I Will Follow You Into the Dark

Svetlanna sat next to Harry in silence as they did their homework in the library. Ron had gone to bed early and Hermione went along with him because she had finished everything. The two friends hadn’t spoken a work to each other and the silence was welcome by both. They didn’t need to exchange words, that was the mutual understanding they shared; Svetlanna provided a silent comfort in Harry’s hectic life and Harry provided Svetlanna with a bit of thinking space.

“Lanna,” Harry whispered, breaking the slightly older girl out of her thoughts and dragging her attention onto him, “Ron’s worried about you.”

“Just Ron,” Svetlanna mused to herself while nodded her head. Figures her best friend would be the only one worried out of the whole group, “I know he’s worried, but he has no reason to. I’m just thinking about what happened this summer.”

She was surprised she could lie so well, but she figured it was only because she had been lying ever since the day she caught George and Aurora. Svetlanna winced when she thought about the girl; Aurora knew her secret and even called her stupid for doing it, but Svetlanna figured the new girl knew nothing about heartbreak and internal pain.

“Look,” Harry said, scooting a little closer to Svetlanna and leaning toward her, “Ron, Hermione, and I know you fancy George and you’ve been miserable ever since Aurora started hanging with him and Fred. Is it because of her? You can talk to me…”

Svetlanna shook her head and thought back on Aurora’s words, “They’re just friends, and even if they were more it’s not for me to worry over. Besides, I don’t fancy George anymore” –just the words caused her heart to pound painfully fast- “I’ve taken a greater liking to Alik.” A blush consumed her cheeks as the words came out, for she hadn’t even told herself that. But after she said it she felt a small truth behind it.

The truth felt good.

“Alik?” Harry questioned, his eyes showed that he was truly surprised that Svetlanna could harvest emotions for someone she hadn’t even known for a couple of months. Harry didn’t think she was the kind of girl to be bold and confident enough to communicate with a stranger, “the mate who’s always around Viktor?”

Svetlanna nodded and put her head down to cover her blush, “He’s really sweet and more mature than most boys here” –she was speaking of the twins- “I think he likes me as well.”

Alik walked out of the narrow book row with several books in his hand. As he passed a small table containing two people, he heard the shy voice of Svetlanna and smiled when he heard his name flow from her pink lips. The lips he had thought about kissing so many times ever since he had met her; the very lips that brushed against his cheek just hours before.

He passed without telling the young girl he was there, Alik only walk to check out the few books for his lessons. Although, the words of his Svetlanna stayed in his mind even when he entered the torched hallways the lead toward his resting area.

“I think I’m going to go to bed, Harry,” Svetlanna whispered, gathering her finished papers into a small notebook and stuffing them into a small, leather bag her father had given her after his trip to France during her second year. It became her favorite item and it was rare that she was without it because it always contained everything she valued and needed.

“G’night, Lanna,” he mumbled, standing to hug her briefly before sitting back down and continuing with his work. His eyes held stress and bags underneath that showed he hadn’t been sleeping. It took everything in Svetlanna’s body to walk away because she never liked seeing people she cared for in pain, but she knew Harry didn’t like people constantly pestering him like Hermione.

The walk back to the Gryffindor common room was exactly as work had been; quiet and peaceful. It gave Svetlanna enough time to think over the words of Aurora once more. As she neared her destination, Lanna decided to make a quick stop by the bathrooms and looked herself in the mirror. As she did so, Aurora’s voice became louder and Svetlanna bit her lip as she thought over every opinion she had on herself.

She tried hard to stay positive, but found it useless after awhile, “ You have dimples and a great smile,” she’d whisper over and over just examining the good traits and ignoring the many bad things, “you have your mothers legs and your dad’s French accent when you’re angry.” As she went on her positives turned to negatives and she glared at herself, “You can’t stand up for yourself or your friends, your cowardly ways are the only reasons your ‘friends’ put up with you, and you can’t even admit your love for a boy you’ve known for years.”

Tears streamed down her face and she sunk to her knees. Why was she so weak when everyone else in her family had nothing but courage and strength flowing through their veins? Svetlanna was never the one in the group that shined with her mother’s intelligence or her father’s bravery, nor did the young girl have her sister’s confidence. Svetlanna often wondered why she was placed in Gryffindor because she had never done anything that lived up to the title.

