A Wolf's Heart

I woke up to the feeling of something wet running down my back. It started at my shoulder blade and slowly crept down, leaving a trail of goose bumps in its wake.

Then I heard something so painful, I wanted to cry. I turned around and proved my suspicions correct. This beautiful wolf, Paul, is crying.

I could hear his whimpers, and see his tears. I heard how his breath would come out in a chocking sob.

I felt tightness in my chest. It grabbed a hold of my heart and shoved it in my throat. My eyes started to water, and soon, I was crying with him.

I turned fully around and threw myself at him. My arms wrapped themselves around his neck. He placed his giant head on my chest, still sobbing, but calming down to the sound of my heartbeat.

I wiped away the remaining tears on his face with my hand. He closed his eyes. And for a long while, we stayed in that position.

He let out a huge breath of air. I felt the heat of it surround my body.

His giant eyes opened and met mine. Then the air started to change.

The space around us seemed to quiver and the snapping of bones aligning themselves was heard.

Watching him phase was definitely something. He never broke eye contact and neither did I. By the end, he was standing fully upright. His form towered over my still sitting frame.

The look in his eyes was full blown pain. Pain, guilt, sorrow, but somewhere deep in those pools of brown was a bit of happiness.

My body had a mind of its own as it got up. Slowly, not wanting him to run, I put my arms around his waist. After a while, he did the same. And we stood there contently.

I don’t know why I did it, but I did. I whispered, “Paul… My wolf.” I wanted him to know that I knew who he is. He had to know that he was mine. I can feel human things, I have a human heart, but my heart yearns for my wolf.

I looked up at him. His eyes were a mix of different emotions. But this time, he was happy. And that made me happy. A cute smile was etched onto his face.

I felt light all of a sudden. Like I can do anything. I was soaring. With my wolf.

But that ended when he opened his mouth. Was he trying to talk to me? I felt horrible. All I heard was noises. He seemed happy before, now he’s sad. And now I’m sad.

I just sent him an apologetic look. He just frowned, bit his lip, and nodded.

No words were spoken. But the look in our eyes spoke of one thing. Home.

He stayed in his human form and I walked by his side. Together, we started the long journey home. Each of us held a small smile.

Paul’s POV

You can’t imagine how I feel right now. I’m so frustrated!

I hurt her, and that thought alone makes me want to break down again. But what’s even worst is that I can’t apologize. I can’t tell her anything because she won’t understand me.

When she said those words to me, I was so happy. Happy, because she knows my name. Proud, because she called me hers.

I asked her if she really meant that. She couldn’t understand me. Does she even know what those words meant? What they meant to me?

I just sighed and nodded. I was happy that she was with me. Happy that she cared enough to find me herself. That made me feel good.

On the way home, I had several thoughts.

Will Darin forgive me? Will the Pack forgive me?

Then I looked at Makani. And I noticed for the first time, that she was naked, and it bothered me. Not in a way where I wanted her to put on something, the other way. Yes, that other way.

How could it not? Her body was perfect. I loved it. I loved her.

Then another thought.

How can I show her my love? She can’t understand the words I speak. She doesn’t know what human actions are. She’s clueless about the human world.

But, I will find a way.