Baby, I'm A Dreamer For Sure

It was like heaven. It was what I had been dreaming of for two years, ever since the first time I saw him. The taste of his lips was wonderful, and I wanted it to last forever.

Nothing ever did last forever though.

Once I was fully aware of what I was doing I started to panic. He hadn’t kissed me back. I pulled back to see his reaction. I was both scared and anticipated to know how he felt. He just stared at me wide-eyed and a shocked expression on his face. The kiss hadn’t lasted longer than two seconds but it was too long.

I knew I shouldn’t have done it. Now, he’s never going to talk to me ever again. I just made things so much worse. My heart sank in my chest and I started hyperventilating. I jumped out of the bed and ran upstairs before he could say anything.

I feared his reaction now more than ever, now when the damage was already done. I wanted to take it back but it was impossible.

Once I came upstairs I struggled to get my converse on as fast as possible. Without lacing them up I open the front door and walked outside. It was still raining and only three steps out I was soaked, again. But I didn’t care; all I could focus on right now was to get as far away from Alex as possible.

I heard the front door open up behind me and I knew it was Alex coming out. I panicked once again and started running down the street. Only this wasn’t the smartest thing to do. As a combination of wet asphalt, too long pants, untied laces, and an unfocused Jess, I tripped over my own feet and fell head first down on the ground. And don’t even get me started on the glasses. Rain and glasses don’t really work together that well. Not to mention they fell off my face and hit the ground before I did.

I felt all energy leave my body. I felt hopeless when I realised I wasn’t going to be able to escape him. Tears ran down my face and sobs shook my whole body. As I lay there, unmoving, feeling sorry for myself I felt a stinging pain in my right knee.

I groaned as I heard Alex come up to me and sat down on his knees right next to me. “Oh, my god! Jessica, are you okay?” He sounded panicked and concerned at the same time. He slowly and carefully rolled me over onto my back when I didn’t answer him or made a move to do so myself.

I slowly sat up without looking at him, feeling too embarrassed to do so, I looked down on my hands, there were scratches all over my palms and it stung a bit. I looked around for my glasses, feeling with my hands on the ground.

Alex seemed to catch onto what I was doing and he found them. He placed them in my hand and I looked down at them. The right glass was broken. Perfect, just what I needed, especially now when I didn’t have any contacts either.

I sighed and I tried to rise to my feet, though, failing miserably when my weak knee gave in under me making me fall back on my butt with a cry of pain. The knee hurt worse than I thought it would have.

Alex sighed and without a word flung my right arm over his shoulder and lifted me up on my feet. We walked back into the house, I more of jumped on one leg and leaned my weight on Alex but we got in safe. He ended up carrying me bridal style down the stairs since it was nearly impossible for me to walk down there with that knee.

He laid me down on the bed and sat down next to me. We still hadn’t said a word, and it was really awkward I just wanted to get out of there but thanks to my idiocy I couldn’t even walk now.

He made a move to pull down my pants but I jerked away from him. “W-What are you doing?” I asked in panic.

“You have to take those off, or you’re going to get sick it’s your choice.” He said frustratingly.

I couldn’t even look at him, I was so embarrassed. But I also felt bad because there was a hole in the pants on my knee from the fall. I had ruined them.

He didn’t bother to get an answer from me but just took them off anyway, and revealed a wound on my right knee. It wasn’t so big but it was a lot of blood and a lot of dirt in it. I bit my lip and looked away; I wasn’t too fond of blood, just the sight of it made me sick to my stomach.

“You’re so stupid, Jessica!” He said angrily when he saw it and rose from the bed. “Why the hell did you run off like that?”

“I-I don’t k-know.” I sobbed out, the tears coming once again. He really hated me now and that made my heart break.

He just looked at me with an unreadable expression for a while then left the room. When he came back a minute later he had changed into dry clothes. He sat down on his knees on the floor right by my leg. He had some pads with him and some cleaning thing I think, I didn’t want to look at it.

“Okay, this is going to hurt a bit.” He said a lot softer now.

I had my eyes closed the whole time but flinched when it started to sting. Alex put a hand on my thigh to keep me still without saying a word. That did keep me still. It made me very uncomfortable and my heart started racing.

At least it did one good thing; it kept my mind off the stinging.

“There you go,” Alex mumbled and walked out of the room once again. I dared to look down and saw to my very relief that he had put a band-aid over the wound.

