Crash Into My Arms

I walked back from Max’s mother’s house later that afternoon in the tangerine glow of the sunset. Surprisingly, I had a small smile on my face, probably from having made peace with Max for the time being. I just hoped this time it would last, I was too tired to keep playing this endless game of cat and mouse with him.

I’d run in circles over and over again with him over the last few years, thinking we were friends again, until he suddenly said something nasty to me and/or spread rumors about me. But he had sounded pretty sincere earlier today, maybe, just maybe, this time things were different.

I realized I had nowhere to go, but I hadn’t told Terry or Rose that, they would have only made me stay another night, and I’d felt like I’d been asking too much of them just from having shown up on the doorstep last night with no forewarning. I’d figure something out, but I knew one thing for certain; I sure as hell was not going home. I’d had it with Mum; I wasn’t going to take her shit anymore.

I decided I’d pay Gerard a visit, I owed him an apology. I had been way out of line the other day. I shouldn’t have blown up at him the way I had, but I knew he of all people would probably understand why I acted the way I did. I walked up his driveway, completely nerve-wracked, and rang the doorbell.

“Hey.” Gerard spoke quietly as he opened the door.
“I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted the other day, it wasn’t cool.”
That warm smile I loved so much spread across his face. “Miz, it’s fine, I understand.” He opened the door and stood aside to let me in.
“It’s just… whenever I try to go back and play music, it just reminds me…” I trailed off.
“Of your Father?” He finished.
“Yeah.” I nodded.
“I get it; don’t beat yourself up over it.” He smiled reassuringly. “Come here, I wanna show you something.”

I followed him through to his room, where his guitar lay upon his bed, he sat down and propped it up in his lap, and I sat on the floor in front of him as he began to play. The music was absolutely beautiful, and shivers ran down my spine as he began to sing;

“The world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me, are you thinking of me? Are you thinking of him?”

“You could say you’re sorry, but I think you need to know, that I don’t want you to go.”

“The world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me, are you thinking of me? Like I’m thinking of you?”

“I would say I’m sorry, but I really need to go, I just wanted you to know...”

“There’s an ache in my heart, there’s a burning in my eyes, I can get a new start, just by looking in your eyes, I can find a new place, where the pain just melts away, but our time is limited…”

I tried to wipe away the tears that were now streaming from my eyes, the song was so beautiful, and the emotion in Gerard’s voice when he sang was breath-taking. He put his guitar down as he finished playing, and looked at me with sympathy written on his face.

“Come here you.” He spoke, beckoning me towards him.

I got up from the floor and sat beside him, and he held me as I continued to cry, so overwhelmed by the song.

“Shh.” He cooed, brushing my hair back from my face. “Don’t cry.” He giggled.
“It’s so beautiful.” I sniffled.
“I wrote it for you.”
“What?” I looked up at him, surprised.
“I wanted to show you, truly show you, that you are never alone, that I am always here, and no matter how ugly the world may sometimes seem, you should never let it get you down, you’re beautiful, you have your whole life ahead of you, don’t dwell on things in the past, move forward, think of your future.” Gerard explained, and I suddenly realized the line “Are you thinking of him?” was about my father. “I’ve always found my emotions easier to explain through music; maybe you could do the same? Maybe you could let music help you find the strength to let go of your father? Or help you find faith in yourself again? I’ve watched you when you sing and when you play, this whole other side of you comes out, this girl that’s not afraid of life, she embraces it, and then when you stop, you crawl back inside your shell.” He said, rubbing my arm.
“I go to a different place when I sing, the world fades away.”
“Then keep going to that place, I think you’ll find yourself again there, and get back on your feet.” He smiled, pulling me back to look at my face. He wiped my tears away, unfortunately also wiping away the foundation that I had applied to cover the bruise on my cheek from Burke hitting me. “What happened to your cheek?” He asked me.
“Oh it’s nothing, just Mama’s stupid boyfriend finally showing his true colours, but I’m willing to bet anything that Mama will find some way of pinning the blame on me.”
“I’ll kill him.” Gerard growled.
“You’ll do no such thing.” I said.
“He hit you.”
“And it was bound to happen sooner or later, but trust me, I can handle this.”
Gerard’s shoulders heaved with his sped up, angered breathing.
“Calm yourself!” I snapped, placing a hand on his shoulder. “It’s not worth you getting in trouble over.”
“If he lays another finger on you, I’m not going to sit back and let him get away with it, you hear me?” He scowled.
“Understood.” I nodded…