Celski Undeniably Meltski My Soulski

"Kristine," my mom yelled at me from the car.

"WHAAAAAAT?" I yelled back mumbling a curse word. She's so fuking irritating!

"Hurry up, we want to drive back to San Jose before the traffic gets heavy."

What loving parents! I'm moving all my stuff to my dorm at UC Berkeley and my parents could only worry about traffic. Seriously, what's the rush? Your house isn't moving anywhere.

"Kris," my dad said. "We love that you got into your dream school! You make us so proud!"

"Thanks! It's just sad that I won't get to see you guys as much."

"Oh, really? We thought you hated us! Oh well, I'm thinking about turning your room into a second closet," my mom grinned from ear to ear.

I rolled my eyes, turned around, and whispered: "Well at least I'll get to sleep around more often." I laughed at how funny that sounded to me.

"Kris, we want you to have this," my dad handed me an Apple box.

"Thanks dad, but I didn't ask for anything."

"It's alright honey, we got you an iPhone. You've been begging for one ever since it came out. We want you to take pictures of your daily life and send it to us. Just be careful of sexting. We don't want to know what you're doing."

"UGH! EW! Why do you think I'm going to be taking naked photos of myself?"

As my dad walked off, my mom looked around the room and said, "Well, I found some when I had to borrow your laptop that one time. I pressed something and it accidentally popped up. Don't be ashamed though. Your father and I, well we're not saints either."

I slapped my forehead. FML HARD&FAST! I thought I deleted those. Crap!

"Well, Kris, you're such a beautiful girl. We saw the massive flow of boys coming and going every night that we, frankly, aren't surprised by them," my mother continued to embarrass me.
"Oh well, I guess that's everything, right? See you later honey."

My mother kissed my cheeks and gave me a hug. My dad just said bye, walked to the door, and closed it.

It was sunny in Berkeley. There was a bunch of carts for luggage in front of the buildings. I could see my classmates arriving and saying goodbye to their parents. I could see slutty Asian girls in shorts with their RayBan aviator glasses and the hippie white guys in their curly brunette hair and 5 o'clock shadows sitting on the benches underneath the trees. I saw a bunch of tall guys, I'm asumming they were athletes, walking into the building opposite mine. Then a thought popped into my head: these students must've cheated their way into Berkeley also because most of them, like me, looked like such douchebag losers and procrastinators!

I opened my iPhone box and started to charge my phone. Realizing that I was not the only person attending Berkeley from my school, I grabbed my BlackBerry.

"Great. Nobody else is here yet. Fuk!" I said. I'm so lonely and bored in my single dorm. I knew I should've gotten a roommate but if I did, I would not have the freedom to scream as loud as I wanted to at night.

My phone started to vibrate on my bed.

"Hey Mike!" I said.

"Are you here yet?"

"Yeah! Dude, I'm so alone! It's so nice here though!"

"Yeah, you should see the frozen yogurt place across my building."

"Wait, what building are you at?" I looked out the window. "THERE'S A FROYO PLACE IN FRONT OF MINE!"

"What's your yogurt place called?"

"Yogurtland!"

"HOLY SHIT KRIS, WE'RE IN THE SAME BUILDING!"

"DUUUUDE, AMAZING SHIT!"

So what if I'm excited? It is amazing that my best friend and cousin Mike is in the same building as mine. We are literally sandbox babies. He was kind of a douchebag to others but since we're family he's very protective of me. We stuck by each other through thick and thin even though we always fought about the guys I've dated. Don't ask me why, I don't even know, but if I had to guess it's probably because he's jealous that they were getting more attention from me.

"Meet me in the lounge area on the 5th floor!"

"Alright, just to let you know, I'm on the 9th floor," I responded back to him. "Mike, I'm so glad
we're in the same building! We should just walk around."

"No, I can't. I'm waiting for my roommate who is flying in from Seattle."

"Uh, why do you have to wait for him? I'm sure he's 18 and doesn't need his roommate c-ckblocking his first day here."

"We made arrangements a couple of months back when we got each other's info. He's flying to
Oakland airport by himself and he needs someone to pick him up. Since we're roommates I offered to help him. He told me he's some professional athlete."

Great! I didn't want Mike to hang around with some douchey looking kid who only cared about sports. I sure as hella didn't want to look like a groupie following around some pro athlete either.

"What's his name?"

