Tell Me That You Love Me And It'll Be Alright

Why would Pat avoid me? Had I done something wrong? Did I accidentally insult him or something? I stared down at the chipped black nail polish on my chewed up fingernails. It was a truly gross habit, but I was a nail biter. I forced my eyes away from my destructive habit, looking around the tent-and-people-filled-area instead. When I did, I found John standing directly in front of me.

"Well aren’t you just lookingadorable adorkable today," he grinned. I typically wore contacts instead of my glasses, but I still loved to wear my nerd glasses.

"Thanks," both Garrett and I said at the same time. He was wearing his nerd glasses as well.

John shot him a look. "Sorry bro, but I was referring to our lovely birthday girl over here," he said, pointing at me. Garrett just rolled his eyes, mumbling how he was much more adorkable. John turned back to me. "So, Reagan, happy birthday."

I stood up, wrapping my arms around him. "Thanks, JohnOhh."

"And I got you something I know you'll love," he grinned, pulling out of my arms and walking over to one of the merch boxes. "I hid it in here because I knew Jared was giving you the day off."

He pulled out a gift bag, handing it to me. I pulled out the tissue paper and looked in. Inside sat a small Pikachu pillow. I grinned, pulling it out. It was absolutely adorable. The bright yellow fabric felt soft under my fingertips. I looked up at John, who was staring down at me with a small smile. "You are so awesome, you know that?" I asked, throwing my arms around him in yet another hug.

"Yeah, I know," he smirked.

Jared looked over at me from the merch table where he had just finished selling a girl a shirt. The girl was now over talking to Garrett, most likely asking for a picture. "You're still here. Why are you still here? I gave you the day off! Enjoy it!"

"I will! After your show, I'll go enjoy Warped, okay?" Jared just rolled his eyes at me. "Actually, I want to go see the All Time Low boys. I'm sure they want me around. I'll see you guys at your set!" I said, giving each boy a kiss on the cheek before running off.

And that was how my day went. I met up with several different bands, some people with small gifts, some just wishing me a happy birthday, but never once did I run into my long-haired drummer.

My thoughts were going crazy. What had I done to make Pat avoid me? I replayed all the events of the previous day, but nothing came to me. He was avoiding me for absolutely no reason. I was making my way to the stage The Maine was supposed to be playing when someone wrapped their arm around my shoulders. "You okay, darling?"

I offered him a weak smile. "Hey Halvo," I said quietly, leaning against him as we made our way through the crowd.

He noticed that I had ignored his question. "Rae, what's wrong?" Sure, Eric was immature and silly most of the time, but he had his serious moments.

"I don’t know what I did, but Pat's avoiding me. He probably hates my guts or something and I don’t know why," I mumbled. My eyes started watering slightly at the thought of how my best friend was mad at me. I knew it made me seem weak, but I didn’t care. Opinions meant way too much to me, especially the opinions of my best friends.

"Well that sucks. For him, I mean. He would be a fool to hate you. You're funny, and smart, and witty, and gorgeous...."

I stopped him, noticing how his cheeks were turning pink as he spoke. "You know we're talking about me and not you, right?" I smirked.

He let out a chuckle. "If I was describing myself, I would have said 'sexy, hot, ridiculously awesome sex god'. Duh." I rolled my eyes at him as we reached the side of the stage. The guys were already on, about to start their set. Eric leaned his head on mine. "He'd be lucky to have someone like you, just remember that."

"Thanks, Halvo. That means a lot to me, really," I said quietly. A small smile played at my lips and I wrapped my arms around his waist. He kissed my forehead, and that was how we stood for the rest of the show- arms wrapped around each other, leaning against each other. To anyone that didn’t know us, it would have instantly seemed like we were a couple. But to anyone that did know me, they knew this was normal. Throughout the set, all the guys would look over at us occasionally and smile or wave, sometimes even wink. Except for Pat.

The only acknowledgment he gave me was a weak smile, and a look that seemed to be mixed with fear, anger, and something else I just couldn’t place. I still didn’t know what I had done wrong. As their set came to an end, I was determined to talk to Pat- to ask what I did to deserve the silent treatment. To find out what was so horrible that he was giving me the cold-shoulder.

As I pulled away from Eric and started walking towards the stage, a sudden force knocked me off my feet and began twirling me in the air. I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my face against their chest, not wanting to see the spinning world that would surely make me nauseous. "Put me down!" I shrieked, swatting blindly at my attacked. Finally, my Converse clad feet touched the ground, and I opened my eyes, finding a mess of red hair in front of me. "Nicholas Santino, I am ready to fucking kill you!" I yelled at him, slapping his arm.

