Words I've Never Said

I just wanted to let you know that you're my best friend. And by the way, I never loved him. I did like him, as a friend, but now I hate him. I only pretended I liked him, I thought that maybe I would seem like a normal teenage girl. But the effects rubbed off on me, and now I still think of those few days as a sad time. I wanted to let you know that my life is quite fucked up. And I have panic attacks all the time. And those scars you see on my wrist? They're because I can't handle life sometimes. Sometimes I just want out. Once, I attempted suicide, but now I don't want to die. I just want the pain to end. I know that you probably don't care about this, but I feel like you're the only one I can talk to, but sometimes I jsut can't get it out. Sometimes, I just want to bleed, and no one can understand that. It's the only kind of pain I can tolerate, self-induced.

I wish you didn't have to go away. AndI'msorryIlikeyouit'snotmyfaultIjustdo.