Svetlanna voiced her thoughts and reached in her bag for the sharp blade she carried. Aurora’s words drifted from her mind as she placed the edge on her battered skin and as she made a move to abuse the flesh even more a hand came down and grabbed her wrist tightly. It stung, but it made Svetlanna drop the blade and gasp from the icy and firm grip.

When she looked up she met the dark brown eyes of Aurora and bit her lip to keep from screaming. Quickly, she snatched her hand away from George’s new friend and scooted a little further from her crouching body, “Que fais-tu ici? Avez-vous trouver de la joie à regarder plus petit de personnes souffrent pendant que vous vous asseoir sur votre trône de bonheur et de fortune? Voulez-vous m'appeler stupides?” (What are you doing here? Did you find joy in watching people suffer smaller while you sit on your throne of happiness and fortune? Would you call me stupid?)

Aurora shook her head and a couple of tears escaped her saddened eyes, “You’re not the only one with problems,” she whispered, sitting down fully and pulling her knees to her chest, “your love issues with George aren’t even worth the tears you waste. “

Svetlanna scoffed and held her hand over as much as her mutilated skin as she was able, “What problems do you have? Too many offers and not enough time?”

“You still don’t understand, do you?” Aurora snapped, narrowing her eyes a bit, “I don’t give a shit about any boy here! They’re all pigs in my eyes, but I do have problems. Every second of every minute in my life I have to live with the image of my father dying .” –Tears started to fall down her red cheeks- “He…he didn’t want to do the wrong thing and he died for it. Right in front of me, he stood up to a bloody death eater and got killed for it.”

Svetlanna was stuck for words, so she resorted to comforting the older, crying girl as Aurora had done for her earlier. She didn’t speak or whisper ‘it’s going to be alright’ because she knew that if her father would have been murdered in front of her she wouldn’t want to hear those words. As Aurora shook quietly on Svetlanna shoulder, a loud wail came from one of the stalls and Svetlanna rolled her eyes as Moaning Myrtle came into view.

“What do you want Myrtle?” Svetlanna questioned apathetically. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with Myrtle’s issues or show Myrtle her lack of care to cause even more problems with the ghost.

“You two talk nothing about life problems,” the ghost said as she floated around the girls, “but at least you have a life. I’m stuck here.”

“Now is not the time for this,” Svetlanna whispered to herself and Aurora, “let’s take a walk before going to the common room. Just in case someone is there to question how you look.”

Aurora looked up with red eyes, but she had managed to dry her tears. She wasn’t going to admit it, but Svetlanna felt as if she grew a little bit closer to Aurora because she had seen the girl at her weakest point and knew her most sensitive memory. Svetlanna wasn’t one of those people to attack a person or black mail them, but knowing that everyone had problems gave the girl comfort and allowed her to see that even the most ‘perfect’ people weren’t as they seemed.

“You’ve done this before, then,” Aurora mused aloud

Svetlanna bit her lip and nodded. She thought back to the many times in the previous years when she spent half her year in the bathroom crying over being left out and feeling alone. When she really looked into it, Svetlanna saw how weak she truly was and her problems were idle things that really didn’t call for much worry.

She turned to Aurora and sighed, “How do you do it?”

“What?” Aurora asked, her voice sounded both vulnerable and distant. Showing Svetlanna that her thoughts had been on either her father or something involving him.

“How do you stay so strong after everything that happened to you ? I mean, I don’t mean to pester you, but I’m just curious because… I want to be as strong as you,” Svetlanna was embarrassed to admit it, “emotionally and physically.”

Aurora looked over at Svetlanna and seemed to space out in thought, “I don’t cut myself. Self hate only makes things worse. I’ve told you, love yourself first.”

“Will you teach me?”

Even to her, Svetlanna’s voice sounded like a weak child who lost a parent. She had wanted to sound like she had some confidence, but she could never do that right.

“I’m not a push-over person,” Aurora said, stopping her movement and looking up at the stars, “which means I’m not going to be a push-over teacher. Are you sure you want to do this?”

Svetlanna nodded her head almost eagerly and gave Aurora a small smile, “I’m sure. I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t sure about this.”