"Love you too, Rae," he mumbled, rubbing the spot I'd hit him. "Anyway, I just wanted to wish my bestest friend a happy birthday!" He exclaimed, kissing my forehead.

"No. You are not my bestest friend anymore. You know that I hate being spun around," I whined, pouting childishly.

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say. Anyway, I gotta run," he turned to Eric. "And so do you. We have a signing to do!" Halvo's mouth formed an 'o' as he suddenly remember what he was supposed to be doing. The two waved goodbye before running off.

I turned around, expecting to see the five The Maine boys, but instead there were only four. "Pat's gone again," I said quietly, my voice trembling with tears that threatened to spill over. It was supposed to come out as a question, but instead came out as a fact. And it was true. He was my best friend, and he was avoiding me. I couldn’t help it. My fear of opinions got the best of me, and a few tears fell from my eyes, clinging to my lashes.

"I'm sure you'll see him today," Garrett reassured, putting an arm around me to comfort me. I just nodded, wiping furiously at the tears that managed to escape. "Don’t worry. You’re his best friend. Whatever is bothering him can't last that long."

And I just prayed to God that he was right.

*****

Pat felt absolutely terrible. It was Reagan's birthday- he should have been celebrating with her. Instead, he was completely avoiding her. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be with her. It was the exact opposite, really. He wanted to see her, to be with her, he wanted to have her. That’s why he was avoiding- Pat was slowly working up the nerve to tell Rae how he really felt.

He had decided that after their set would be the best time. He didn’t want to avoid her all day. And he was convinced that was when it would happen.

He thought of all the times she'd flirt with him. The way she'd constantly hug him, kiss his cheek. The way she snuggled with him, and sat in his lap. Their late night conversations. Movies nights. All the special things they did together. He was slowly convincing himself that he could do this- that she did like him. Pat didn’t know that she really did, but he was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, she did.

By the time The Maine's 12:15 set had rolled around, Pat was sure that he was going to be telling Reagan that he loved her. Of course, once she actually appeared at the side of the stage, Pat lost his nerve.

Eric had his arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders, while she was leaning against him, with her arms wrapped around his waist. Pat noticed she saw him staring, and offered her a weak smile. But all he could really think about was how jealous he was. It was a known fact among the guys that Halvo liked Rae. Everyone but Reagan knew. However, Halvo knew who Rae really liked, and that was why he'd never go after her.

Of course, that didn’t stop him from flirting and cuddling with her all the time. It was as if he thought that flirting and kissing and cuddling her would make her fall for him. Pat couldn’t say anything though, or else it would expose his secret and everyone would find out he liked her.

Seeing the way they were together, how much they looked like a couple, it truly hurt Pat. He had himself so convinced that she liked him, that she felt the same way. But now he was remembering- she was the exact same way with everyone else. He wasn’t special. Sure, he was her best friend, but now, Pat was convinced Rae felt nothing romantic towards him. Their relationship was purely platonic.

As their show came to an end, Pat slowly made his way off the stage. He was trying to prepare some lie for why he'd been avoiding Reagan when a flash of bright red hair picked her up off the ground and started spinning her around- something everyone knew she absolutely hated.

Pat saw this as his opportunity to escape. While she was distracted, he quickly hurried off, hoping to find safety in the Warped Tour crowd, silently thanking Nick Santino for catching her off-guard.

He felt guilty when he looked back, seeing that hurt look cross her face when she realized he had left. But this was for the best. Pat had to avoid her unless he wanted his secret to come spilling out.

At least, that’s what he thought until he ran into Halvo himself. Nick was standing impatiently behind him, grumbling about how they'd be late to their signing.

"What the hell, man?" Halvo asked Pat angrily. It startled him. Had he done something wrong?

"What are you talking about?"

"Reagan. She's convinced you hate her or something. She was practically in tears. Why are you avoiding her?" Eric yelled at him.

Pat hung his head in shame. Had he really upset her that much? " I-I didn’t mean to... I just... it's for the best," Pat stuttered out, staring at his shoes.

"You are such a dumbass," Eric said bitterly. "Reagan likes you. She really likes you. I really don’t know why you're being such a dick to her. But I swear, if you break her heart..."

Nick interrupted him. "Halvo, we need to fucking go!" He said impatiently.

Eric frowned, but nodded. He turned back to Pat one last time. "You better be real careful with her, Kirch. Real fucking careful."

And with that, Halvo and Nick turned, walking away. All that they left behind was Pat- even more confused and upset then he had already been. He rushed his way to their bus, unable to handle the crowds anymore.

It wasn’t until he was alone in his bunk that what Halvo had said really sunk it.

Reagan liked him?

If that was true, Pat realized, then he had officially become the biggest asshole in the world.