ne valent pas grand chose, elles passent en un instant comme fanent les roses. On me dit que le temps qui glisse est un salaud que de nos chagrins il s'en fait des manteaux pourtant quelqu'un m'a dit,” Svetlanna sang gently as she walked through a small field of flowers on a really sunny Saturday morning. Instead of her usual school robes she wore a light sun dress and dangled her shoes from her finger tips. Svetlanna loved the sun and she knew the sunny days were numbered so she was going to soak up as much as she could before she had to adorn her coat.

That morning she woke up with a heavy heart and two thoughts came to mind. One involved bringing out a past friend and losing herself, but the more sensible thing was to take a walk and just try to forget about what was on her mind.

Throughout the week Svetlanna had been talking more and more to Alik, and she could feel a small crush forming for him; on the other hand, George still held her heart in his hands and each day passed with him squeezing it harder and harder. Svetlanna was trying hard to move on and forget about the love that was never returned but the harder she tried the more tears welled in her eyes at the sight of the beautiful ginger.

“Que tu m'aimais encore, c’est quelqu'un qui m'a dit que tu m'aimais encore. Serais ce possible alors ?” the lyrics left smoothly from her lips and she smiled sadly to the flowers that danced in the wind below her. She moved her hair out of her face and looked up at the happy sky. All around her, nature showed happiness and joy but inside Svetlanna felt like she was being torn.

Was love supposed to feel like that?

Svetlanna bent down and picked a small, pink flower and twirled it in her hands before continuing her walk toward the lake. She heard voices as she drew closer, but didn’t think much of it. It was probably some kids from a different school or others just enjoying the sun like Svetlanna. However, when she was able to see more clearly, Svetlanna noticed a familiar ginger head leaning over a pale girl’s body. She knew it was a Weasley, but because their head was down she couldn’t see which. In the end, Svetlanna decided to just call out their last name in order to see who it was.

“Weasley!” she called out curiously causing her accent to fully take over her voice, making her sound like a French girl from Beabaxton.

After she called, and the person responded, Svetlanna regretted her actions for tears blurred her vision and her heart nearly stopped. Over Aurora was a flustered George Weasley. It was obvious their mouths had been on each other’s because George’s usual bright pink lips were almost as red as his cheeks and Aurora looked both flustered and confused.

“Pourquoi?” (why?) Svetlanna whispered to herself before letting out a loud sob and running away from the scene. She didn’t go to Gryffindor tower, nor did she go to Hagrid’s hut; Svetlanna ran wherever her legs took her, which happened to be the forbidden forest. She didn’t know how far she ran in, but by the time she finally tripped over something the trees were thick enough to block the sun’s light.

Yet she didn’t care.

Svetlanna wanted to be alone, she wanted to suffer and she wanted to feel the pain that was on her heart; however, she wanted to see it as well. Quickly, and with shaking hands, she pulled her wand from the garter on her thigh and pointed it at a jagged rock too far for her to reach without getting up.

“Accio rock,” she whispered and it slowly flew into her hand. Svetlanna stared at it, contemplating what she should do with the object in her hand. It gave her comfort knowing that she could control one thing for once, but she also worried about making the same mistake as last time.

Svetlanna was losing her friends, herself, and mostly her mind. Everything seemed to be falling out of place and people she trusted were abandoning her with each passing day. Her heart ached and her mind strayed elsewhere as she moved the glass along her thigh. It stung and she cried because of the pain, but that was so much better than crying over losing those she loved. When she was done she dropped the glass and stared at the ceiling; with this in mind, she hadn’t noticed the bleeding didn’t stop. After she had looked down there was blood everywhere and still flowing. Panicking, she casted a healing spell on the wound that she only heard her mom mutter in the past. It worked, but the scar still remained.

“I don’t care anymore!” Svetlanna screamed at the top of her lungs before jamming the rock into her thigh and carving simply words that represented the pain she felt.

Hurt
Betrayal
George

Svetlanna lost all track of time, but when she did finish she felt a lot better than before. Her tears were gone, yet her face showed evidence that she had been either crying or had a really bad cold. Getting up, Svetlanna felt over a dozen of her fresh cuts sting, but it didn’t matter to her anymore.

She looked at the blood trailing down her leg and whipped it away with her hand. As she walked out of the forest and toward the castle, Svetlanna thought of different excuses for how she looked and the blood on her hands. Her new cuts were hidden from view because of her dress but the blood on her hands was obvious. She noted that the sun had set as she walked through the castle doors and it had to be around dinner time, so Svetlanna rushed to Gryffindor tower and to her room to get a change of clothes so she could shower and clean herself up before crawling into bed and crying herself to sleep.

The hot water against her flesh felt good, and the shivers running through her body reminded her that even then she was just human and couldn’t control everything. Once she was finished, she quickly got dressed and threw her hair into a tight ponytail before leaving the girl’s shower room and walking back up the stairs that lead to her room.

Two weeks had passed and Svetlanna hadn’t spoken to anyone unless forced. Ron was getting worried, and he had tried what felt like millions of times before giving up and just waiting patiently like a good friend should. Svetlanna thought no one noticed how she would wince whenever she would sit down or even walk, but George and Alik both had their eyes on her.

She was walking alone to class one day when she was finally confronted by the latter of the two.

“Vam bolʹno?” (Are you in pain?) Alik asked in a hushed tone as he pulled her into a quiet place alone the hall, “Vy vse yeshche prihramyvaya.” (you’re still limping)

Svetlanna put on her best smile and nodded her head before walking slowly away from the charming Russian boy, but he caught up with her easily and grabbed her wrist, causing her to wince once again because just the night before she decided the empty skin need a little red for her liking.

Alik noticed and let go quickly, “Razve ya tebya postradal?!” (Have I harmed you?!)

“No,” Svetlanna whispered, “I just bruise very easily and I was trying to learn how to fly a broom from Harry earlier this week.” The lie came with ease and even the bitter aftertaste that followed wasn’t half as bad as what Svetlanna thought it would be, “don’t worry about me, please. I have to get to class now.” And after that statement Svetlanna did something she would have never done before; she leaned up and kissed Alik’s cheek quickly before pulling away and rushing to class.

“Are you always going to be late to class Ms. Bellamy?” Professor Babbling asked as Svetlanna sat down in her seat. Svetlanna shook her head and stared at her hands until the teacher continued her interrupted lecture.

As fate would have it, Svetlanna was stuck sitting next to George’s new girlfriend and the cold hate radiating off of her body was even felt inside her. She pulled her quill out quickly and jotted down notes absentmindedly, and with each break she would jot down her though at the moment. I can’t stop you from ripping my heart out, but I don’t have to watch you do it! she wrote before her mind strayed toward the ginger she was talking about and Aurora.

She glared down at her wrist, itching to be alone for just a moment to ease the pain. Still, she was stuck in the stuffy classroom with a million thoughts racing through her mind.

“She’s only known him for a month and she’s with him,” Svetlanna muttered, not knowing that she was speaking out loud. Lucky her it was only heard by one person, but not the person she wanted to speak with.

“Honestly, is that what you’ve been so depressed over,” Aurora whispered to her.

Svetlanna looked over and into Aurora’s bright eyes with dead eyes of her own. She shrugged and turned back to the front of the room, “I’m not depressed. If you want him, keep him. It’s nothing for me to fuss over anymore.”

“But I don’t want him.”