I Don't Even Know His Name...

Jacks POV:

Monday arrived and we all cramped in Matt’s room getting everything ready for the Ustream. Looking over to Alex I saw that he looked a little nervous as it was the first time he had proper contact with the fans since the accident. I really wanted to reassure him in any way possible but I have to keep my guard up right now. If anyone suspects that me and Alex are together it could ruin everything. We wanted to wait to tell everyone when we felt ready even though I desperately wanted to hold his hand right now. He could sense my anxiety and leant his head on my shoulder whilst we watched Matt hook up various wires to the laptop.

“I’ll be right back” Alex announced as he made his way to the bathroom. As soon as he left the room the signal was received and we all appeared on screen. The live chat went berserk.

“What’s up bitches?!” I yelled happily earning a small chuckle from Rian beside me whilst Matt waved awkwardly to the webcam. Meanwhile Zack was squinting at the screen reading out multiple messages that scrolled up the monitor.

“Guys everyone wants to know where Alex is” It was true most of the fans were freaking out on where he had got to, typing mostly in capitals. Thankfully Rian was quick to reassure them that he went to the bathroom as well as adding that he might be jerking off under his breath. Dramatically I got up announcing that I would go find the horny bugger as Zack, Rian and Matt continued answering questions. When I left, the soft humming of talking was replaced with silence as I walked down the corridor. Finding the familiar wooden door to the bathroom I knocked on it tentatively.

“You ok Lex? The fans are waiting” It was quiet for a few seconds which unnerved me, only the sound of his breaths was audible. To my surprise the door clicked open in front of me revealing a shaking Gaskarth stood there awkwardly. My immediate reaction was to pull him into a hug rubbing his back softly. I think he was on the edge of panicking.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He didn’t seem too tense anymore although I knew he was still worried.

“I-I don’t know, I guess I’m worried that people won’t think I’m the same anymore, that I won’t ever be the person I was.” The tremble in his voice reflected the fear that shone in his eyes that I was so desperate to get rid of. I knew where he was coming from, living up to people’s expectations is always one of the problems as a band we face. Even though we always give off a “We don’t give a fuck” attitude Alex was vulnerable right now. It must be so difficult not to remember who you were and now be faced with people who have known your personality for so long.

“They’ll understand, no-one expects you to be running around screaming dick jokes at people like nothing’s happened. It’s going to take time and everyone knows that, so don’t be self-conscious they only want to know that you’re okay.” Glancing around quickly I pecked his cheek discreetly giving him as much reassurance as possible. A simple sigh of content fell from his lips before he grinned.

“Thanks Jack, I think I’m alright now.” Dabbing his eyes lightly with my sleeve we both walked back over to Matt’s bedroom. It seemed like the guys were doing well at diverting everyone’s attention online to the fact that our lead singer was no-where to be found. Knocking on the door lightly I walked in smiling.

“Look what I found in the bathtub” I tugged on his wrist as finally Alex appeared greeting all the fans that were there. He was obviously nervous but to me he looked like the same old goofy Alex and the fans agreed. They went ape shit.

“Woah so many questions!” he exclaimed trying to read the scrolling screen as best as he could. It was seriously adorable watching his eyes light up at all the support that was flooding in.

“Alright guys I know you all want to know what happened so I’m going to try and tell you the best I can.” I draped my arm protectively over his shoulder pressing him close to my side as we all knew this was going to be the most difficult part of the Ustream. Running a hand through his hair he steadied his breathing.

“It was a normal night, me and Jack decided to meet some friends to celebrate being back in Baltimore. It was amazing to see everyone again and by the end of the night we both walked back home. On our way home someone stopped us and told us to turn around” The room was dead silent, all eyes and ears were on him and I could see the pain etched into his face. Biting his lip he continued voice wavering.

“This fucked up person had a gun pressed up to Jacks head and I remember thinking that this was it. And I have never been more afraid than at that moment. He demanded us to hand over our money but we didn’t have any on us. When he realised this I saw what he was going to do next, and that’s when it happened.” There wasn’t a dry eye in the room as Alex looked up at me both of us on the verge of breaking.

“In the space of a few seconds I saw Jack the person I care about so much breaking in front of me. All I remember afterwards was that I never wanted to see him hurt. That’s when I pushed him out the way and I-I took the bullet for him.” Sniffing quietly I dried his eyes once more making him laugh quietly in embarrassment.

“I know that sounded fucking corny but I’d rather risk my life then to ever see Jack in pain.” All the guys chorused in awws as Alex blushed harder. Yet I couldn’’t stop those words echoing in my head. That was the most incredible thing anyone’s ever said to me before. And I didn’t think it was humanely possible but I think I just fell even more in love with Alex.