"John."

"Okay, so exactly what sport is he in?"

"Speedskating."

I know a thing or two about speedskating. I watched the Winter Olympics and fell in love with Apolo Ohno. That man; so handsome, so smooth, I just want to lay next to him and rub his soulpatch. Up and down, up and down, I'm picturing it in my head, it must be terribly soft!

"I'm picking him up in 15 minutes. By the time you come down and we start walking to my car, we'll be able to get there on time."

I told him I'll see him in a couple of minutes and hung up the phone. I put my roomkey in my Coach bag and headed for the elevator.

"Finally! That was more than a couple of minutes," Mike remarked at me as I entered the lounge area.

"I'm sorry," I told him. "The building is old and the elevators are CRAP! There are too many people coming in and out that it's hard to find an elevator that isn't full or going the opposite way."

"Have you heard of something called the stairs?"

"Biitch, don't make fun of me."

We proceeded to head out of our building. The weather wasn't bad. It wasn't San Jose weather, that's for sure. It was sunny and warm but there was a nice breeze and the smell of oak trees was refreshing.

"I don't know how I'm going to find parking," Mike said to me unlocking the car door. "I think I need to get those stickers for permitted parking zones. I wonder how much that's going to cost and whether it's even worth it."

"it's a necessity. Just do it!"

We arrived at the Oakland airport at the American Airline terminal area. I started looking around for a guy our age.

"There he is," Mike said pointing at his direction.

"Where?" I asked in panic. I didn't see who he was talking about.

"That guy. In the white t-shirt, hat, and the Oakley shades." Mike looked at me. "The guy on the phone. RIGHT THERE!"

I spotted him. He was wearing a tshirt that said: Everybody loves a Filipino boy. I laughed. It looked pretty ridiculous. I mean, I have Filipino friends but it's another thing to profess to the world what nationality you are. Why not just keep people guessing? It's like sluts. Why would you dress like a slut? You could just be an undercover slut and impress a really good guy because, lets face it, you only need one good Suga Daddy in life.

I couldn't see his face because of his black Oakleys and the hat but he looked really familiar to me. Mike opened his trunk and helped him put his luggage inside. His roommate opened the backdoor and sat down. He took off his glasses and I watched him through the side mirror.

"Hi, I'm Jay-R!" He extended his hand to me. I looked back and lo and behold! It was JAY-MOTHERFUKING-ARR CELSKI! THE CELSKI! THE CELSKINATOR! THE MAN THAT EVERY GIRL WAS LUSTING AFTER! I was about to cream in my pants and have a spontaneous O if my body had no sense of self control! I knew this kid. I stalked him through Twitter harder than the crotch pads on their skinsuits.

I shook his hand. They were soft. He was well moisturized. I was speechless.

"I'm Kristine. That's with a 'K'."

"O-Kay," he emphasized the letter. "Cool. So you two cousins?"

"Yeah," Mike said. "BFF since we were, like, 3."

"Oh cool."

JR was really a man of words. He was soft spoken but his west coast slang was enough to
devirginize any teen (pre-teen excluded). He was silent the rest of the way back.

When we got up to the building, he laughed and said, "There's two elevators."
JR looked at me and smiled. It was perfection. He looked like a little kid but he wasn't. I eyed him up and down. God, he had such a strong build and you could see his chest just popping out of that tshirt. His chest tattoo looked like it was burning the tshirt. It just wanted to bust out.

Mike cleared his throat. I guess he saw that I was eyeing JR like a tiger on a prowl.

"We can do that thing like on Serendipity. Y'know they tried going to the different levels and see if they would end up at the same spot." JR said shortly after Mike cleared his throat.

JR sounded like a poof. Serendipity?! Seriously, why is he watching that movie? He should be watching 500 Days of Summer or something cuz that shit was boring as hell and I wouldn't have gotten the reference.

As JR was setting his stuff down, Mike turned to me and said, "You like my roommate, huh?"

"Yeah, he's cool," I played it off like it was nothing. I didn't want to look like a huge slut on the first day.

For the rest of the day, I unpacked my stuff and organized them. I took a shower and helped the guys unpack their loads too. I didn't know how hard it was helping two guys get settle down. We were all excited, nervous, and scared about our official start on Wednesday. But I was especially excited that someone like JR was rooming with my cousin. Somehow I felt like this year was going to be the best year of my life!