Crash Into My Arms

“Just hang on, woahhh, and be strong, da da dun, da da da, da da dun da da da da da…”

“Miz?” Gerard croaked, making me snap my eyes open and stop singing.
“Yes, Gerard?”
“I need you to take me home.” He sighed.
“What?” I blinked. “You can’t be serious.”
“I can’t die here, I wanna go home.”
“But Gerard, you need doctors on you twenty four seven.”
“They’ve done all they can, I wanna live out my last days in peace, at home.” He explained. “Take me home, Miseria.”
“Gerard…”
“Please.” He begged, his eyes glassy, like he was about to cry.
I took a deep breath, pursing my lips and closing my eyes, then exhaled. “Okay.” I spoke, re-opening my eyes. “I’ll… I’ll go get the nurse.”

***

I pushed Gerard along in his wheelchair after we got out of his father’s car. The doctors and nurses weren’t exactly happy with Gerard’s sudden decision to leave the hospital, but had agreed to let him go.

Mikey helped me lift Gerard up onto the porch and Donna opened the door. I wheeled Gerard inside and through to his bedroom. Donna piled up some extra pillows onto Gerard’s bed, and then Mikey and I helped him out of the wheelchair and laid him down.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Donna said, nudging her husband and Mikey; telling them to give us some peace too.

I sat down on the bed beside Gerard, taking one of his hands in my own. “Are you comfortable?”
“Yes, thank you, Miseria.” He smiled.
“I’m not happy about you leaving the hospital.” I admitted.
“I know.” He nodded. “But still, thank you.”
“Gerard, what you said back there, about living out your last days in peace…”
“Yeah.” Gerard sighed. “I can feel my body deteriorating… I… I don’t think I have much time left.”
“Gerard.” I croaked, the tears falling instantly. “Don’t talk like that.”
“We both know I’m not getting any better, and that I won’t.” He said.
“You can’t give up!” I cried.
“It’s not my decision, Miz.”
“You can stall it; you have your will to live!”
“Miseria, I have been fighting this for over two years now.” Gerard breathed. “I can’t fight it anymore, I’m too weak.”
“You can’t give up.” I sniffled. “I need you.”
“You’ll be okay.” He spoke. “Just remember what I told you the other day; you’re healthy, and you have your whole life ahead of you, sure, when I’m gone, you’re going to be devastated, you’re going to mourn me, but you can’t stop living.”
“Gerard, I can’t live without you.” I whimpered.
“You can, and you will, remember? You promised me you’d stay alive.”
“You promised me you’d keep fighting!” I snapped. “And you’re giving up!”
“Miz, I’m sorry.” He rasped. “But I can’t, anymore, it’s a miracle I survived this long.” He grabbed my hand. “I will always, be with you, I promise.” He brought my hand to my heart. “In here.”
“Gerard…” I sniffled. "I love you."

I laid down beside him and cuddled up to him. He stroked my hair as I cried, whispering that he’d always be with me in spirit, and I eventually cried myself to sleep…