He came back into the room and went over to his closet, took a new shirt out and tossed it in my direction. I grabbed it and changed from the drenched one I was wearing to the dry one.

Alex didn’t even look at me when he walked back to the bed and laid down. I can’t believe this happened, and all in one night. First Dick and now Alex, I just can’t seem to get guys to like me. I am such a fail. It seemed like he just decided to act like nothing happen before I ran off, or at least like he didn’t want to talk about it.

Tears came down my cheeks and I choked out a sob rather loudly, before I could stop it. I hated myself so much right now. I didn’t want Alex to think this was getting to me. I didn’t want him to see me this weak.

Alex sighed and rolled over on his side to face me. “Why are you crying?” He asked softly.

I watched his face and quickly dried my tears, focusing hard to make them stop falling. All this hurt me way more than the whole Dick thing. And Alex hadn’t even done a thing to me.

His face was a blur to me, not only because of the tears, thus making it unreadable to me. “I-I don’t know. I c-can’t s-stop it.” I stuttered.

He ran a hand down the side of my face and stroked my cheek softly. I leaned into his hand and sighed contently. I loved him touching me like that. It made my heart swell with the love I held for him. If only he knew how much just a simple touch like that really meant to me.

“I’m sorry, Alex.” I blurted out before I could stop myself. “About earlier. I didn’t mean to. I just … I don’t know what happened.” I lied. I knew exactly what had happened. I knew exactly why I had done it, and I had most definitely meant it, but he didn’t need to know that.

“It’s okay, Jessie. I get it. You got hurt and just wanted to prove to yourself you still got it.” He said in a soft tone, his hand still on my face.

“No!” I said in panic and sat up hastily. I couldn’t have him that Dick got to me that bad. “It wasn’t like that at all. I just…”

He sat up as well but I still couldn’t see his face. Damn my bad eyesight. “You don’t have to explain yourself, Jessie. I get it. Hell, I probably would have done the same thing if I were in your shoes.”

“No, Alex.” I said trying to calm myself down. “I don’t care about Dick, okay? I never did, it was never something serious with him. He was a douche bag and he was on the football team, which pretty much says it all; I hate football. It’s so boring; I don’t get how people want to pay money to see something like that.” I started rambling and stopped myself.

I moved a bit closer to him and leaned in so I was able to see his expression. It killed me not to know what he was thinking. “I’d much rather go to a concert, you know.” I smiled, hoping he’d pick up on the hint.

He leaned his face in even closer so it was only a few inches away from mine. He tipped his head slightly to the side and a smirk played on his lips. “You would, huh?”

I blushed and diverted my eyes from his as I realised he most have caught on, but I didn’t move away from him. I could feel his hot breath on my face and it filled my stomach with butterflies. I wanted to feel his lips on mine again.

And just like that, he closed the distance between us and softly placed his lips on mine. My heartbeat increased immensely and I was sure he would be able to hear it. I wanted to take advantage of the situation, I didn’t know if this was going to be a one time thing or something else so I wanted to make the best of it.

I carefully wrapped my arms around his neck as I moved my lips against his. He had taken a strong grip around my waist and pressed my chest against his.

When we pulled back both our breathing was laboured. I was so happy I couldn’t help to huge grin that made its way onto my face as I squeezed him harder.

He chuckled and ran his hands up and down my back before going back around my waist. “Wow.” He breathed out.

“Yeah,” I agreed nodding, still unable to stop grinning. I loved him holding me like this, and I loved being this close to him.

“So, this was what you were trying to tell me?” He asked softly loosing his tight grip on me slightly.

“Kind of.” I blushed and averted my eyes.

“Then, why didn’t you just say so?” He smirked and pecked my lips lightly one more time. I shrugged and laid my head down on his shoulder. I yawned; feeling tried all of a sudden.

“It’s like one thirty now, let’s go to sleep, okay?” He said after a long silence.

“Yeah,” I agreed and we laid down close to each other. He pulled the covers up over our bodies and searched for my hand under it. When he found it he intertwined our fingers. I couldn’t help but smile and blush.

“Good night, Dreamer.” He whispered and leaned over to place a kiss on my cheek.

“Good night, Alex.” I closed my eyes and was completely happy, because I had got the one thing I had been dreaming about for two years.