My Life As I Know It

Have you ever looked yourself in the mirror and realized how much you’ve grown? Or how long your hair was? Or how tall you were? Have you ever thought back to when you were a child, and those sweet memories of innocence, puppy love, and happiness appear? Have you ever felt the joy of being loved, or of loving someone unconditionally? How exactly is that feeling? Is it nice? Is it comforting, or beautiful? When exactly did you realize that that all was a loud of bullshit, and that when you really think back hard enough, all you can remember is crying yourself to sleep every night, wondering why even though you pray for it, your life isn’t getting any better, and every time they tell you, no, they promise you things, they end up in a lie and you end up hurt but somehow believing that it was just a slip up, that it’ll never happen again. When what you really remember of the cute boy living next to you, was the rude, obnoxious, self-centered, brat, who just happened to tell you he liked you, when all he wanted was to play with your frail little heart. What you think of when you remember those family outings, the ones were everything usually goes wrong, the only ones that exist were there are even more people to neglect you, ignore you, and hate you more then the world and wish you would die where you stand, all because of a feud they have with that particular parent or guardian. Do you once remember smiling more then you felt pain? Now, where did the innocence, the love, and the happiness go? There is none, there never was…